I Write Sins, Not Tragedies: Emmett Cullen
by Shelby Gander
Summary: Mary Louise Renner was an unexpecting girl-next-door. Mary was nothing extraordinary, only known for her exceptional intelligence. Mary was never one to believe in fantasy; until now.
1. Chapter One

I Write Sins, Not Tragedies

Chapter One: A Long, Winding Road

Portland, Oregon never has been a particularly bright, sunny place; at least not in the eighteen years that I have seen it. Typically the city is overcast and dreary, giving it a somewhat boring day to day monotony. That is why I was so glad to hear that my mother and I were going on vacation to Los Angeles this summer, and what a vacation it truly was. I turned my attention to the sloppily written checklist on my old desk and slowly allow my mind to go over it one last time. Shorts? Check. Sunglasses? Check. Tank tops, bathing suit, sunblock? Check.

"Mary?" My mother knocked at my opened door politely before entering. "Are you about ready to leave? We have a long drive ahead; you may have to take the wheel for a few hours along the way."

"That's fine." I told her, "And yes, I am nearly ready. I was just making sure I have everything." Just then it hit me what I was forgetting, so I scrambled clumsily to my top drawer in my dresser across the small room. "Underwear!"

"Well, let's not forget that." My mother mumbled sarcastically with a little chuckle.

Instead of picking out a few pair, I just grabbed all that I could in my hands and managed to just barely cram it into an already stuffed suitcase. Who knows, maybe I'll need a few dozen clean pair. After all, I am a neat freak like that. I took a deep breath and hoisted my bags off the bed, "Alright. Ready."

Neither my mother nor I had packed many bags, so loading the car only took a few seconds. We gathered the wrinkled old road map and a few of our favorite CD's for the trip. On my way out of the house, I grabbed two bottles of water for us to share on the road. I was eager to head off and hit the road.

Just like any other normal day in the Pacific Northwest, it was raining. It is something you grow accustomed to when you don't know any different. I had offered to drive first, at least until nightfall because that was when my mother started to get nervous about my driving skills; even if it was an unwarranted fret.

We hadn't been driving for more than two minutes when my mom asked me a question. "So what do you think about Ben?" Benjamin Fredrick Elliot was my mother's boyfriend of only three weeks. I didn't care much for him because I didn't think he treated her the way she deserved. I tried to keep myself from making a face, I didn't want to argue with her again about it.

"He is alright. It's only been three weeks, Mom, I can't really say." I really wanted that to be the end of it, I had thought this was going to be a drama free trip between me and my mother. I knew my mom better than anyone else, she was my closest companion; naturally I knew the silence that followed was her way of begging me to keep going. "Why do you ask?"

My mother waited for a second, gathering her words in her mind before answering. "Well, Mary, your father has been dead for six years now…"

"Mom.."

"Let me finish," My mom kept on, "I just think you need a man in your life, Mary; a father figure." There was a long silence after she had finished her statement. My dad's death was a very touchy topic with me and it took a while for me to answer, even when I did my voice had a little more attitude than I had wanted it to.

"Where are you going with this, Mom?"

My mom waited, and with each passing second the air got heavier. "Ben has asked me to marry him, Mary. And I've said yes."

My foot slammed onto the break before I could stop it. "Holy Crow, Mom!" We had both bolted forwards out of our seats from the force of the stop. I was shouting at her now, all restraint had been slammed shut. "What are you thinking? You don't know anything about this man!"

"Mary, I'm thirty-seven years old,"

"I don't give a damn how old you are, mom." I yelled right over her, "Perhaps you would think that you could act like it once and a blue moon! You met this man three weeks ago! I can't believe you! What about dad, huh? What would dad think?"

"Your dad is dead, Mary!"

"I don't need you to remind me, thanks." I spat. We were still stopped right in the middle of the road; cars were passing around us now, but not without shooting us stares as they drove by. I took my foot off the break and slowly edged forward, tears forming in my eyes. Every time my mom mentioned him, it brought his image back to my mind and reminded me of how much I missed him.

A few minutes passed of the tears slowly falling down my face, but only when my mother wasn't looking at me. Finally she spoke as she stared out the opposite window. "I'm sorry, Mary. I didn't mean to upset you."

I ignored her apology. "He isn't right for you, Mom. When are you ever going to listen to me? You've been married four times since dad died, and every one of those guys were losers."

"Ben is different."

"And so were Henry, and John, and Mike, and Ted." I retorted. "They were all the same; here for a few months, a year if you were lucky, and then gone out the door." She was quiet and so was I for a moment as my words sank in. "I know what you are doing, Mom; no matter how hard you look, you aren't going to find Dad again."

The silence told me I was right even though she answered, "I know that."

I was too angry to answer her any further, and at this point I was sure that she wasn't going to press the matter anymore with me; at least not at this point. I was focusing hard outside the windshield reading unnecessarily deep into each passing road sign.

My mother flipped on the radio, and I let out a breath that I didn't realize I had been holding. At least the music provided me with a welcome distraction from the news. It wasn't my favorite station and I didn't recognize the tune, but it didn't matter.

I let another song or two pass with silence between the two of us, and once the station had cut to commercials, I broke. "Do you want to listen to a CD?"

"Sure." My mother agreed, reaching to the back seat and pulling up our black CD booklet, placing it into my lap. "Your choice." She was purposely trying to be nice to me after our little bout.

I opened the thick booklet that was already unzipped and tried to manage the wheel meanwhile flipping through the many albums it contained. After a few pages, I settled on my favorite Muse album and pulled it from its pocket. My hands, however, weren't exactly ready to hold onto the album and it fell out of my grasp.

"Crap." The CD had fallen down next to my left leg and I had bent down to reach for it. I was fumbling a little bit because it had fallen more towards the underside of the seat. I was unable to see the road, much less keep control over the car. I heard a loud horn going off, sounding like that of a sixteen wheeler. The hair on the back of my neck rose up, but my reaction was not fast enough. There was a screeching of rubber and a smashing of glass.

I felt the dashboard smash into the back of my neck, I felt my nose snapping against the bones in my leg. There was a sharp pain everywhere. There was not one place on my body that didn't feel ripped apart. This was the worst pain I had ever felt, I was sure that I was going to die right then and there; just before reaching my dreams of those bright California beaches that I was never going to see.

"_If you've been in an accident and the insurance company denied your claim, give us a call."_ The radio advertisement was the last thing that rang eerily in my ears just before everything went cold, black, and empty.


	2. Chapter Two

I Write Sins, Not Tragedies

Chapter Two: Strange Places, Stranger People

I should have heard sirens. No. Erase that. I shouldn't have heard anything. I should have been dead. I was starting to gain back some awareness as to my surroundings, and unfortunately my condition as well. My entire body felt like one huge bruise; everything killed. This was another thing that told me I was still alive. Heaven shouldn't feel like this, not by any "survivor" accounts anyway. Unless I was in hell, but I couldn't think of anything I had really done to deserve that either.

There were some muffled voices below me, as if they were traveling up from some other room. There were no sounds of medical equipment as to alert me that I may have been in a hospital. It was fairly quiet. I tried to strain my ears to listen to what the voices were saying, but it only made my head throb and a ringing noise take center stage in my eardrums.

After a moment the voices broke off suddenly, and footsteps could barely be heard as they came closer to wherever I was. It made me nervous, not knowing where I was or what was going on. I could hear the noise of a door moving, I didn't know if that meant it was opening or closing because I still hadn't dared to open my eyes, I wasn't even sure that I was able to for that matter.

I had felt a sharply cold hand grab gently onto my wrist, as if they were searching for a pulse. My eyes shot open with a gasp at the sudden and drastic change of temperature.

Before me was a tall blond man dressed in a light blue shirt and a lab coat, which brought me to the conclusion that he was a doctor, although he appeared to be entirely too young for the title. He was no darker than the white walls around him and his eyes were a unique shade of yellow. His face was absolutely perfect in structure. It was like I had stepped into an episode of one of those hospital drama shoes like Grey's Anatomy. The man smiled apologetically and when he spoke to soothe me, his voice matched his beautiful appearance. "Sorry about that. I know they are very cold."

I wanted to open to speak, but my throat was way too dry are sore.

"My name is Dr. Carlisle Cullen." The man continued, monetizing the conversation understandingly; answering any questions I may have had. "You were in a car accident on Monday morning, just north of here." He paused to check a few more of my vitals. "You were brought here to mine and my family's home in Portland soon after and we have been taking care of you these last few days."

This frightened me. _There has been an accident,_ he said. _A few days. _All of his words continued to replay in my mind and I felt a constricting in my chest. I looked around for another bed, searching for my mother. When I didn't see one panic started to sink in. The words hurt not only my throat, but my heart. "My mother. Where is my mother?"

The doctors face darkened and he look downward. I knew before he had even said anything what his answer was going to be. "Your mother, I'm sorry. Your mother was too badly injured in the accident. She was dead when we found the wreckage." He didn't meet my eyes, for which I was glad. The sympathy in them, by which I knew by his voice, would have made the grief all the more unbearable.

The doctor carefully and silently replaced a few of my bandages and tidied my bed before he spoke again, his voice still soft and compassionate. "There is a bell on that table right there." He pointed to an end table on the right side of me, "If you need anything at all, just ring it. Someone will come in and take care of you."

As soon as the doctor closed the door tight behind him, I cried.

I didn't keep track of time. I couldn't tell you whether it had been days, or weeks. I slipped in and out of a sleep and in and out of fits of grief for what felt like forever. All the while I kept thinking that my mother was going to show up at some point, right out of the rainclouds that constantly covered the sky. But I was a logical person, and I was well aware that death was final; and when we die we simply cease to exist. Except for the loved ones that we leave behind to remember us.

The doctor came in once or twice a day to check on me and clean me up. He would fill me in on my recovery progress and I would listen halfheartedly. Sometimes he would bring in food, and he would tell me that his wife prepared it out of worry. I wouldn't eat it, though. I would only nod and wait for him to leave the room before rolling over and trying to sleep for some temporary escape.

If only the drugs he were giving me were stronger.

It was a while before anyone knew came in. I didn't know what day it was, as I didn't even bother to keep up with the days of the week. All I knew was that the pain of the aftermath was starting to subside, even if the relief were only physical. It was a woman that came in to check on me. She was just as pale as the doctor had been, and she bore the same strange yellow eyes as he. Her hair was shoulder length and caramel in color, like silky waves.

It was she that carried in a meal this time. Perhaps it was to give me a break from the same old, same old. "Hello." When she smiled at me, I could tell it was with a genuine friendliness and concern. It reminded me of the way my mother smiled at me. That made me sick and I cursed myself a little for even thinking of the comparison. "I thought you might be hungry. You haven't eaten at all since you've been here."

I didn't answer, I just followed her with my eyes as she came to set the plate down on the table.

"I don't know what you like, so I have just made a little bit of everything." She looked at me, and it was a pleading in her eyes, and a real maternal concern for my health. It was as if she were waiting for me to try it, just to take a bite. Something about her made me feel guilty, so I turned my attention to the plate.

It was, indeed, a little bit of everything. There was some roasted chicken, some pasta, a baked potato, some green bean casserole. It was only a bite or two per option, but it was clear that she was really putting in an effort to keep me pleased. It smelt absolutely mouthwatering, and it looked like it had taken her all day. That thought made me sad; sad that I had been rudely sending back food untouched all this time. I picked up a fork and grabbed a bite of green beans.

Once I had chewed and swallowed she spoke again. "I know this must all be so much to deal with, especially the loss." I continued eating while she was talking; the food was so good that I couldn't stop myself. I didn't realize how hungry I really was. She seemed satisfied. "I just want you to know, that you are safe here; and you can stay for however long it takes you."

She stayed with me while I ate. I didn't speak to her, but I liked to listen to her talk; her voice was musical. She never got into deep matters, it was all small talk. Oddly, I liked the company.

"You know, I would love to know your name." She finally got around to asking questions. Questions made me nervous. "That way we could at least make you feel more welcome."

I thought about it before I answered. I was hoping this was going to be all I would have to reveal. I didn't want to dive into my life story for this stranger. "Mary."

The lady smiled then, as if she had won a war getting it out of me. "Hello, Mary." She smiled again, but stood up this time, reaching for the empty plate. "Welcome to our home, you can come out whenever you are ready to meet everyone else. Carlisle says you are ready to start walking around on your own again." Just before she walked out of the doorway, she turned and spoke one final time. "I'm Esme, by the way." And with that, the door closed and I was alone again.

Everyone else? Geez, how many more of these strange pretty people were there? All I knew was that I wasn't exactly ready to find out. I pulled the blankets back over my head, and with a full belly, fell right back asleep.


	3. Chapter Three

I Write Sins, Not Tragedies

Chapter Three: Look at me, I'm flying. Not.

I didn't sleep well. In fact, I hadn't been sleeping well since I had heard that my mother had passed away. I kept having nightmares about the accident; about how it was all my fault. There were no clocks in the room, so knowing the time of when I shot awake was impossible. My only indicator was the pitch black sky and the instinct it my gut that was telling me; its late, very late.

I really didn't feel like dealing with people, especially strangers. But after that meal that Esme left me, my stomach was screaming at me for more food. I had that near starvation sort of pain shooting through me, and it was coming close to unbearable. I needed sustenance.

Since my instinct told the time for me, I figured it was pretty well safe to roam about the house without being forced into an awkward encounter with the strange family whose home I just so happened to be invading. I was wearing a red and brown nightshirt, and I blushed a little bit when the wondering of how I got into it came to my mind. Hopefully it was a girl who dressed me. Whoever it had been was kind enough to select a matching pair of house shoes that was set neatly at the foot of my bed. There was a golden light coming from just above the door, which was clear had been dimmed to give me just enough light, but not too much as to disturb me. Thoughtful.

I was sure to be quiet as I pulled open the door, grateful that what was clearly an old house had been well kept enough to mask my venture. I looked both ways down the hallway; there were eight or nine doors total, and all were closed. I had to swallow my curiosity not to open them. Between each door was a piece of art, each one was tastefully linked in some way to the other and the each flowed. It came be something interesting when I had to pause to be sure the coast was clear enough to continue. They looked to be hand painted by someone extremely talented.

I approached the stairs, wide a wooden. I was nervous now, sure that at some point they were going to creak and wake someone. Then I would feel bad. It was rude enough to take up space in their home, and eat their food; it's another to wake them up in the wee hours of the night.

I decided that it would be best to take on the mountain all at once, and not just one step at a time. That way any disturbances would have been over and done with rather than drug on. I took a deep breath and held it there, closing my eyes before I took off. For a moment, I was flying; however, clumsy as I was, I lost my footing somewhere and crashed hard at the bottom landing. Mentally a stream of curse words were flung at myself. Surely someone heard that.

There was a small laugh from my left, and a cold hand grabbed onto my arm pulling me up. "That wasn't exactly the smartest of plans, you know." This girl did not sound as if she had been disturbingly awaken by my tumble; it was more like she hadn't been asleep at all.

"Sorry, about that." I blushed as I made it to might feet with her aid. "I didn't want to wake anyone." Ha. So much for that. "I was just…"

"Hungry." The girl finished my sentence for me. I looked up at her face, somewhat flabbergasted. This girl, too, had the same distinguishing pale skin and yellow eyes as the two I had met before. I was relieved to also notice that I could stand eye to eye with her, meaning I wasn't so freakishly short after all. Her black hair was worn in a pixie style; and while it was stark against her skin, it fit her pixie-like features well. She laughed again, sounding like a bell and danced forward into the open room; her movements were like that of a ballerina, liquid and graceful. It sort of made me jealous and all the more aware of my clumsiness. "You're in luck, I was just making up a little midnight snack. My name is Alice, Alice Cullen."

I began to walk over to the island counter that she was standing opposite of; her head was buried in the fridge. I began to answer. "I'm…"

"Mary, I heard." She set down a few of her chosen ingredients and shocked me when she pulled me into a friendly hug, her cold body gave me chills. "It's so nice to meet you." While that was only an introduction she behaved as if she had known me her entire life. "Are pancakes alright?"

My stomach made a noise that answered for me; and I laughed embarrassed. "Yeah, that sounds great." I paused, apprehensive to ask. "Not to be picky or anything….. I only eat my pancakes with….."

"Chocolate syrup?" It was clear that she meant it to be a question, but she said it like she already knew. Alice wasn't facing me, but standing over the stove. She pointed her hand to an oak cabinet to her left. "Second shelf."

Strange. "Alright.. Thanks.." I found the syrup and set it down on the table as I pulled out a chair. My eyes found the clock over the stove. Three in the morning. Wow. It was pretty late, I mean early. Whatever.

Alice had fixed two plates of pancakes and put a slab of butter on each before she brought them to the table. She has also poured two tall glasses of milk. "I bet this must all be so strange to you, being here." She spoke as I had dove into my plate like some sort of animal. Any other time, I can promise you I would have been humiliated, but now I was just down right starving.

"A little." It was all I managed to say between the gigantic bites that I was engorging on. I could feel each bite nearly melt in my mouth. It was like heaven; pure, buttery heaven. "These are really good."

"Aww, shucks." Alice waved her hand in dismissal. "I bet garbage sounds great; after all, you haven't eaten much all week, have you?" Alice merely shuffled her fork around in her plate, but never took a bite. Though that was the last thing I was worried about at that moment, I was too busy looking at her. I couldn't figure it out.

Another voice chimed in from across the open entry way. I turned my head and from what I could see it was a family room, which was centered by a large antique piano and a fireplace. "Alice, Jasper and I are going out."

The man was fairly boyish in the face, with messy copper hair. I think it is pretty well pointless to tell you that he too bore the same skin tone and eyes as the others I had met already. This one was really pretty; mysterious looking. His eyes fell on me and he smiled crookedly. He mentioned his hand up to his lips, "You've got a little something right…"

"Oh my god!" I turned back around facing the table, clutching a napkin to my mouth, clearing off all the chocolate. A gorgeous guy my age, and the first impression I leave it that I am a slob. "I'm sorry about that."

I could hear him chuckling a little. "That's nothing to apologize over." He held out his hand politely. "I'm Edward, Alice's brother." I shook his hand. I was no longer shocked to feel that it was cold just like the others.

"Adopted." Alice cleared up. "Adopted brother. We all are."

"I'm Mary." I told him, stupidly at a loss of words.

He smiled again, "Very pleased to meet you, Mary." He turned his attention back to Alice. "We will be back in a few hours. Just going to grab a bite."

"Oooh." I crowed interested. "Where at?"

Edward looked strangely nervous, but it was Alice that answered me with a laugh. "You just ate a whole stack of pancakes, Mary. It would be unhealthy to eat again."

Just as she said it, I got a heavy feeling in my stomach that told me she was right; another bite and I would probably hurl it all up again. I shrugged in agreement.

"Be careful." Alice said to Edward.

"Always am." Edward turned to me just before walking out the door. "Mary, you should probably get back to bed. You need all the rest you can get to get better."

As he shut the door, I yawned. "Alice?"

Alice stepped behind me, leading me back upstairs to the room I was staying in. "Hmm?"

"Who's Jasper?"

"You'll meet him tomorrow morning, along with everyone else." It was a simple answer, but I was too tired to care. As soon as my head hit the pillow I was out cold. I barely heard Alice call out from the doorway. "Goodnight, Mary."


	4. Chapter Four

I Write Sins, Not Tragedies

Chapter Four: The Runaway Prince

Alice was singing several octaves higher than the radio, and wasn't shy about doing so. She completely ignored the fact that I was a tad uncomfortable with car rides, seeing as I was just in an accident two weeks prior; she made that clear by driving an easy fifty miles over the designated speed limit. I was clutching onto the door handle of the car firmly, I was sure that this ride was not going to end simply. Alice, though, didn't seem to notice my discomfort.

She insisted on taking me out for some clothes; as all of mine were gone. These people have basically kidnapped me, in case you are wondering. I did try to mention taking me back to my house, but Alice seemed fairly heartbroken at that, and insisted that it wasn't in my best interests in doing so. Whenever the argument came up around him, Edward seemed to take my side.

Alice didn't like that.

I needed something to do to take my mind off of the road, and the speed at which we were traveling it. Nosy as it seemed, I began to snoop in the consoles of the car. There wasn't really much of interest, some junk papers, advertisements, coupon booklets, empty cd cases. I only paused when I came across a photograph. It was a family photo of the Cullens; I examined it. In the back was Carlisle and Esme, smiling happily; proud of their family. Alice and Jasper (whom I had met on my third day with the family, although he didn't say much) were kneeling down in the front, in a subtlety romantic embrace. Edward and the one I had found out to be Rosalie were flanking towards the edges, smiling politely.

My eyes, though, fell towards the man kneeling in the middle. He was clearly very much taller than the others, and his broad shoulders carried many, many muscles that were clearly visible through the gray t-shirt he was wearing. His face, too, was very masculine; with strong aristocratic features. He had dimples, you could see them in his large smile; and his golden eyes were alight with mischief. I couldn't help but smile at him. However, I noted too, that the Cullens had never mentioned this man to me.

"Hey, Alice?" I tore my eyes from the photograph, "Who is this?"

The cheery attitude that she was wearing moments before faded, and she turned down the music so as to allow me to hear her explanation. "That is Emmett. He is also my brother." I waited, expecting her to explain a little more, but when she didn't I spoke up to ask.

"Your brother? Why haven't I met him? Where is he?"

"He left." Alice put simply. "The day he brought you here."

"What?" I exclaimed, surprised. "He brought me here?" Vaguely my mind went into the girlish thoughts of me being wrapped in those muscular arms, being carried away from my almost certain death….

I shook away those thoughts, blushing. Alice continued. "Yes, Mary. He rescued you."

"But why did he leave?"

Alice paused cautiously, pursing her small pink lips in thought.. "It is hard to explain, Mary. It isn't exactly my place to tell you." There was a longer pause after she said that. "Anyways, we are here. And this is a girl day, not one for family complications."

I sighed, shaking away the mystery though it didn't leave my mind. "Right. Shopping."

Alice grinned at me, her cheery mood back; she spoke in eager agreement, "Shopping."

That girl could move. Alice bounded from shop to shop; not bothering to browse for herself, only searching for things that she could force me to try on. I think it is fair to estimate that I had spent at least two hours behind those dressing room walls at the Portland Mall while she threw more and more ridiculous outfits overtop and underneath the door.

Despite how pessimistic that may sound, I have to admit. I did manage to find a wardrobe worth of clothing that I actually found liking to my taste. Then came the mountain of shoes, and the massive amount of accessories and bags.

I felt really, really awkward when Alice pulled out her debit card. It was one thing to browse and try things on. I didn't really expect anyone to buy me anything. I tried to turn around and put everything back, but for someone so small, Alice really could put up a fight when she is determined to do something. And boy, trust me, that is an understatement.

"Alice, you really shouldn't have bought all of this for me." I pleaded as we left the mall and headed for the silver Volvo that we borrowed from Edward. "We can still take it back."

"Don't you even start, Mary." Alice gave me another dark look at my incisiveness. "Besides, you're family now and you can't keep wearing my clothes."

I shut up, taken aback. _You're family now._ It was something I didn't expect to hear. There was one thing I was sure of; I surely didn't consider myself to be a part of their family. I was nothing compared to them. Nothing compared to their beauty, nothing compared to their status, and nothing compared to their wealth.

Much less the fact that I feel as if I had outstayed my welcome. Besides, I had only been here two weeks with the Cullens; I didn't expect them to take so well to me; neither the other way around.

Alice saw the look on my face and read my mind; she reached over and grasped my hand reassuringly. "You are family, Mary. No matter how short of time we have known each other; I feel like I've known you forever." Alice smiled, trying to get me to return one.

The one I managed was less than satisfactory.

And with that, even though I didn't know him, and even if I wasn't sure it was true; my mind went back to the man in the photograph. I didn't mean to say it out loud. "Not everyone wants me here, do they?"

Alice made my eyes hold to hers when she answered me. "You need to trust me, Mary." She was being very firm, and very sure of herself. "I think that Emmett wants you here, more than you know. Possibly more than any of us."

"I'm the reason he left." Alice never told me that, but I was clever enough to derive that from the moment she said that he had left the day I arrived.

Alice didn't argue with me. Instead she gave my hand a reassuring squeeze and started the car. "He'll come back. I know he will."

While she was very certain with herself, I didn't speak the whole way back to their home. I just watched the passing gray clouds in silence; thinking of everything I had learned today. Emmett saved me, and even still I drove him away. The Cullens had been so kind to me; even when their own son abandoned them, and even when I was the reason. A lump had formed in my throat, and it wasn't just because of being grateful at their compassion and hospitality; but of sorrow and emptiness.

The Cullens may have wanted me to be a part of their family, but I knew in my heart that I would never stop feeling like an outsider, like I don't belong. No amount of time, love, and girlish shopping trips were ever going to change that.

There was something about these people, something I couldn't quite put my finger on; but it was keeping me from feeling at ease with them, it was keeping me from being a true part of them and their family. Alice could pretend all that she could; but there was no ignoring the elephant in the room. I didn't belong with them.


	5. Chapter Five

I Write Sins, Not Tragedies

Chapter Five: Fee Fye Fo Fum

This was no ordinary dream. I was standing here in the middle of a dark forest, facing the back of a vaguely familiar man; Emmett. He wasn't saying anything, but he was angry. That was only obvious by the shaking of his broad figure, and the faint lines around his the knuckles of his tightly clinched fist. There was a feeling inside me, and it wasn't fear. For some unexplainable reason, I moved forward, placing my hand onto his large arm in an effort to comfort him. This startled him, he wheeled on me; too fast for me to see. I was shocked by the movement, but it was the ravenous hunger in his red eyes that startled me awake.

There was a sheen of sweat that covered my body, and I was still seeing those hungry red eyes floating around in the empty, dark spaces of the room. I wiped some of the wetness from my face with my shaking hands and sighed; "I need to get a grip."

I took a moment to calm myself down, and looked around the room. The buttercream walls did let of a light glow in the dark, providing me with a bright enough focal point to awaken myself. I took a few steady breaths and slipped on my house shoes for a brief exit to the bathroom.

I took a look in the mirror; my pale skin stuck out against the dark circles and my green-hazel eyes, it was especially stark against my nearly black hair that I wore at my collarbones in gentle (slightly frizzy) curls. I turned on the sink to the coldest temperature and cupped my hands capturing some of the water in them. Holding my breath, I splashed the water all over my face, jolting the remaining of my groggy body awake. I opened the medicine cabinet and to kill some time and distract myself, pulled out my toothbrush and began scrubbing away at my teeth.

After I ran out of things to do in the bathroom, I emerged, heading downstairs for the study. This time, I had become used to awakening in the middle of the night, and wasn't stupid enough to try jumping the stairs.

Edward was there, too, when I had reached the study; he was hovering over some sheet music with a pencil, inspired. He didn't even look up when he spoke; "Can't sleep?"

I sighed and answered sarcastically. "Do I ever?" I strolled around the brown leather sectional and towards the furthest book shelf, in search of a good read. I had settled on the latest historical romance bestseller and threw myself onto the sofa, sitting cross legged in the corner next to Edward.

I opened the book, and did make an effort to read, but my eyes refused to focus on the words. I sighed and looked up at Edward. "I've never heard you play." I noted, "Are you actually any good, or are you just one of those wannabe's?"

Edward looked up, his classic crooked smile on his lips. When he spoke, he used the nickname he had derived from my middle name Louise. "Louie, do I strike you as the type who has to be a wannabe?" His voice was leaking with confidence.

"Touché." I muttered. Edward did have an ease at everything he did. "Will you play something for me?"

Edward beamed again, dazzling me. "I have something in the works; but you'll just have to wait like everyone else. You don't get an exclusive preview, Louie. You aren't that special."

I stuck my tongue out at him like a defiant two-year-old.

"Real mature." Edward laughed, his yellow eyes were alight with humor. "Isn't it your bed time?" He made a face, "Aww, did you have a bad dweam?"

I slapped his arm irritably, and it really did hurt. "Shut-up, jackass."

Edward was serious now, and when he spoke it was as if he knew what had been bothering my mind the last few days. "It isn't your fault, you know…about Emmett."

I dejected my gaze and for once in a blue moon was silent; keeping my thoughts to myself.

Edward did all the talking. "It wasn't anything personal; he didn't leave because of you."

"Can we not talk about this, Edward, please?" I pleaded, "I really don't want to think about this anymore." For a moment, I felt nothing but heartbreak.

Edward paused, and I could feel an air of sympathy and knowing between us. I was glad that he didn't say anything. Instead he placed a kiss on the top of my head, and stood up offering me his hand, inclining his head to the piano in the adjacent room with a wink. "Come on, I'll give you a preview."

-x-x-x-x-x-

Okay, this may make me sound like a creeper, but there are just sometimes I cannot swallow my own curiosity. So naturally when all of the Cullens had left me alone in the house the following day; I was going to explore around a little bit. I had been everywhere downstairs, in the basement, my room, and the bathroom; but I craved to know more.

The attic was first; mostly because it was the single place in this house I was most afraid of (I am deathly afraid of spiders). It was dark and wooden, but clean. I was amazed at how many antiques and artifacts were kept in neat order; it reminded me of a museum. Seeing as I was so clumsy, I figured it was best to explore around a room that didn't have so many expensive breakables.

Down the attic stairs, I decided to enter the first room I came to; it didn't have a bed, instead the walls were littered with shelves upon shelves of books and cd's and journals. There were stacks of handwritten journals all over the floors, and artwork on the walls. There was a lounge sofa and an armchair in the room. It was modern, yet cozy.

The room that followed that one was a closet, it only held dressers and racks of women's clothes and shoes; the room that followed that was of the same sort, but for that of men. No doubt that was Alice's doing.

Next was Carlisle's office. It was grand with lots of leather-bound books, mahogany shelves, and chocolate leather. There were photographs and paintings on the walls, but it had a very formal and executive feel to the place. I strolled along the shelves and read some titles of medical journals before I exited that room; heading for the next.

Alice and Jasper's room was cozy and bright; it was kept neat and organized. It looked like it was rarely ever used. Rosalie's room and Carlisle and Esme's room followed in the same fashion.

It was the furthest door down the hall, past mine. My heart gave a jolt and began racing at the excitement; this must have been his room, this was where he slept. My hand was shaking as I gripped the doorknob, turning it. I took my time pushing open the door.

The room looked a lot like Edward's except that it had a full size bed in the middle. There weren't much music in the room; but there were tons of books, video games, and comic books of every variety. I could tell that he liked cars and manly stuff just by looking around. It was all very exciting to me; seeing where he lived, his man cave.

There was a journal on the bedside table, and it was opened. I knew I shouldn't have done it, but I walked over with every intention on seeing into the mind of the man I secretly admired. I could hear my heart beat in my ears, nervous and excited. Whatever was written was going to be in his pen, his own words.

Just as I had bent down to pick the leather book up, I nearly jumped out of my skin at a silky, husky voice. It was angry. "What do you think you are doing?"

I wheeled around, and there was Emmett Cullen in the flesh.


	6. Chapter Six

**Figured I'd give you guys a short little treat before bed. Please leave a review, it keeps me going.**

I Write Sins, Not Tragedies

Chapter Six: I didn't kiss him, he kissed me!

I stood there, dumbfounded and startled. Emmett was still standing here in the doorway, eyes narrowed and arms crossed, glaring down at me. I was jittery and unsure of what to say. I didn't meet his eyes for longer than two seconds; "I … um… I …. I was just…."

"Invading people's privacy." Emmett finished. After a moment, he strode forward, snatching the book from the table, and stuffing it in his large hands, away from my sight. Emmett was standing only inches from me now, he towered over a foot taller than myself looking down at me; I could tell that something in his oddly bright yellow eyes had softened when they met mine.

I blinked furiously and looked away from him as my heart thudded furiously. I could barely hear myself speak over the drumming in my ears; "I …. I … I was just leaving, I'm sorry.." I maneuvered around him, but his hand caught my wrist before I could make my escape.

"Is that the thanks I get for saving your life?"

"And leaving." I reminded. "Yeah, you deserve a metal." I could tell that my voice leaked more of my feeling and emotions towards him than it should have; and my bitterness was unmistakable. I wasn't just angry for myself, this was much bigger than that. I wrenched my wrists out of his grasped and bounded out of the room, not pausing to look back.

I didn't head for my room; I wasn't going to resign and cower into solitude. I wasn't going to give him the satisfaction. Instead, I headed downstairs to cook me up a bite to eat. Now that I had actually seen Emmett in person I could say this; even though he is indeed as beautiful as I had hoped, I have discovered that I am not obsessively infatuated with him as I believed I was.

This was a plus for me, because now I had felt much less hindered. That was until Emmett decided to follow me downstairs. Ignoring manners and the fact that I was too embarrassed about being caught snooping to be around him. All anger was gone from his face and demeanor now, and he had melted to a mask of easy-going humor.

He just stood there in the entry way of the kitchen, watching me as I made me a quick bowl of pasta. For the first several minutes, I ignored him; hoping that he would get bored and eventually leave. When he didn't I made an irritated noise and rolled my eyes, "Do you mind? I kind of don't like people watching me while I eat."

Emmett shrugged and pulled out a chair, sitting his masculine form close to me, a teasing smirk dancing on his lips. "I don't mind at all, actually. It isn't any different than your snooping through other people's belongings."

I stabbed the noodles with a little more force than was necessary. "What do you want?"

Emmett grinned, and my insides twitched, he really was the most beautiful in the family, and had the ability to stop my thoughts were they lie. "What I want is a proper thank you."

I scoffed, "Well you aren't getting one here. You might have saved my life, but you abandoned your family; that makes you both an asshole and coward. I don't think much of you, Emmett Cullen."

Even though I was being dead serious, he laughed. That only pissed me off even more. Emmett continued to watch me as I ate, only moving once I had stood up. "Oh so now you're following me?"

"Yeah." Emmett said plainly. "Until I get that Thank You."

I placed my dishes in the sink and wheeled on him, "What the hell are you expecting? A prize?"

There was a smile playing on his lips as he approached, it was both mocking and playful. Emmett carefully, as if not to break me, placed one of his hands on my waist and the other against my cheek. My mind was rolling with hatred, but my heart was stirring with anticipation. Slowly and gently, his cold wet lips found their way to mind; moving against them in a feather-light way. Teasing. I felt a lack of oxygen going to my brain because I had frozen stiff and stopped breathing.

Did Emmett Cullen just kiss me? Yes. Yes, he did.

I tried to make my voice sound convincing, but it was clear I was lying through my teeth. "Get the hell away from me, you freak!" I will admit only to you, that I didn't really try to push him away as hard as I could have, but it wouldn't have made a real difference anyway.

Instead of listening to my less the convincing command, Emmett kissed me deeper and with more urgency and passion than before. This wasn't a feeling I was used to; the way his lips were moving against mine. Despite how bad I really wanted to, I refused to give in to my animalistic instinct to kiss him back; because that would have given him too much satisfaction. It sent strange sensations through my body; my blood was boiling and I wanted him closer to me; I wanted more.

"Emmett's back." Edward's cool voice startled us apart. He was standing there next to a gleeful Alice, smirking devilishly as if he could read my mind. Rosalie gave me a knowing wink when she strode in, her instincts picking up on the scene. Jasper snickered at me, and Esme tried to hold back a satisfied smile.

Emmett was beaming, but he tried to hide his joy.

I don't think I have ever turned so red in my entire life. I wheeled on Emmett, and with everything I could muster, punched him full in the face. I cracking sound and sharp pain had shot through my hand, but my mind was elsewhere; "You filthy asshole!"

Satisfied with my outburst, I stomped up the stairs and to the bathroom to take care of my founded hand; thoroughly embarrassed and confused.

I was just kissed by Emmett Cullen. No, not kissed, attacked was more like it. I still felt the tingling in my lips, as if his were still pressed against mine. Did I say to you that I wasn't totally infatuated with Emmett Cullen?

Yeah, well, about that; I lied. I really really lied.

I don't believe in happy endings, fantasy, or fairytale; but in that moment with Emmett, I felt something that I had never known existed. Sadly, it was only the start.


	7. Chapter Seven

I Write Sins, Not Tragedies

Chapter Seven: A Fork In The Road

Jasper glanced back at me from the rear view mirror of his black Mercedes Benz, yellow eyes teasing. "So, Louie; you and Emmett?" Edward joined him in light laughter. I was spending a day with the Cullen kids, hitting all the best coffee and book shops and just relaxing enjoying ourselves. To my irritation, this also included Emmett. There was a stroke of luck that we had to take separate cars because there were so many of us.

I shot daggers back at them both. "Go shove it; both of you."

Rosalie agreed; "Seriously guys, grow up. In case you forgot, I didn't exactly see her kissing him back." Her words were in my favor; but her expression matched her bothers'. All three of them laughed; sharing humor at my expense.

"Gee, thanks Rose." I rolled my eyes and crossed my arms; suddenly intent on the outside surroundings. It was embarrassing enough that they had all seen what had taken place, but they didn't have to tease me endlessly about it.

"You know," Edward mused, "We could always pull over; I'm sure Emmett will give you a lift."

"Ha ha, Edward. Kiss my ass." Turns out, I had broken my hand when I punched Emmett the day before; and it was beginning to throb the more irritated I became with them.

"OoOo, she bites back." Jasper replied.

"Are we there yet?"

"Why, getting annoyed?"

"Yes," Jasper answered Edward's question for me with a mischievous grin, "Can't you tell?"

I growled a little in frustration; I had had enough. "Stop the damn car!" I had opened the door before they car had pulled to the right shoulder of the two lane road; I hadn't been wearing a seat belt, so my exit was hasty.

"Where are you going?" Rosalie asked after me confused, poking her beautiful blonde locks out of the door I had left open. A few passing cars of college men honked at her excitedly, yelling pickup lines out the window. Rosalie ignored them, "Come on Lou, get back in the car; they'll leave you alone."

I ignored her, and kept walking. I was stubborn, and although I didn't know where we were going, I refused to turn around and look. Jasper kept my pace easily as they drove right next to me. "No thank you." I said curtly, "I'd rather walk."

Edward took one glace in the side mirror and nudged his bother forward devilishly. "Fine, Louie; suit yourself." With that, Edward rolled up the window and Jasper drove so that he was kept about a hundred feet in front of me; not letting me out of their sight. I let out a sigh of relief; at least I wouldn't have to listen to it anymore.

_Honk. Honk._

Mentally I cursed, knowing all too well exactly why Edward and Jasper were having such an easy laugh leaving me on the side of the road. A large red Jeep Wrangler pulled up next to me; it was set high on monster-truck wheels, the top down and all doors missing. From the driver seat Emmett grinned at me. "Well hello there, miss. Need a ride?"

I didn't even look over; not giving him the time of day. I just kept my pace as if I hadn't even noticed his appearance. I could see him shaking with silent laughter at my stubborn, headstrong attitude. I glared viciously towards the back of the black Mercedes; only able to imagine Edward, Jasper, and Rosalie in stitches at the scene.

"I'm not going to leave you here, Louie." A shot of anger boiled through me when he had called me by the nickname the Cullens had all adopted for me; I really hated the fact that Emmett had begun to use it as well.

"It's Mary to you."

Emmett continued, a playful grin still dancing along his lips. Clearly he was glad that he had gotten me to speak. Mentally I cursed myself for not holding my tongue like I had intended to. "Carlisle and Esme would be pissed if they knew I had left you to walk the whole way."

I ignored him, and kept walking. I didn't care how childish I was being. There was no way in hell I was giving in and letting everyone have another joke on me. Just because I was completely and totally crushing on Emmett, didn't mean I had to let anyone else see it.

"If you don't get in on your own," Emmett continued in a silky voice, "I'm just going to come over and pull you in. We can do it the easy way, or the hard way."

"Don't you have anything better to do?" I asked irritably, "Or do you plan on wasting your life simply to get under my skin?"

Emmett shrugged nonchalantly. "I've got all the time in the world; you can play hard to get for as long as you'd like, Mary Louise Renner, but eventually you won't be able to resist me."

I laughed sarcastically; little did he know, I was already putty in his pale muscular hands. "Aren't you Mr. Humble. Do you really think you can just show up here out of nowhere and seduce a girl that you know nothing about?"

"Yes."

"Well," I continued. "You're wrong. I'm not like other girls, Emmett. I don't crush on guys simply because they out-of-this-world beautiful. And quite frankly; you don't have anything else to offer than that, so if you are looking to make me fall for you, give up now."

"You don't know me." Emmett pointed out plainly, my words had stung him as an insult, but he didn't care to let me see that. "I am not what you think I am, Lou." He paused before speaking again with an irritated sigh, "At least get in the car; I don't expect you to give me anything else. I just don't want you to walk."

I sighed, my feet really did hurt; as Alice had stuck me in heels today, insisting that they matched my white and yellow floral sundress perfectly. As if he could sense that I had given in, he brought the Jeep to a stop, allowing me to climb in with some necessary effort. When I had situated in my seat, Emmett grinned triumphantly; opening his mouth to speak.

"Don't. Say. A. Word."

He closed his ajar mouth immediately, leaning over me and fastening the complicated seat restraints, being very careful not to touch my skin. The fact that he was so close to me, and his face less than an inch from mine, sent my heart to the Olympics; I held my breath as if that would make it better.

Once he was satisfied that I was firmly secure in the seat, probably to ensure that I wasn't able to make a break for it, Emmett drove forward, catching up to the Mercedes effortlessly. I refused to look into the car, knowing that seeing Edward and Jasper howling with laughter would send me into a fit of rage.

I really didn't want to face them three at all right now, or any time today. I swallowed hard before I dared speak to Emmett, fearing that he would take my request the wrong way entirely. "Hey, Emmett?" My voice was quiet and vulnerable, it took him by surprise.

His eyes were wide and careful, clearly taken aback by my lack of attitude. "Yeah?" Emmett didn't take his eyes off the road to answer me; being cautious.

"Can we…not be around the others today?"

"What?" Emmett whipped his head to look at me, amazed at my question. "You mean, go somewhere alone with me?"

I couldn't believe I was asking this. "Yeah."

Emmett kept following Jasper for a few more moments, pondering it over. It looked as if here were fighting something in his mind, though I didn't think too much into it. Once he was able, he turned onto a side street and headed for the edge of town. Jasper didn't turn around to follow.

I didn't ask where we were going, because I didn't care. I had felt better knowing that I didn't have to hear the endless teasing of the rest of the Cullens, but even more scary and though I would have never of admitted it if I had been asked; I had felt safe with Emmett.


	8. Chapter Eight

**Please Note: I don't know if I am going to keep updating this story, as I haven't gotten many reviews at all for how hard I have been trying. It just simply isn't worth my time. If you still want me to continue this story; please let me know. Otherwise, this is it.**

I Write Sins, Not Tragedies

Chapter Eight: A Place Between Us

I don't even think that Emmett knew where to go, he had been taken so off guard with my request. Hell, even I was surprised at myself. We just rode in silence, rode for miles. The lack of conversation was beginning to get awkward, so I bent over and flipped on the radio; turning it up as loud as it would go. It was one of my favorite songs that was beginning to sound through the speakers.

_Never made it as a wise man__  
><em>_I couldn't cut it as a poor man stealing__  
><em>_Tired of living like a blind man__  
><em>_I'm sick of sight without a sense of feeling__  
><em>_And this is how you remind me__  
><em>_This is how you remind me__  
><em>_Of what I really am__  
><em>_This is how you remind me__  
><em>_Of what I really am_

Emmett chuckled darkly. It was the first sound he had made since we went off on our own. I was almost offended by it. "What? You don't like this song?"

Emmett shook his head, shaking whatever thoughts he had on his mind. "No, it isn't that."

"Then share." I reminded him in a sing-song voice, "Secrets don't make friends."

Emmett let out another dark laugh, "It's just ironic is all. The lyrics." I was thoroughly confused by that; as I didn't see anything ironic about it. I went back to ignoring him, staring outside my side of the car, wishing it were sunny. I had begun to hum the words quietly.

Emmett, however, surprised me by full on belting out the words. It was clear that he wasn't being serious about it; only doing so to win a smile out of me. Sadly; it was working. There was an undeniable tugging at the corners of my pink lips. Emmett could see it too; answering by singing even louder. "Come on, Lou. Show me how it's done, don't be shy; live a little."

I couldn't resist anymore; I full out grinned, joining in on the next line of the song. For once in the entire time I had been with the Cullen family; I had begun to genuinely feel light and happy. We were totally off key, and singing obnoxiously louder than the radio could manage to reach, but I didn't care. A few cars passed us by, stared, and laughed.

Yes, people, I see you laughing at me and Emmett totally jamming out in his car; and no, I do not care. Eventually, though, the song faded out and I was out of breath but still smiling. Emmett's eyes held some emotion that I couldn't fathom, and his returning smile was one of a soft fondness. "That is the first time I've seen you laugh, Mary."

I blushed, dejecting my eyes. Even if it were only for a moment, Emmett Cullen had torn down my walls like a wrecking ball. I still could erase the smile from my face; whatever I was feeling with one hundred percent real and unlike anything I had ever felt before.

"You should do it more often, Louie. You have a beautiful smile." Emmett didn't look at me as he said that; his eye focused only on the winding dirt road he had just made a turn for.

Although he could get under my skin like no other; there was something about Emmett that made him irresistible, and it was those last moments that showed me that. I didn't want those few minutes to end; they were bliss to my soul. "Where are we going?" I finally asked.

Emmett shrugged; "I have somewhere in mind, but it's a surprise."

"Do you often bring girls here?" I asked teasingly.

"No." Emmett answered honestly. "It's usually my alone spot, where I go to get away from it all. I'm only taking you there if you pinky promise to keep it a secret." He held out his right pinky; mine was barely able to wrap around it when I answered with an excited smile.

"Pinky promise."

It was a minute or two before we had stopped the car, and Emmett walked around to help me out as the drop to the ground was taller than I was. Emmett gently placed his hands strongly under my shoulders, carefully lifting me out of the seat and placing my small feel firmly on the ground. "Down you go."

"Why thank you, kind sir." I grinned, "Now if you plan to keep up in your gentlemanly ways; lead the way, Emmett Cullen." I gestured with my hands for him to step in front; but instead he took my hand in his. I pulled it away; still uncomfortable with the way his touch made my insides feel. Emmett didn't look too offended.

"Stay close." Before I could even lift my head to follow; he was nearly out of my sight.

"Hey, wait up." I called out to his retreating figure as I took off in his direction, his only answer was a booming laugh. I would have been able to keep pace if I hadn't been wearing five inch pumps, the yellow patent leather was ripping away at the side of my feet, causing me a lot of pain with each step I took.

When I had finally reached Emmett, he looked down at me, a teasing smile played on his lips. "Do you need me to carry you?"

"No." I answered, but I took off my shoes, handing them to him, "But you can carry these." I had begun to walk forward, thinking he was going to keep walking; instead I heard a growl as I was hoisted off the ground and placed on his shoulders.

"Why do you have to be so stubborn, Louie?" Emmett asked, "You know that eventually I am going to get my way."

"So you may think." He and I both knew he wasn't simply referring to carrying me the distance to his super-secret hide out. "But you're wrong. I'm a tough nut to crack."

He thought back to the car ride and how easily he had my guard down. "Right. Really tough."

Just then I had felt the sun creep through the clouds as a ray of warmth touched my face; looking down I had seen a shimmer of light radiating off Emmett's pale skin. Curious. "Emmett?"

His voice was strained and nervous. "Yeah?"

"Why are you wearing glitter?" I asked him, just as the sun crept back behind a gray cloud; wiping away all evidence of my case.

I could feel Emmett let out a breath of relief; his laugh was a little too forced. "Mary, I think you may need some sleep; you're beginning to hallucinate." Perhaps Emmett was right, I hadn't been sleeping the best; however, I knew what I had seen.

There was something peculiar about him, Emmett Cullen, and he was getting even more so by the moment. I was determined; I knew that he was hiding something from me, and I was going to be sure to do whatever it takes to get the truth out of him.

I would not be played by Emmett Cullen, not matter my feelings.


	9. Chapter Nine

I Write Sins, Not Tragedies

Chapter Nine: Las Vegas Lights

Emmett had carried me the entire hike, never once giving me a hint as to where we were going. I had dropped the whole 'sparkle in the sunlight' thing; figuring it simply chalked up to my imagination, and like Emmett said, my lack of sleep. Besides, how insane does that sound?

Finally Emmett set me down; we had arrived somewhere in the middle of the woods, tall trees enclosed us in the small clearing, Emmett had set me down on a rock that sat directly in the center. "Here you go, seclusion." Emmett beamed proudly at me.

"Wow." I looked all around me in amazement. It had a beauty that was entirely of its own breed. The air was crisp and clean; the dew sparkled off the leaves of the trees. "Emmett, this place is amazing."

Emmett laid down beside me, with a shy sidewards smile; "Thanks, Lou. I'm glad you like it." It was really strange seeing him like this; nervous.

"How on earth did you find this place?" I was still putting an effort to take it all in.

Emmett shrugged. "I spend a lot of time outside."

"I'll say."

"So." Emmett began, that famous smile back on his face, "Is this our place?"

There was more to his words than for me to simply keep his hide out a secret. However, there was something in his eyes that was difficult to resist. "I don't know…"

Emmett didn't take it as a rejection. His was tracing patterns on my yellow cast, his mood still light. I couldn't help but to really look at him; he was so much more beautiful than I had paid attention to before. The way his body moved, the way his muscles contracted fluidly. I loved the way the lights danced in his yellow eyes and his pearly teeth flashed playfully. Gently Emmett lifted my broken hand, bringing it to his lips with a gentle kiss; "Don't try and hit me again, Mary; at least not with your hands."

A laughed a little, I couldn't help it. "I'll try to resist." If only he knew how honestly irresistible he was to me in those little moments. If he were to have kissed me right then; I would have eagerly went all the way with him. Mentally, my mind went back to the one thing about him that had gotten under my skin, I was unable to stop myself before I had asked. "Why did you leave?"

I half expected him to get angry with me, or to become hard and defensive. Emmett, however, surprised me by softening his voice; he was being sincere, possibly the most he had ever been with me. "I didn't want to hurt you, Mary."

I was confused, but when I had opened my mouth to ask questions, he interrupted me. "Please, Mary. I know you want to ask; but you have to trust that I can't tell you all that I want to right now. Please."

I was uncertain, but strangely trusting. I swallowed my questions anyway. I sighed my mind drifting elsewhere; to those promising Los Angeles beaches I had so looked forward to spending my summer on. Emmett sensed my change in mind and let out a breath; "What are you thinking about?" He eventually asked me.

I answered him honestly; I didn't meet his smoldering yellow eyes afraid that they would reveal too much sadness. "My summer vacation. My mom and I were on our was to L.A. I was really looking forward to it is all."

Emmett was quiet for a moment. Pondering. It was then that his wrenched a silver cell phone out of his pants pocket and dialed. A few rings later, there was a voice on the other end. "Yeah, Edward; everything's fine. I just called to say that Mary and I won't be home for a few days, I'm taking her on the trip of a lifetime," Emmett paused to give my shocked face a reassuring wink. "Oh shut it, Edward it isn't like that… Yeah … Uh-huh … I know… Alright… You to … Bye."

"A trip?" I asked as soon as he closed the phone, "I wasn't aware that I agreed to it."

"You didn't." Emmett answered plainly, "You asked for one."

"The hell I did!" My attitude was back; it was nice to recognize a sliver of me again.

Emmett ignored me, "Come on, we better hit the road if we want to get there by nightfall."

"Where are we even going? We can't get to Los Angeles by night." I complained snottily.

"That's because we aren't going to L.A., smarty." Emmett answered, "We are going to Las Vegas."

I looked at him skeptically. That was even further of a drive than L.A, but I dropped that suddenly remembering something. "What about my clothes. I can't go wearing this for a 'few days'." I gave a pathetic attempt to mock his voice at the end.

Emmett ignored my harsh demeanor and hoisted me off the ground; his answer to all my problems was simple, "Alice will know where to send them.

"This was a really stupid idea, Emmett." I complained. Much to both my horror and surprise, we had reached the grand city of Las Vegas within a few hours; Emmett had already booked a hotel room, and Alice had already shipped our necessities. "What on earth made you think I would want to be stuck in the city of sins with you."

Emmett's laughter boomed through the hallway of the hotel as he slid the key in. He was carrying our bags over his shoulder effortlessly. "Because, Lou, you find me irresistible."

"Ha. Hilarious." I rolled my eyes as we entered the room. My eyes widened at the sight. Right in the middle of the small room, there was my worst nightmare. "One bed?"

Emmett made a seductive purring sound that made my insides curl.

"Yeah, you'll be enjoying that tons when you're sleeping on the floor."

Emmett immediately set our bags down, grabbed my wrist and pulled me out the door excitedly. "Hey, wait! Where are we going?"

Emmett answered teasingly, "You need something to make you lighten up a little."

I gasped, shocked and appalled by what he was implying. "Emmett Cullen, don't you dare get it into your head that I'll be drinking." After seven tall one's my tone changed completely.

There wasn't much that I remembered that night. In fact, what I had just told you is really all I had remembered except for the three words that I was going to pay for eternity.

We were sitting in a cab, on our way back just before sunrise. I was beyond wasted and probably delusional. The only three words that escaped my lips were these: "Marry me, Emmett."


	10. Chapter Ten

I Write Sins, Not Tragedies

Chapter Ten: Waking Up In Vegas

I groaned as a sudden burst of muffled morning light ran through my eyelids. My head was throbbing and there was a ringing inside of my ears. I felt absolutely terrible; clearly there was no denying that I was hung-over from the night previous. I struggled to open my eyes, and even when I did, it took me a moment to register my surroundings. I was back in the hotel room, tucked into the bed sheets tightly. I had felt a sudden jolt of nausea and clumsily pulled away the covers; making a bolt for the bathroom where my insides promptly fell out. I groaned miserably.

Word of advice: Don't drink. Ever.

There was a silky chuckle from the doorway; "Yeah, it will do that to you." I turned around to see him leaning casually handsome against the door frame; smiling bemusedly at me. The nerves of being in his presence made the nausea give a little kick again; I brought my left hand to my mouth cautiously preparing myself. That is when I noticed it. My eyes widened with shock and confusion at first; I looked up at him, begging to hear that this was just a joke.

Emmett grinned devilishly and shrugged; "Only the best for the new Mrs. Cullen." On my left hand ring finger had to have been, if I dare admit it, the most beautiful diamond ring I had ever seen; it wasn't one of those stupid vending matching beauts that most people receive at these shot gun weddings. Clearly, Emmett had gone out of his way to spend this much on me short notice, and clearly had given it a lot of thought. It was almost enough to ease my irritation. Almost.

"You're lying." I was clearly in denial. There was just no way that I was going to believe that I was legally married to Emmett Cullen; after only knowing him a few days. "We aren't really married. This is just some sort of sick joke you are playing on me. Best give it up before you really piss me off, Emmett."

Emmett sighed, though there was nothing melancholy in his voice when he sat down next to me, taking my newly dressed hand inside of his; "Afraid not, doll face. It's you and me now." Emmett placed a teasing peck on my cheek at smiled broadly; and once again, just like any other time we touched, my heart rate increased to a speed demon rate.

Which brought something to my mind that scared the shit out of me. "Oh my god!"

Emmett seemed genuinely alarmed at my sudden panic. "What's wrong?"

I stood up, pacing the small bathroom nervously. "Oh my god, Oh my god!" I stopped in front of him; looking down into his yellow eyes, terrified. "Emmett …. Did we …. Did we …. You know …. Have … Sex?"

His answer shot a pain of pure rage, and another similar pain of nausea through my entire weak body. "Naturally." I made a play for the hairdryer; all intent on murdering him with it. Emmett chuckled, grabbing from my grasp carefully. "Easy, Mary; it was a joke. You actually passed out before we even made it out of the elevator." I let out a sigh of relief and he continued. "Besides, I kind of prefer you to be awake when that happens."

I almost let a blush flood into my cheeks at what he implied in the last sentence; but stopped myself and those damn hormones. No Mary, you cannot have sex with Emmett Cullen. No Mary, no matter how badly your body wants to. I began to imagine things in my mind; our bodies meshed together, his cold lips trailing all over me, feeling his groin hard against me just before he made entry. I forced myself to speak before my mind got too carried away. "Good. We can fix this, then."

Emmett raised an eyebrow, surprised. "How's that?"

"Divorce." I answered him with that duh tone as if the answer were obvious from the start.

Emmett shook his head. His eyes and tone were teasing but honest. "I don't believe in divorce, Mary. Besides, I don't want one." He stared at the look of shock on my face at his denial.

"You don't want…" I snapped back to life with a jolt as his words sat in, "Emmett, you are an idiot."

"I love you." He interjected.

"You don't even know me."

"Doesn't matter, I don't need to."

"I'll kill you."

"I'll take my chances." There was honestly no shaking him. Emmett was set on his argument and didn't care to change his mind; he was completely calm about the entire situation as if marrying a total stranger (well, we live together so not completely total) was perfectly A-Okay. Emmett strode forward, noticing how sad and helpless I suddenly became. "I do mean it, Mary. I love you. I love everything about you. Everything you are; you are such a contradiction and it drives me crazy. In a good way." I looked up at him, completely vulnerable. Tears had started to form in my eyes as everything had set in, tears that I didn't want him to see. Emmett wiped his finger across my cheek gently as one escaped. "One moment you are completely innocent and vulnerable, and the next you are fiery and unpredictable. Sometimes you are even meaner than a dog shitting tacks, but hey, it makes you perfect. Trust me, Mary, I do love you. I really do."

Emmett pulled me in; enclosing my fragile body in a loving embrace. It was then that I had known everything he had just said to be true, and I believed him. While my face was hidden from his sight, I let a few more tears escape. He spoke again. "Give this a chance, Mary. I wouldn't have married you if I didn't truly believe we were meant for each other. I know you are angry and scared, but I will make this work; you won't have to do anything." He placed a kiss on the top of my messy black bed head, "I promise you."

I gave myself a few moments to gain composure; letting each of his gentle words sink into my mind and memory. What was this warm feeling that was creeping all over my body? Was it possible, that after only a few days, I loved Emmett back?

After everything he had said, I can honestly say that I hated him a little less. It was clear that he was being honest and sincere, pouring his heart out into my hands.

After all, he wasn't the one wasted last night. And yet, he still agreed to marry me. Was it possible that he knew exactly what he was doing and what he was getting into?

After seeing that I was okay again, Emmett took my hand and carefully led me into the other room; trying to take my mind off of everything. "Come on, let's watch some television."

I nodded and came quietly; still numb and unsure of everything.


	11. Chapter Eleven

I Write Sins, Not Tragedies

Chapter Eleven: Six Inch Yellow Lilies

I held up a finger to Edward as Emmett and I strode in the door back at the Cullen home in Portland. Edward was grinning, and I didn't have to be a mind reader to know exactly what he was thinking. "Not. A. Word."

Edward raised his hands in defense. "Okay, okay. Easy there tiger. I was just eager to greet my new sister-in-law, calm down." Edward's crooked smile beamed a little brighter at that last sentence.

I didn't have a chance to give him a smart answer. Alice was in front of me two seconds later, arms crossed and looking absolutely livid. "You!" Alice pointed a bitterly furious finger in my direction. Uh-oh. "How could you do this to me, Mary?"

I was honestly confused. "I…uh…don't know." I furrowed my eyebrows out of habit at the last part. I couldn't think of anything that I had done to personally hurt her.

"I mean," Alice looked as if she were about to cry. I felt a twinge of guilt that I wasn't aware I had. "I knew you and Emmett were eventually going to get married but…well…I wanted to plan everything. I saw it all differently than this."

"I'm ….sorry?" I wasn't exactly sure how to answer her rambling.

Alice answered my by throwing her arms around me in a depressed embrace. "I had so many ideas that I know you would have loved."

I patted her back awkwardly, unsure of what to say. Jasper must have been able to sense my awkwardness, as he came forward and pried her hands from around me chuckling. "Well, congratulations."

I wasn't exactly sure why everyone was so entirely happy and calm about this. Most families who hear of their loved one's Vegas Matrimonies are far less than accepting. The Cullen family seemed to have seen it coming. Esme and Carlisle came forward, and Alice's arms were soon replaced by the maternal ones of Esme.

Carlisle smiled fondly; "It is nice to have you as a member of our family, officially."

I smiled back, a little half heartedly.

"However," Carlisle continued, glancing at Emmett who stood in the doorway. The expression on his face seemed like he knew that he was in for some sort of reprimanding. "Emmett, I believe the rest of us need to have a word with you, if you don't mind."

Emmett nodded, not saying a word; he didn't meet my eyes as he strode silkily into the family room. Taking my que to leave, I strode up the stairs. Rude as it may have been; I took my time on each step trying to catch word of what they were saying. This was it that family drama I had felt like anyone normal should come home to in our situation.

Maybe they would talk some sense into him.

It wasn't until I was upstairs that I heard the risen voices of Emmett and Edward arguing.

"WE DON'T HAVE A CHOICE, EMMETT!" I heard Edward's usual silky voice bellow. "THIS CAN'T GO ON LIKE THIS! WE HAVE TO TELL HER WHAT SHE IS A PART OF! SHE HAS A RIGHT TO KNOW."

Emmett's booming voice was almost scary when he answered. "ABSOLUTELY NOT! I AM NOT GOING TO SIT BACK AND LET YOU DO THIS! IT ISN'T TIME!"

It was Rosalie that spoke this time; her angelic voice indifferent, the only emotion that shone through was that of reason. "Then when is the right time, huh Emmett? When she wakes up with a withered face and you haven't aged a day?"

"She isn't stupid." Alice reasoned desperately.

"I DIDN'T SAY SHE WAS, ALICE!" Emmett was absolutely furious. Vaguely I wondered if this is what had gone on when I was brought back here from the accident.

Alice remained calm, "I know that, Emmett. Just listen, please. I've been through all this already, I've seen everything. Keeping her in the dark any longer is only going to push her away."

It was Carlisle's words that sealed the deal and ended the argument. "Emmett, the choice is made. If you want to keep her around; we have to let her know."

Jasper asked, as if to finalize everything. "You do plan on keeping her around, do you not?"

The silence answered for him. The next thing I heard was the glass sliding door open and then slam shut. I walked over to the window, pulling back the ivory lace shades. Emmett was stalking off into the trees, smashing down everything in his path.

"Mary." Rosalie's voice startled me, I hadn't heard her enter the room.

"Yeah." I tried to slow my racing heartbeat.

"Could you please join us downstairs," Rosalie asked politely. "We have something we would like to tell you. It's important."

This was it; this was what Emmett had been keeping from me. I was about to be led into a world of his secrets. "Alright." I followed Rosalie down the hallway, and back down the stairs. The double French doors to the family room were ajar; and the rest of the Cullens sat waiting for me.

It was awkward having everyone's eyes on me as I took a seat and got comfortable; preparing myself for some sort of deadly secret. "So? What's up?" I paused before asking, "Where's Emmett?"

No one spoke for a moment; and I waited, looking at each of the Cullens individually.

It was Edward who spoke first, and he was very tentative with his words. "Mary, how much are you familiar with the supernatural?"

"Umm.." I thought a little, unsure of where this was going or what that had to do with anything. "I don't know, I guess that sort of depends. What kind of supernatural?"

"Vampires." Jasper said shortly.

I frowned, thinking. "Not much really. Well," Now that I remembered, "I did read Dracula freshman year. Does that count?"

"Sort of." Alice answered, kindly.

"Where is this going?" I asked, honestly confused. Why were we having a discussion on Classic Literary Fiction. Is this their idea of small talk, an attempt to ignore the elephant in the room.

"Mary, honey." Esme spoke carefully, unsure of the ground she was treading, "We, meaning all of us, are vampires."

I didn't want to be rude, or to call Esme a liar, but I couldn't help myself. "Ha. Right, and I'm the queen of England."

"Mary, it is the truth." Edward pressed, "And some of us are granted special gifts. Jasper," He pointed to him as if I didn't know who he was, "he can control emotional atmospheres. Alice," His finger moved to Alice, "she can see things before they happen." Alice grinned triumphantly at me. Edward finished, "And, Mary, I can…I can read minds."

My eyes darkened a little. Now there was something I could use to prove that this entire family was delusional. "Fine, Edward. Prove it. If you can correctly guess what I am thinking about, I'll take your word on everything."

Edward smiled. "Deal."

I thought of the most random, most impossible and least obvious thing that I could manage. I tried to think of something unlike me to think of, something that Edward couldn't have guessed out of pure luck.

"Lilies." Edward answered indifferent. "Six inch, yellow lilies."

I swore under my breath and Edward grinned devilishly.

"Well?" Carlisle asked, I jerked my head in his direction, jolted out of Edward and mine's little game. "Is there anything you want to know?"

I shook my head.

"Any questions you may have?"

Again, I shook my head.

"Anything at all that you want to say?"

"Just that, about all the vampire stuff, leave me out of it." It was the only thing that I could think of to say; the only way to express my feelings. "Keep it on a need to know basis."

"Diddo." Edward agreed easily. "Anything else?"

"Yeah." I hit me just then. "I don't want to be a vampire, no offence." The family shook their head, signaling me that I was fine in saying it. "So please, don't make me one."

Rosalie was the first to speak, almost before I had even stopped speaking. "Thank god!"

For a moment, her and I beamed at each other, it was the first real bond of friendship we shared, and it was the start of many.

Unknown and unseen to me then, was that distantly familiar totaled car that was parked along the driveway; watching for me, hungry for revenge.


	12. Chapter Twelve

I Write Sins, Not Tragedies

Chapter Twelve: Where Everything Changes

Emmett never really calmed down from that day he stormed off. In fact, when he returned home a few hours later, he wouldn't speak to me at all. I had met him at the door and opened my mouth to speak to him; but the furious look in his eyes shut me up fairly well.

I hadn't seen much of him since then; he spent most of the time cooped up all alone in his room. I would hear him roaming about the house, but when I would try to get up and go talk to him, he would bolt away from me without uttering a word. This shouldn't have bothered me, but it did. In fact, it hurt to know that he was ignoring me.

Rosalie placed a consoling hand on my arm on morning while we were watching television. I had walked in and sat next to Emmett, but he silently stood up and stalked upstairs. "He just needs time, Lou." Rosalie spoke it as a promise. "He isn't mad at you, he's mad at us."

I turned my head to look at her; my black curls caught the wind. "Then why won't he even sit in the same room as me?"

Rosalie smiled a little, more knowledge in her voice. "I didn't know that mattered to you, Mary." I glared at her, even though her assumptions were true. While I was constantly annoyed by Emmett, something in my heart cracked a little at the situation we were currently in. Rosalie spoke again, this time answering my question. "He is just embarrassed, maybe."

I raised an eyebrow skeptically at her failed attempt for an explanation. "Maybe?"

Rosalie shrugged indifferently. "It's the best I can do, Louie. After all, I'm not Jasper."

I turned my eyes back to the television, though my attention was elsewhere. "Fair enough." I knew though, that I wasn't going to let this whole thing settle with that epic fail of a conversation with my gorgeous sister-in-law, even if she was the one I had felt closest to. I was going to think of something to get Emmett's attention; silent or otherwise. I sighed, unable to focus on the blurring images on the television screen. I stood up and gave Rosalie an apologetic smile.

Rosalie was sympathetic; she knew exactly what I was up to and where my mind was. Before she spoke she gave my hand a reassuring squeeze. "Go for it."

With her permission I stalked up the stairs and towards the familiar tightly closed door that belonged to Emmett and his fortress. I didn't even bother to knock, walking in and joining him where he lounged on the bed, grabbing the gaming remotes on my way.

I dropped on controller on his lap; not even bothering to ask or to even look up to the puzzled and amazed expression on his pale face. "Put on Black Ops."

Emmett was caught off guard, "I…uh…" It was clear to him that I wasn't going to leave simply because he felt awkward with me in the room. "…alright…I guess..." Emmett stood up slowly and placed the game in the feed, setting up all the options and choosing his class. I held my chin high as I did the same, we didn't say a word.

I didn't mind the silence, I was just enjoying the proximity to him; at least he wasn't running away from me like I had the plague or something. I was playing a game I was always good at and Emmett was clearly trying to take it easy on me. Clearly a vampire with super skills could beat me in an instant; but it was as if he was taking his time as to keep me here with him. That thought brought a tug to my heart strings.

Even when he let me win, I played along pretending like I hadn't notice his gentlemanly behavior. After all, that would probably just have embarrassed him even more if I were to point it out aloud, and upsetting him wasn't something that I wanted to do right now.

I poked him in his abs, "There, there, Mr. Grumpy." I gave a fake theatric frown. "That wasn't so terrible was it?"

Emmett didn't smile, and he showed absolutely no emotion. His eyes were shockingly black and impossible to read. Emmett's indifference was really eating at me and beginning to flare at me temper. I stood up off the bed and began to stalk off. "You know what, forget it. Clearly me trying to get a rise out of you is nothing but a waste of time."

I didn't think that was too rude or out of line, but something in my words set Emmett off. For the first time ever, Emmett was bellowing at me and his cold black eyes seared my soul. "THAT'S IT! I CAN'T STAND IT ANYMORE! MARY, YOU ARE THE MOST NIAVE, IGNORANT, SELFISH, FRIZZY HAIRED, LITTLE BRAT THAT I HAVE EVER KNOWN!"

I tried not to show that Emmett's words were hurting me, throwing up my walls. "That's nice, Emmett, real classy."

"I DON'T CARE WHAT YOU THINK, MARY." Emmett continued to bellow, his strong hands gripping too hard against my arms, I let out a gasp that he ignored. "WHEN ARE YOU GOING TO GET IT THROUGH YOUR HEAD? I DON'T CARE ABOUT YOU, YOU SELFISH LITTLE BITCH!"

I had felt all the life drain out of my face, there was no pretending now. What Emmett had said destroyed my walls completely, and I had felt the lump of defeat growing in my throat and the prickling sting in my eyes. I wrenched my body out of his grasp with much difficultly and turned away from him, slamming the door behind me.

I ran. I ran out of the house. I ran down the road. I ran to the edge of town. I ran and ran and ran until there was nowhere else for me to go. I knew where I was heading, it was the only place distant enough yet still familiar to me. Emmett was the only other one who knew of the place, and I knew he wasn't going to bother looking for me.

The clearing.

Although I wasn't sure of the exact direction, I found the place. My shaky knees buckled from underneath me and I collapsed, burying my head against the cold stone I had once been laid upon during a happier time, and cried.

Eventually my eyes dried up and the only thing that remained of my pain was the aching in my heart and the shaking breaths that still took over my chest with every few moments. The strong Miss Mary had been broken down, by none other than Emmett Cullen.

In the distance of the trees there was a snapping of twigs, and I didn't bother to look up guessing at who it would be. "Emmett, leave me alone."

"Try again, Mary." The voice sent a chill up my spine; it was familiar but just distantly. I snapped my head up and looking in that direction, only to meet the stony gray eyes of Benjamin Fredrick Elliot, and the rage within them.


	13. Chapter Thirteen

I Write Sins, Not Tragedies

Chapter Thirteen: Crossroads

I stood there staring at him, frozen with shock. I didn't really know what to say; I hadn't expected to ever see this man again. Yet here he was, and everything about him oozed rage and I couldn't place why. When he walked toward me he stumbled a little with each step, and once he arrived nose to nose with me the smell on his breath confirmed my theory; he was drunk.

"Wh..what are you doing here," I stuttered a little, I tried to put on my most believable brave face before I spoke to him again. "What do you want?"

Ben chuckled darkly and a wicked glint grew in his cold gray eyes. "You've always been such a doll, Mary. Just like your mother." Ben began wrapping calloused hands around my face and neck enclosing me in his grasp. I tried to wither away, but he held me there firmly; hoisting me off the ground until I had no footing and no edge to escape.

Ben carried me several yards to the nearest tree, slamming me hard against it. So hard in fact, that when my head hit the tree it bounced back a little and when I opened my eyes the vision was blurred and there was a high pitched ringing in my ears.

I clawed at the hands that held me, mentally cursing the habit of chewing my nails. Surely such dull stubs were not going to have the desired effect on him. I was trying everything I could to get him to let me go, but someone as small and fragile like me didn't stand a chance. I knew that the odds of me getting out of this were a billion to one, though I wasn't prepared to face my death unless it were absolutely certain.

Ben kept snarling at me to keep still, but there was no chance in hell of me listening to his commands. Although I was afraid of him and what he could do to me, what he had planned; but I was more afraid of never making it out of this place.

Mentally, I visited a place where I was dead. I probably wouldn't even be searched for until a few days had passed, and even then the only person who would find me here would be Emmett. How would he react to entering his place and seeing my dead remains? My mind flashed a playback of his words menacingly, _I don't care about you._ It reminded me that seeing me dead wouldn't have bothered Emmett a bit, in fact, he would have probably celebrated by sucking me dry to satisfy his vampritic hunger. I guess that was all I was ever meant to be to him, a treat.

"Now, Mary, you be a good little girl," Ben cooed to me while fiddling to unbutton his dirty khaki pants. "This will be over faster that way."

Oh hell no.

There was no chance that I was going to sit back and be raped. He would have to kill me first. I mustered all control I had left in my body and threw my right knee hard into his gems. He let out a yelp of pain and let me go, but not before sending a knife deep into my side.

I was on the ground while he was trying to ease his pain. The wound in my side was gushing a fountain of blood, too much blood. I clutched it tight with my hands and stumbled to me feet, making a clumsy bolt into the woods. My vision was still blurred, so I couldn't tell the difference much between up and down and at time I was pretty sure I was stumbling in a circle. I was helpless.

After a few moments, I head been speak again; and his menacing tease made all the hairs on my body stand on end. "Mary, Mary, quite contrary, how does your garden grow?" It was the nursery rhyme my mother had always sung to me when I was a little girl and terrified of those monsters in the closet. There was no mother to sing away the pain, there was no one. I was all alone in the face of death. "With silver bells and cockle shells and pretty maids all in a row."

It was a nursery rhyme that had always been shrowded in horror stories and tales of the supernatural and paranormal. I had learned all of that from my indepth studies of classic literature. After all, I loved to write though I hadn't got much of it in since living with the Cullen family or since the tragic passing of my mother. Some of the haunting theories were that The Mary alluded to in this traditional English nursery rhyme is reputed to be Mary Tudor, or Bloody Mary, who was the daughter of King Henry VIII. Queen Mary was a staunch Catholic and the garden referred to is an allusion to graveyards which were increasing in size with those who dared to continue to adhere to the Protestant faith - Protestant martyrs.

Other ideas where that what this Mary had grown in her garden were instruments of torture The silver bells and cockle shells referred to in the Nursery Rhyme were colloquialisms for instruments of torture. The 'silver bells' were thumbscrews which crushed the thumb between two hard surfaces by the tightening of a screw. The 'cockleshells' were believed to be instruments of torture which were attached to the genitals.

And the final eerie idea was that the 'pretty maids all in a row' were actually execution devices. The 'maids' were a device to behead people called the Maiden. Beheading a victim was fraught with problems. It could take up to 11 blows to actually sever the head; the victim often resisted and had to be chased around the scaffold. Margaret Pole, Countess of Salisbury did not go willingly to her death and had to be chased and hacked at by the Executioner. These problems led to the invention of a mechanical instrument (now known as the guillotine) called the Maiden - shortened to Maids in Mary's Nursery Rhyme. The Maiden had long been in use in England before Lord Morton, regent of Scotland during the minority of James VI, had a copy constructed from the Maiden which had been used in Halifax in Yorkshire. Ironically, Lord Morton fell from favor and was the first to experience the Maiden in Scotland.

For what I had come to know after studying all of this was that sadly, my mother had named me souly after this rhyme. Sometimes I believe that is why I am so brutal and hard to deal with most of the time. Hey, if she named me after 'Bloody Mary' could you expect any different?

With each word he stung to me, his voice grew closer, and I could hear his steps grow in confidence. By the latter part, he had hoisted me back into his grasp by my bloody black locked, shooting another stab of his knife into my back, twisting it around.

My body tried to muster a scream from the pain, but the knife wound to my back had taken the wind out of me. Before I knew it, Ben's now bloody hands were enclosed on my wind pipe and there was a deadly cold to his expression. I wasn't going to make it out of this alive; he was going to ensure that. I was ready now, ready to welcome deaths warm embrace.

The voice that spoke next was positively terrifying, though it wasn't Ben's. "Get. The. Hell. Off. Of. Her." Each word was deadly and leaked threat. When Ben turned his head to look at the source his expression looked like he had dropped a load of timber in his pants. Apparently, though, he didn't move away from me fast enough.

Before I could even blink, there was a blurring of light and the sound of two boulders crashing together, and all the weight was lifted off of me. I took in a deep, welcome breath of air that was stopped short by the searing pain of my stab wounds. There was blood all around me, and I knew that I had already lost too much.

From the opposite direction of all the new commotion, two sets of cold hands were fussing over me. From the blur of my vision I could see the shape of two men, one copper-haired and the other blonde. I tried to turn my head the other direction to see what was going on, but Edward's voice pulled my attention away, his voice was solemn as if confirming my theories about Ben's new tortured screams that were echoing off of everywhere. "Don't watch that, Mary." I shut my eyes tight against themselves, both from the fear and the pain. Their cold hands were the only soothing my pain racked body.

"She's lost too much blood." I recognized Carlisle's voice almost instantly. "If we don't do something.." I had guessed what he was about to suggest, and just as I was about to open my mouth and protest, Edward spoke the words for me.

"She already said she didn't want that, Carlisle. We can't do this to her, not if she doesn't want it." From Edward's voice I could tell a part of him agreed with me, but another part felt a desperation and a wishing, a hoping that I would change my mind. In the few moments we both knew I had left. We both knew I wasn't going to. This was my end.

A new voice spoke up, and there was something in the words that was both desperate and beyond reason. The screams of Ben had disappeared completely, and I could guess as to why. "I don't care what she wants and what she doesn't, Edward. She's dying."

Edward stood up now, I could tell by the shifting of weight. An argument was about to ensue, "You can't just decide this for her. She's had the time to think it over and she doesn't want this. And I can't say I blame her either."

"If you don't like it," Emmett threatened darkly. "Then leave."

I could her Edwards teeth grind and his jaw clench, he was clearly weighing out his brother's thoughts and didn't like them; he didn't argue it anymore, but he didn't leave either. Instead, they had both kneeled down at my side. I felt Emmett's cold, broad hand take mine; and the tortured blur of his face came into my range of vision.

It took a lot of energy for me to speak up in protest as to what he was about to do. "Emmett…don't…please don't…" I could feel the tears eating at my eyes and one escaped the brim, sliding down my cheeks and into the moist dirt below.

His voice was filled with struggle and apology. "I'm sorry, Mary. I'm so so sorry."


	14. Chapter Fourteen

I Write Sins, Not Tragedies

Chapter Fourteen: Stacks of Boxes

"Mary?" An angelic voice rang through my ears; it was echoed and it gave me a little wince, although it was concerning. "Mary, are you alright?" I the roughness in my throat was preventing me from using my vocabulary to answer the voice that I had now recognized as Rosalie's so I groaned in response, hoping she would get the memo.

"Oh, thank god you're awake!" I felt her cold iron grasp squeeze my hand a little too tight and I winced, this time out loud. Rosalie loosened her grip, her voice apologetic. "Oh, right, sorry."

I finally mustered the strength to open my eyes, but the light was too much, and they closed again immediately. I began to move my body which was when I really started to feel the pain shooting through the nerves in my side and spine. Rosalie forced my body to remain still, "You need to lye still, Mary."

I wanted to speak whole sentences, to spew a bunch of questions at her, but the only request I could make was a mere croak. "Water." I felt her tap my arm reassuringly followed by a swift breeze on direction, and then again the opposite way less than a second later. I only knew it was Rosalie because cold water was running over my lips and down my parched throat immediately.

"How do you feel?" She asked as she pulled the cup away and set it on the table. I finally opened my eyes to look at her.

"Tired." I answered her plainly, immediately getting to my questions. "What happened? Am I… you know… like you?"

Rosalie laughed, it still sounded like bells, and she ran her cool hand over my forehead, moving my hair from my eyes. "No, Mary. You are still human as ever."

I let out a sigh of relief, relaxing a little into the soft bed. I was somewhat positive that I was going to wake up one of them; like I had remembered Carlisle saying in the clearing, I had lost too much blood. I was about to ask Rosalie how he had managed to keep to my wishes in such a fatal outlook, but she beat me to the answer.

"It took quite a few blood transfusions and a few times sewing you back up, but Carlisle is an amazing surgeon, and very courteous to say in the lines of your wishes; when he knows them." Rosalie added the last part as if there was a wound in her. It was then that I realized that I had never spoken to her about becoming what she was.

"Rose?"

"Hmm?"

"How did you…" I wasn't exactly sure how to ask this; as I had never asked a vampire or anyone else for that matter how they had died. "I mean…what happened to you…how did you become what you are?"

Rosalie sighed, but it wasn't out of irritation or as if she had taken offense. "It was a long time ago, Mary." I had thought that that was going to be her only answer to me. I had shifted in my bed a little, and was caught by surprise when she spoke again. Her eyes were very distant; far away now.

"My parents were thoroughly middle class. My father had a stable job in a bank, something I realize now that he was smug about — he saw his prosperity as a reward for talent and hard work, rather than acknowledging the luck involved. I took it all for granted then; in my home, it was as if the Great Depression was only a troublesome rumor. Of course I saw the poor people, the ones who weren't as lucky. My father left me with the impression that they'd brought their troubles on themselves.

"It was my mother's job to keep our house — and myself and my two younger brothers — in spotless order. It was clear that I was both her first priority and her favorite. I didn't fully understand at the time, but I was always vaguely aware that my parents weren't satisfied with what they had, even if it was so much more than most. They wanted more. They had social aspirations — social climbers, I suppose you could call them. My beauty was like a gift to them. They saw so much more potential in it than I did.

"They weren't satisfied, but I was. I was thrilled to be me, to be Rosalie Hale. Pleased that men's eyes watched me everywhere I went, from the year I turned twelve. Delighted that my girlfriends sighed with envy when they touched my hair. Happy that my mother was proud of me and that my father liked to buy me pretty dresses.

"I knew what I wanted out of life, and there didn't seem to be any way that I wouldn't get exactly what I wanted. I wanted to be loved, to be adored. I wanted to have a huge, flowery wedding, where everyone in town would watch me walk down the aisle on my father's arm and think I was the most beautiful thing they'd ever seen. Admiration was like air to me, Mary. I was silly and shallow, but I was content." She smiled, amused at her own evaluation.

"My parents' influence had been such that I also wanted the material things of life. I wanted a big house with elegant furnishings that someone else would clean and a modern kitchen that someone else would cook in. As I said, shallow. Young and very shallow. And I didn't see any reason why I wouldn't get these things.

"There were a few things I wanted that were more meaningful. One thing in particular. My very closest friend was a girl named Vera. She married young, just seventeen. She married a man my parents would never have considered for me — a carpenter. A year later she had a son, a beautiful little boy with dimples and curly black hair. It was the first time I'd ever felt truly jealous of anyone else in my entire life."

She looked at me with unfathomable eyes. "It was a different time. I was the same age as you, but I was ready for it all. I yearned for my own little baby. I wanted my own house and a husband who would kiss me when he got home from work — just like Vera. Only I had a very different kind of house in mind. . . ."

"In Rochester, there was one royal family — the Kings, ironically enough. Royce King owned the bank my father worked at, and nearly every other really profitable business in town. That's how his son, Royce King the Second" — her mouth twisted around the name, it came out through her teeth — "saw me the first time. He was going to take over at the bank, and so he began overseeing the different positions. Two days later, my mother conveniently forgot to send my father's lunch to work with him. I remember being confused when she insisted that I wear my white organza and roll my hair up just to run over to the bank." Rosalie laughed without humor.

"I didn't notice Royce watching me particularly. Everyone watched me. But that night the first of the roses came. Every night of our courtship, he sent a bouquet of roses to me. My room was always overflowing with them. It got to the point that I would smell like roses when I left the house.

"Royce was handsome, too. He had lighter hair than I did, and pale blue eyes. He said my eyes were like violets, and then those started showing up alongside the roses.

"My parents approved — that's putting it mildly. This was everything they'd dreamed of. And Royce seemed to be everything I'd dreamed of. The fairy tale prince, come to make me a princess. Everything I wanted, yet it was still no more than I expected. We were engaged before I'd known him for two months.

"We didn't spend a great deal of time alone with each other. Royce told me he had many responsibilities at work, and, when we were together, he liked people to look at us, to see me on his arm. I liked that, too. There were lots of parties, dancing, and pretty dresses. When you were a King, every door was open for you, every red carpet rolled out to greet you.

"It wasn't a long engagement. Plans went ahead for the most lavish wedding. It was going to be everything I'd ever wanted. I was completely happy. When I called at Vera's, I no longer felt jealous. I pictured my fair-haired children playing on the huge lawns of the Kings' estate, and I pitied her." Rosalie broke off suddenly, clenching her teeth together. It pulled me out of her story, and I realized that the horror was not far off. There would be no happy ending, as she'd promised. I wondered if this was why she had so much more bitterness in her than the rest of them — because she'd been within reach of everything she'd wanted when her human life was cut short.

"I was at Vera's that night," Rosalie whispered. Her face was smooth as marble, and as hard. "Her little Henry really was adorable, all smiles and dimples — he was just sitting up on his own. Vera walked me to the door as I was leaving, her baby in her arms and her husband at her side, his arm around her waist. He kissed her on the cheek when he thought I wasn't looking. That bothered me. When Royce kissed me, it wasn't quite the same — not so sweet somehow. . . . I shoved that thought aside. Royce was my prince. Someday, I would be queen."

"It was dark in the streets, the lamps already on. I hadn't realized how late it was." She continued to whisper almost inaudibly. "It was cold, too. Very cold for late April. The wedding was only a week away, and I was worrying about the weather as I hurried home — I can remember that clearly. I

remember every detail about that night. I clung to it so hard . . . in the beginning. I thought of nothing else. And so I remember this, when so many pleasant memories have faded away completely. . . ." She sighed, and began whispering again. "Yes, I was worrying about the weather. . . . I didn't want to have to move the wedding indoors. . . .

"I was a few streets from my house when I heard them. A cluster of men under a broken streetlamp, laughing too loud. Drunk. I wished I'd called my father to escort me home, but the way was so short, it seemed silly. And then he called my name.

"'Rose!' he yelled, and the others laughed stupidly.

"I hadn't realized the drunks were so well dressed. It was Royce and some of his friends, sons of other rich men. "'Here's my Rose!' Royce shouted, laughing with them, sounding just as stupid. 'You're late. We're cold, you've kept us waiting so long.'"

"I'd never seen him drink before. A toast, now and then, at a party. He'd told me he didn't like champagne. I hadn't realized that he preferred something much stronger.

"He had a new friend — the friend of a friend, come up from Atlanta.

"'What did I tell you, John,' Royce crowed, grabbing my arm and pulling me closer. 'Isn't she lovelier than all your Georgia peaches?'

"The man named John was dark-haired and suntanned. He looked me over like I was a horse he was buying.

"'It's hard to tell,' he drawled slowly. 'She's all covered up.'

"They laughed, Royce like the rest.

"Suddenly, Royce ripped my jacket from my shoulders — it was a gift from him — popping the brass buttons off. They scattered all over the street.

"'Show him what you look like, Rose!' He laughed again and then he tore my hat out of my hair. The pins wrenched my hair from the roots, and I cried out in pain. They seemed to enjoy that — the sound of my pain. . . ."

Rosalie looked at me suddenly, as if she'd forgotten I was there. I was sure my face was as white as hers. Unless it was green.

"I won't make you listen to the rest," she said quietly. "They left me in the street, still laughing as they stumbled away. They thought I was dead. They were teasing Royce that he would have to find a new bride. He laughed and said he'd have to learn some patience first.

"I waited in the road to die. It was cold, though there was so much pain that I was surprised it bothered me. It started to snow, and I wondered why I wasn't dying. I was impatient for death to come, to end the pain. It was taking so long. . . .

"Carlisle found me then. He'd smelled the blood, and come to investigate. I remember being vaguely irritated as he worked over me, trying to save my life. I'd never liked Dr. Cullen or his wife and her brother — as Edward pretended to be then. It had upset me that they were all more beautiful than I was, especially that the men were. But they didn't mingle in society, so I'd only seen them once or twice.

"I thought I'd died when he pulled me from the ground and ran with me — because of the speed — it felt like I was flying. I remembered being horrified that the pain didn't stop. . . .

"Then I was in a bright room, and it was warm. I was slipping away, and I was grateful as the pain began to dull. But suddenly something sharp was cutting me, my throat, my wrists, my ankles. I screamed in shock, thinking he'd brought me there to hurt me more. Then fire started burning through me, and I didn't care about anything else. I begged him to kill me. When Esme and Edward returned home, I begged them to kill me, too. Carlisle sat with me. He held my hand and said that he was so sorry, promising that it would end. He told me everything, and sometimes I listened. He told me what he was, what I was becoming. I didn't believe him. He apologized each time I screamed.

"Edward wasn't happy. I remember hearing them discuss me. I stopped screaming sometimes. It did no good to scream.

"'What were you thinking, Carlisle?' Edward said. 'Rosalie Hale?'" Rosalie imitated Edward's irritated tone to perfection. "I didn't like the way he said my name, like there was something wrong with me. "'I couldn't just let her die,' Carlisle said quietly. 'It was too much — too horrible, too much waste.'

"'I know,' Edward said, and I thought he sounded dismissive. It angered me. I didn't know then that he really could see exactly what Carlisle had seen.

"'It was too much waste. I couldn't leave her,' Carlisle repeated in a whisper.

"'Of course you couldn't,' Esme agreed.

"'People die all the time,' Edward reminded him in a hard voice. 'Don't you think she's just a little recognizable, though? The Kings will have to put up a huge search — not that anyone suspects the fiend,' he growled.

"It pleased me that they seemed to know that Royce was guilty.

"I didn't realize that it was almost over — that I was getting stronger and that was why I was able to concentrate on what they were saying. The pain was beginning to fade from my fingertips.

"'What are we going to do with her?' Edward said disgustedly — or that's how it sounded to me, at least.

"Carlisle sighed. 'That's up to her, of course. She may want to go her own way.'

"I'd believed enough of what he'd told me that his words terrified me. I knew that my life was ended, and there was no going back for me. I couldn't stand the thought of being alone. . . .

"The pain finally ended and they explained to me again what I was. This time I believed. I felt the thirst, my hard skin; I saw my brilliant red eyes.

"Shallow as I was, I felt better when I saw my reflection in the mirror the first time. Despite the eyes, I was the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen." She laughed at herself for a moment. "It took some time before I began to blame the beauty for what had happened to me — for me to see the curse of it. To wish that I had been . . . well, not ugly, but normal. Like Vera. So I could have been allowed to marry someone who loved me, and have pretty babies. That's what I'd really wanted, all along. It still doesn't seem like too much to have asked for."

She was thoughtful for a moment, and I wondered if she'd forgotten my presence again. But then she smiled at me, her expression suddenly triumphant.

"You know, my record is almost as clean as Carlisle's," she told me. "Better than Esme. A thousand times better than Edward. I've never tasted human blood," she announced proudly.

She understood my puzzled expression as I hadn't really known anything about their vampire existence or what she was referring to.

"I did murder five humans," she told me in a complacent tone. "If you can really call them human . But I was very careful not to spill their blood — I knew I wouldn't be able to resist that, and I didn't want any part of them in me, you see.

"I saved Royce for last. I hoped that he would hear of his friends' deaths and understand, know what was coming for him. I hoped the fear would make the end worse for him. I think it worked. He was hiding inside a windowless room behind a door as thick as a bank vault's, guarded outside by armed men, when I caught up with him. Oops — seven murders," she corrected herself. "I forgot about his guards. They only took a second."

"I was overly theatrical. It was kind of childish, really. I wore a wedding dress I'd stolen for the occasion. He screamed when he saw me. He screamed a lot that night. Saving him for last was a good idea — it made it easier for me to control myself, to make it slower —" She broke off suddenly, and she glanced down at me. "I'm sorry," she said in a chagrined voice. "I'm frightening you, aren't I?"

I shook my head, reassuring her. I had been watching and listening with wide, amazed eyes the entire time she had been speaking to me. "I'm good with weird."

Rosalie laughed a little bit. "Well I'd suppose you are." Changing the subject Rosalie asked me. "Are you hungry, Mary? I could run down and get you something really quick, if you'd like?"

I shook my head, playing with the white sheets in my hands. "No thanks. I just don't feel like eating right now." Rosalie frowned in response, clearly dissatisfied with my lack of appetite. For some reason the look on her face made me feel really guilty. "Maybe a PB&J sandwich?"

Rosalie stood up, beaming triumphantly. "Strawberry or Grape?"

"Grape."

With that she was gone.

When my sandwich returned moments later, I had expected Rosalie to be the one bringing it to me. Instead, however, Emmett knocked on my door and entered the room, setting the sandwich down on the bedside table along with a glass of milk. As I took a bite of my meal, he took a seat in the chair Rosalie had been sitting in, not saying a word and not meeting my eyes.

By the time I was chewing the last bite of my food it was beginning to become really awkward in the room. Swallowing my last bit hard, I spoke. "So…I half expected I'd be a vampire by now."

Emmett grunted.

"Are you going to talk?" I was glaring at him now, our fight coming back into my mind. I was still mad at him, no matter whether or not he had saved my life. Again.

"Why?"

I gave an irritated, sarcastic laugh. "Gee. I don't know, maybe because you f-ing told me that you don't care about me. Oh but wait, two days before that you were 'head over heels in love' with me."

Emmett didn't say anything, just sighed.

"You need to make up your mind. Either you want me here or you don't."

"What? I can't have both." There was clear irritation in his voice when he spoke to me finally. Anger flashed in his once again yellow eyes. "You think I want the woman I love to have to spend the rest of her life living among vampires? You think I want you to have to grow old while we stay young forever? You think I want to have to introduce you as my grandmother one day?" As he spoke I could tell he was growing sad. "Is that the kind of life you think I want for you?"

I frowned. "Is that why you are so insistent on me becoming like you?"

"Well it isn't like you can have it the other way around."

"Well it isn't like you have to be an ass."

"You are the one being stubborn." Emmett pointed out. "Alice has already seen you becoming one of us; you are only making it harder by insisting on your humanity."

I opened my mouth to speak, but closed it with nothing to say. It was then that I had actually taken a good look around the room. "Emmett?"

"What?"

"What is with all the boxes?"

Emmett sighed, "We are moving, Mary. All of us."

I frowned a little, upset and guilty. "Are we moving because of what happened?"

Emmett took my hand, I pulled it away. "No, Mary! Not at all! Don't ever think that!"

I furrowed my brow, not understanding. "Then why are we leaving. You guys love it here."

"How old does Carlisle look, Mary?"

I frowned, pondering. "I don't know. Twenty-five, twenty-eight at most. Why does that matter?"

Emmett answered. "Think about it, Mary. Carlisle is pretending to be thirty-three now." My mouth made a silent 'O' in realization. Emmett continued anyway. "We have homes all over the place, it just happens when you have unlimited time on your hands, you know? So we rotate around every so often to keep up with appearances."

"That makes sense." I noted. "But where are we moving to?"

"Forks." Emmett answered. "It is a small town in Washington State. You'll like it there, I promise you, Mary." Emmett placed his hand on mine. I pulled it away, still not liking the way his touch made my heart leap out of its shell. Besides, in my current condition, that couldn't have been safe.


	15. Chapter Fifteen

I Write Sins, Not Tragedies

Chapter Fifteen: Buy Me Some Time

"Emmett, Carlisle gave me crutches for a reason." I hiss as Emmett lifted my broken form out of his monster Jeep effortlessly. A few weeks had passed since the attack and I was now able to move around with the effort of what I refer to the as my torture canes. "I can walk, you know."

The ride here in a bumpy off-roading Jeep probably wasn't Emmett's brightest of ideas, each bump sent pain shooting through my nerves, though I stubbornly bit my lip and said nothing the entire time. Emmett spoke as he carried me the long gravel drive; "I know you can, Louie, but I don't have three hours."

I sneered silently at him and crossed my arms. There was no argument, I was slow; but I considered being handicap a valid excuse. Emmett was speedy and swift in his movements, but still careful not to give me motion sickness on top of everything else. After a few moments I recognized all the other Cullen cars in the drive showing that we were the last to arrive. "Emmett, is this the driveway?"

Emmett smiled down at my amazed expression, "Yeah. I told you I didn't have three hours. It's quite the distance, isn't it?"

I nodded silently until I had grown tired of only the sound of crunching gravel beneath his feet. "How long has it been since you've lived here?"

Emmett frowned, pondering. "I don't know exactly. Long enough so that no one will remember our faces or names. Everyone from before his dead now; it has probably been about seventy-five or eighty years."

"Wow!" I gasped, unable to swallow it. "How old are you?"

Emmett chuckled. "I only lived here for a few days last time, Mary."

"That doesn't answer my question."

Emmett sighed. "I don't want to freak you out, Mary."

I put on a cute face. "I promise I won't get scared."

Emmett frowned and took in a deep breath that I highly doubted he needed in the first place. "I was born in 1915, my real name was Emmett Dale McCarty." He paused checking my face, I gave away no emotion so he continued, satisfied. "I lived in Gatlinburg, Tennessee. I was part of a large Scotch-Irish family and was the youngest of all my brothers."

I quieted my amazement and asked; "What were you like back then, Mr. Emmett McCarty?"

Emmett smiled. "Much like I am now, I guess. It is hard to remember that long ago." I laughed a little before he continued. "I worked on the railroad with my brothers for a living, and that was how I spent most of my days.

"My parents considered me the wild child, and to be fair I did like to gamble and drink and I loved the ladies." Emmett flashed a grin and I gave him another appreciative laugh. "But they loved me none the less."

Emmett sighed, getting to the real part I had been curious about. "One afternoon my brothers and I had gone out for some sport hunting. And of course, we had bet on who could bring home the biggest catch; I had wondered off on my own.

"It wasn't long, a few hours maybe, until I had come on a mother black bear and one of her cubs. I was stupid back then, I thought it was something I could take on my own, even with my inexperience. I pulled out my gun just as the mother bear had spotted me…"

Emmett looked down and saw the look on my face, it was almost impossible for me to hide my horror at the scene he was painting for me. I was thankful when he chuckled a little nervously and spoke, "I'll spare you those gory details."

Emmett sighed, continuing after my face had relaxed a little. "It was Rosalie that found me and brought me back to Carlisle; and that is how I became this."

"But why?" I questioned, knowing Rosalie and her detest of forcing a human into this fate. It was something that was very out of character for her. "Rosalie is livid anytime any of you mention me becoming like this, or anyone else for that matter."

Emmett took another unneeded breath before he answered me. "She explained it to me once. Rosalie had said I reminded her of one of her old friend's sons."

"Vera." I interjected.

"Yeah," Emmett seemed surprised at my knowledge.

I clarified for him, "Rosalie told me all about her human life…and how she died."

"Oh," Emmett said plainly, and then he was silent for a moment before speaking again. "I wasn't angry when she and Carlisle had told me what I had become. I kind of liked the strength and the speed, especially the idea of never growing old. Ever since then Rosalie and I have been very close friends, and it was nice feeling as if I had a sister for once."

I was quiet for a while, thinking over everything Emmett had just told me. After a moment I worked up the bravery to ask him. "Have you…have you ever…killed anyone?"

Emmett was quiet, and I could tell that he was thinking about lying to me. After a moment his expression resigned and he decided to tell me the truth. "Yes, sadly. A few. Restraining from human blood isn't exactly easy…" he trailed off and glanced down at me, "I nearly killed you, Mary; when I had found you in that wreckage."

Much to my own surprise, I wasn't scared all that much when he said that.

Emmett continued, "The way your blood smells, Mary. And it is only to me…"

I grinned, seeing the dark and tortured look on his face and trying to ease it. "You find me irresistible."

I was lucky when Emmett caught on to my change of subject. "Very. And not just your blood, doll face." Emmett shot me a wink and I felt the blood rush to my cheeks. Luckily at that very moment, we had arrived at the doorstep at our new home. "We're here; home sweet home."

Emmett didn't set me down when we stepped in the door as he had left my crutches in the back of his Jeep and I still had some difficulty standing without them. I looked around the entryway; the home was old and Victorian style. To say it was beautiful was an understatement. I simply sat there in Emmett's arms with my mouth hanging open like an idiot.

Edward came forward and took me from Emmett's arms, they both helped me maintain footage on the floor. Edward was smiling my favorite crooked smile. "Close your mouth, Mary, you'll catch flies."

"Edward!" Esme reprimanded with mock offense at his statement as they lead me up the stairs. Alice had already sent up all of our boxes, furniture, and possessions. All that was left was to get me somewhere that I wasn't going to have to lie on the floor all hours of the day. "There are no flies in my house."

Edward and Emmett both laughed as they opened my bedroom door for me, leading me in. The room was light and spacious, and had a balcony. Still, it had the same homey touches as the place I had grown used to in Portland."

"Alice unpacked all your things for you, so you don't have to fight with yourself to do any work." Edward noted, motioned to the dresser and the closet. I noticed then that there was a bathroom joined to my room. At least I wouldn't have to worry about being walked in on.

I called out loud, knowing that she could hear me from wherever she was in the house, "Thank you, Alice."

I heard her high pitched voice call out, confirmation that she had indeed heard me. "You're very welcome, Mary."

I laughed and Emmett led me over to the bed as Edward politely left the room to give me and him some alone time. I relaxed a little as the cold bed greeted me with cozy arms. "So what do we do for fun around the poke old town?"

Emmett smiled. "Well, just like any ordinary teenagers, Mary. High School."

My eye widened in horror and Emmett chuckled. I playfully smacked him on his arm, though not hard enough to cause more damage to myself. I learned that the first time. "Emmett, I don't think that is a very funny joke."

"That is because I'm not joking with you, Mary. We literally have to go to school." Emmett smiled, clearly enjoying watching my horror deepen as it was setting in.

"Why?" I shrieked, burying my head in the white sheeted pillow.

Emmett laughed again; there was no end to his amusement. "Because, Mary, the younger we start out, the longer we can stay in one place. Vampire 101."

My voice was barely recognizable through the pillow, but I was sure that Emmett could hear me clearly. "Okay, but why do I have to go? I'm not a vampire." Duh Captain Obvious.

"Because, Carlisle already has us all enrolled and Jasper even went through the trouble of getting a fake identity for you and everything. It is already in place. First day is August first." Emmett explained.

I lifted my head out of my pillow cave and glared sternly at him; "I don't think you are understanding me, Emmett. High School was never kind to me."

Emmett frowned a little, and it was genuine. "Why not?"

"Duh Emmett. Only the pretty people thrive in that hell hole. And in case you haven't noticed, Emmett, I am not exactly the kind of girl that guys look twice at. I'm the freakishly smart, invisible, nerd that no one knows exists." Once I had finished my rant of hate, Emmett sighed and pushed some of the hairs that had gone astray back neatly.

"I think you are beautiful, Mary. And besides, you're a married woman now, need I remind you. You shouldn't care." Emmett winked, reminding me of our situation that we were only put in because he insisted that he didn't believe in divorce. "And there is nothing wrong with being the freakishly smart one."

"Well in high school there is." I muttered. I was glad that he ignored it. I sighed and gave in to asking another question. "So Jasper got me a fake identity?"

"Yup." Emmett beamed from beside me. "You are now Mary Louise Hale."

"And how exactly do I fit into our little family?" I asked, eyebrow sky high.

"You are Jasper and Rosalie's cousin."

I shook my head, there was no way that anyone was going to buy that. I looked nothing like any of the Cullen's. "I swear, Emmett, I think you are blind sometimes." And thus began the dread that I forever thought I had been rid of; the nightmarish countdown to the first day of school.

August 1st, please, take your time.


	16. Chapter Sixteen

I Write Sins, Not Tragedies

Chapter Sixteen: First Day

I had felt like it was my first day of kindergarten, and the nerves were really starting to eat at me the night before. I didn't get very much sleep, Edward came in to wake me just as I was finally dozing off. Esme had breakfast prepared for me, which I didn't eat much of. I just couldn't for the food down because the space in my stomach was filled with that nervous knot.

"You look terrible, Mary." Alice noted as she walked into the kitchen.

"Gee, thanks."

"I meant, didn't you get any sleep?"

I raised my eyebrow; she was asking a pretty obvious question. I didn't mean to be rude to her, but I just wasn't a very pleasant person in the morning. "Does it look like it?"

Alice, catching onto my mood, simply handed me the backpack that she had already packed full of everything on the supply list. I sighed, "I'm sorry, Alice. I'm not meaning to be mean or anything."

"I know, Mary. It's okay." Alice smiled. "If it helps, I can assure you that nothing terrible is going to happen to you today."

Today. "Good to know."

Alice continued in a more informatory tone as she handed me my schedule. "We are all taking Edward's car; its more blend able. Since there are six of us, I will be riding in the trunk." The look on my face must have been comical, as Alice laughed her bell like laugh. "Don't worry, Mary, vampires are indestructible I'll be fine; you're the one who needs the seatbelt."

Edward interjected casually. "Please Alice, I'm an excellent driver."

Alice rolled her eyes and took a breath, continuing. "Edward made sure that you will always have a class with at least one of us, so you won't ever be alone." I was grateful for that much. "I know this whole arrangement of going to school makes you uncomfortable, but I promise it won't be as bad as the first time you had to do it."

"Let's hope not." I muttered, stuffing the schedule that I hadn't bothered to glance at in the side pocket of my backpack. I was already nauseous, and there was no need to make myself sick.

Rosalie entered the room, bringing me a blue cardigan with her. Rosalie gave me a look that was unmistakable, it mirrored the feeling in my stomach; she wasn't happy about the idea either. "We'd better get going if we are to get a good parking space."

Edward pulled the shiny keys from his pants pocket and darted for the door. "Already on it."

Emmett and Jasper came down the stairs, as if on que. Jasper had made an attempt to relieve that sick feeling from my tummy, and was fairly successful. I made sure to send him a few grateful vibes; it was one less thing I had to weigh on my mind today.

Emmett wrapped his arm across my shoulder and led me out the door into the garage. I had a feeling that this was going to be a very long day.

Forks High School was a surprisingly small school, but then again if you think about it, Forks is a very small town. How many ignorant teenagers could this place hold? Wait, I had an answer to that. Forks High School had a student body population of about five hundred and fifty students. That was puny compared to Portland Metro High's four thousand students.

Discovering that was somewhat of a relief to me, at least there would be significantly less people than I had so greatly hated. When we had pulled into the parking lot, I could see that the school was divided into several small brick buildings, which meant a lot of outdoor embarkments. What does that mean for me? Plenty of opportunities to skip classes.

Edward heard my thoughts and shot me a wink from across the car when he got out. I returned it with a small smile. Did I possibly have a skipping buddy?

"Well, what do you think?" Emmett grinned as he shut the car door behind us. "Was it as terrible as you had hoped?"

I was honest. "Not entirely. I remember high school being much bigger."

Rosalie sighed indifferently. "Well this is Forks, dear. Everything is much more monotonous."

I gave a theatric frown. "Except for the fact that it is now home to seven vampires, yeah, I'd say so." Everyone laughed, amused by my tiny pun to lighten the mood. "Would it be cliché to say 'I have nothing to be afraid of, no one is going to bite me'?"

Jasper agreed with a velvety chuckle. "Probably, yes."

It was only then that I looked around the parking lot that was already filling up. Everyone was staring at the new kids, awestruck expression on their faces. It took me a moment to register what in the world they were all so entranced by, but then I remembered that first day with the Cullens when I had opened my eyes and seen Carlisle and all his glory.

I spoke to Edward from across his shiny silver Volvo with a teasing laugh, there were a few girls who were eyeing Emmett like a piece of meat. "Have they made claims on their crushes yet?"

Edward knew what my real question had been, he grinned with mischief. "I think you may have a little friendly competition coming your way, Mary."

Emmett caressed my cheek affectionately. "Of course she doesn't"

I smiled up at him, strangely shy for once.

Jasper and Edward exchanged knowing looks, Alice beamed triumphantly, and Rosalie shot me a wink. All of that in combination with Emmett's hand lingering on my face made me turn fifteen different shades of red.

Alice laughed, dancing off towards the door of the building that housed her first bell class. "Come on, guys. Let's get this day over with." In a few moments of forced steady speed, the doors swallowed her and she was gone.

Jasper and Emmett bid their farewells and headed off into another building; my slightly elated feeling faded along with Jasper's presence. Rosalie gave my hand a promising squeeze, "I'll see you next bell, sweetie."

With him being the only one left, I had already guessed that my first class would be with Edward. Looking up to meet my favorite crooked smile, he strode confidently around the car and placed a gently guiding hand on my back, stopping me from high tailing it in the opposite direction.

I didn't need the map Alice packed me, Edward had found our class with no shown effort at all, it must have been a perk of the mind reading package. As soon as I too was through the doorway, he turned to me. "Where do you want to sit?"

I didn't even need to think about it, I strode straight on towards the furthest table in the back of the room, setting my tan backpack on the fake wooden table. Edward chuckled knowing that my decision was made purely out of my dissatisfaction with people.

"You're never going to make friends this way, Mary." Edward teased as he gracefully sat down next to me. People were already staring and whispering.

"Oh shut up, Edward." I retorted stupidly.

He laughed.

The bell rang out a few moments later and the teacher strode into the room, closing the door. He was middle aged and very tan; he wore an ugly green sweater vest that matched everything else outside and thick classes. He stood with his back to us, writing his name on the chalkboard.

After he had finished, he turned around to speak to the class. "Hello everyone." His smile was fairly welcoming. "I'm Mr. Carnes, your English teacher."

No one in the class was paying attention to him, all of their eyes were on Edward and myself. Mr. Carnes seemed to pick up on the same thing that I had. "As you all seem to have noticed, we have a few new students this year." Lifting his head so that he could see out of his glasses, he spoke directly to the two of us. "Mr. Cullen, Miss Hale, would you care to introduce yourselves to the class?"

There was some horror in my thoughts, which made me even more grateful that Edward had stood up, introducing us both very simply. "I am Edward and this is Mary, we are some of Dr. Cullen's adopted children. We just moved here this summer from Portland."

I swore that I had seen a few girls swoon as Edward sat back down and the teacher thanked him. I turned my head to face him and unnecessarily mouthed the words, extremely grateful. "Thank you."

Edward smile and laughed a little, shrugging it off. "We don't need you having a heart attack on your first day, Mary. Relax."

"I just wish these people would stop looking at us," I hissed. "It is really beginning to get on my nerves." Just as I said it, the people nearest to us turned their heads away, hearing my complaint.

"I think they were looking at me, Mary." Edward mused teasingly.

I glared, tilting my head in irritation. "Well aren't you modest."

"The most."

I turned my attention back to my notebook, not caring to look around to curious eyes any longer to send puns back and forth puns with my brother. I simply sat there, doodling faces in my journal and epically failing at hangman with mind reading Edward.

As soon as the bell rang, Rosalie was waiting for me outside the door and her and Edward exchanged their polite greetings and goodbyes before her and I headed of for math. It wasn't a far walk, just a few doors down the hall.

"How'd last class go?" Rosalie asked me as soon as we had taken our sets. Once again those curious and whispering eyes followed us everywhere.

I sighed. "Alright I suppose. I hope that all this attention dies down soon, though."

Rosalie agreed fervently in her expression. "It will in about a week or so."

This teacher was an old woman and she didn't waste time on petty introductions, diving straight into the first chapter of the textbook. I groaned in detest, "I freaking hate math. I was great at it until they decided it would be fun to throw in the alphabet."

Rosalie laughed her musical laughed and tore her attention from her already completed paper to help me with mine, taking her time to explain those ungraspable concepts to me. "It isn't that hard if you think of it like this, Mary."

While she was trying her best to explain it in a way that I would understand, I just gave up and went back to scribbling crap onto notebook paper, waiting for that nasally noise to dismiss me.

Once we had stood up and left the room, Rosalie walked me to my next class and kissed my cheek in farewell. Alice had already chosen a seat for us, next to her sat Jasper with a welcoming smile on his lips. He graciously relieved that sick feeling again as I entered the room.

"Rough day?" He asked as I sat down.

"Prying eyes, English with Edward, and math all before nine in the morning?" I asked rhetorically, "no, it's been the greatest day ever."

They both laughed and I listened as Alice chirped away about something to do with my upcoming birthday party and I half listened, tuning in as I was expected to answer a question politely. It was only when someone finally came up to speak to us that made me enter back into the real world.

"Um..hi.." The girl was taller than me, more of an average height, she was tan with long straight brown hair and brown eyes. The girl seemed really nervous in approaching us, but still friendlier than everyone else I had seen. "Do you guys mind if I sit here, everywhere else is taken?"

It was Alice who chirped in first, "Sure, take a seat." Immediately she began to introduce us, "I'm Alice Cullen, and these two are Jasper and Mary Hale. They are cousins."

Despite Alice's friendliness, the girl was still really shy. "I'm Angela."

"It's nice to meet you." Alice grinned.

From there Jasper didn't speak and I understood why, clearly he was uncomfortable by the proximity of the girl who had taken the seat next to him. I spoke up, saving him some air. "Hey Alice?"

Alice stopped her conversation with Angela and looked over to me. "Yes?"

I gave her a pointed look when I spoke, Alice caught on quickly. "Why don't you show Angela your new shoes?"

"Oh! I almost forgot!" It was a really lame excuse, but she played along none the less. "Mary, would you mind trading Angela seats for a moment?"

"Not at all," I stood up and scooted my things over, sitting down next to Jasper. He had grown fairly used to my blood by now and I knew that it was nowhere near as difficult for him to be near to me than any average student in this school.

He smiled gratefully, easing up a little.

By forth bell I was a hero, look at how things turn out.

Emmett had the next class with me, and oddly I was relieved to be in a room with him. He smiled broadly as soon as I had come into sight. "Saved you a seat."

"Well, I figured." I answered as I sat down gratefully. "I would have been pretty mad if you had let someone else sit with you instead."

"Some other girl?" Emmett seemed to know exactly what I meant.

I sneered. "Shut up, Emmett."

"No can do, dearie."

"Class is starting."

"Do you think I care? How many times have I done this?"

"How should I know?"

"Shh..class is starting." From the look on his face when I turned to look at him, he was doing this just to get a rise out of me, but more importantly a smile. Needless to say by the way just being near him warmed me up, it worked.


	17. Chapter Seventeen

I Write Sins, Not Tragedies

Chapter Seventeen: Deck the Halls with Blood and Peril

For the next two months school drug on, though much to my own surprise, I had actually managed to make a friend other than that of the Cullen's. That girl who introduced herself to Alice, Jasper, and I on the first day; Angela Webber. I liked Angela mostly because she was honestly nice. I hadn't heard her talk about anyone once, which was a major plus for me. Honestly, I didn't know how she did it with some of those friends of hers, especially Jessica Stanley.

Jessica was the most popular girl in Forks. She was fairly good looking with curly dark hair, blue eyes, and a technically good physique. Jessica also had that typical and cliché popular girl attitude. Jessica wanted to know everything about everyone, she showed me that side on my first day of school.

I was walking to the lunch table with Emmett when she stopped me as I strode passed. "Excuse me." Jessica was the one who bounded up from the table to block my path. Emmett simply continued on to sit with the rest of the family. "I'm Jessica." Her smile was so fake that I was honestly surprised that her face didn't crack in half. "I just wanted to welcome you to the school."

"Um…thanks.." I tried to walk off, leaving out encounter at that, but she wasn't having it. Jessica took me by my elbow, leading me to sit down with herself, Angela, and two other guys. I smiled awkwardly as she sat me down.

"So.." Jessica began with the barrage of questions as soon as she was seated comfortably. "Where are you and your family from?"

My answer was short, "Portland."

"And before that?" She asked.

I was coming up with the best lies I could, knowing that Edward was listening and would fill in the rest of the Cullens so that we were all able to keep our stories straight if asked. I glanced over to the table where they all sat watching me carefully. Rosalie shot me a quizzical look and I shrugged. Edward nodded as if it were permission to tell her whatever I had to. "Nowhere, we've lived there our whole lives."

"I see." Jessica said her fake smile faltering, she tiled her head as she asked me her next question. I could tell there was some skepticism in her voice. "Which ones are you related to again?"

"I am Jasper and Rosalie's cousin." I informed robotically, then thinking it through and elaborating a little more. "Our fathers were stepbrothers, not blood." Hopefully that was sufficient enough to cover our wide gap in appearance.

"Oh, that makes since." Gee, that was completely polite.

"It must be really weird for you," Angela apologized politely, "We don't mean to pry, we are just curious." It was clear that she was really apologizing for Jessica's rudeness.

Jessica added, "It just you are the one … you're a little more…"

"Approachable." I added understandably.

"Very." Jessica agreed fervently. I saw her eye Emmett in awe.

"Well, um.." I began awkwardly, standing up with my untouched tray of food, "I am going to go back over and sit with them, I guess."

Just as I was walking away, Jessica sprinted up next to me, pulling me aside. "So um…I just wanted to know.. Emmett Cullen is off limits, right?"

"What?"

"You and him are dating right?" Jessica clarified as if it were an obvious question.

I shot my eyes over to where he sat instinctively. It was clear by the tenseness in his posture that he was listening, though he was trying not to make it obvious. I wasn't exactly sure how to answer Jessica's nosey question, but I knew that whatever answer I gave, Emmett was well tuned in to.

Jessica raised her eyebrow and forced my eyes to meet hers, she spoke impatiently to me as if I were a little child admitting to something I had done out of turn. "Well?"

I bit my lip, not exactly sure what it was that made me answer the way I did. "Um... yeah, we're dating … he's my boyfriend." It sounded weird on my tongue. I didn't even dare look over to see his reaction, I was already red enough.

Jessica seemed fairly disappointed, but covered her frown almost as soon as she had made the face. "Oh…well…what about the brown haired one?"

"Edward?" I asked.

"Yeah."

I gave a little laugh; Jessica honestly thought she had a chance with Edward. It was fairly amusing. "Good luck with that."

Jessica narrowed her eyes, looking very offended. "What do you mean?"

I grinned deviously, not able to resist the opportunity to get a jab in at the one person who constantly poked fun at me when given the chance. "Because he's gay." I gave a believable scoff. "Didn't you know that?"

I grinned at myself even more because just as the words reached their ears, I hear the Cullens laugh and Edward give a quiet swear.

Jessica was really offended then, she turned her back on me as if to let me go. "Oh..alright…that makes since…it is always the good looking ones.." Jessica shot me a pathetic disappointed smile and sulked off back to where she was sitting.

I practically skipped over to the family, grinning. I was very proud of my improv. I took the seat next to Edward, blowing him a teasing kiss. "How'd you like them apples, buddy?"

"Hilarious, Mary." Edward sulked, fingering the apple on his blue lunch tray. "When are you going to stop acting like a two year old."

"When I turn three." I answered smartly.

Jasper and Emmett were still chuckling a little and Rosalie and Alice were still smiling with humor and admiration. Rosalie was the first to speak up, "I wasn't aware that you had come out of the closet, Eddie. I mean, I had always seen this coming."

Edward glared at her, his yellow eyes lethal.

Jasper laughed quietly, joining in on the fun that I had created for us. "I mean, you're my brother, so no matter which way you swing, I'll always support you."

Edward stood up, unable to take the irritation of being at the losing end of a joke any longer and threw away his uneaten food, stalking off to the next class.

It was Emmett that turned to speak to me all of a sudden, grinning silkily. "So, Mary, I wasn't aware that I had ever asked you to be my girlfriend."

Everyone was laughing again, this time at me. I had turned about a bazillion shades of red that I had never known existed and I stood up and followed right behind Edward in embarrassment to the Biology classroom.

When it came time for the birthday party of mine that Alice had so gratefully planned, I was thankful that she had kept it small and to my liking. It was only the family and Angela that she invited to our home. Esme had baked my favorite flavor of cake, red velvet, and Edward had been in charge of selecting all the music. I never imagined a better way to spend my nineteenth birthday that with these people, but it also made me grieve for my mother and the life that I had lost only months ago.

Halloween was great too, I had an excellent joke when I dressed up as one of those cliché vampires. I had gone all out with Emmett's aid in my less that tasteful selection of fangs that had dripped fake blood and a black cape. Edward found it hilarious, taking an albums worth of pictures and even joined in, perhaps I had started a new hallows tradition with my quirky since of humor.

By the time Christmas break had worn around, I was honestly surprised that I had survived for this long in that place. My grades were excellent thanks to the Cullens guidance and tutoring and the other plus was that I had Edward and Jasper for gym partners. Things were not going nearly as bad as I had remembered them being for me.

I, too, was actually excited that I was spending my first Christmas holiday with my new family. It was all going so great for me. I had convinced Edward to only play Christmas tunes on his piano and for Esme to allow me to work my fun at decorating the house for this festive season.

I had already chosen presents for all of the Cullens, and they were thoughtful too. For Alice I had picked out a designer dress that she had dropped endless hints about me getting her, for Rosalie I had gotten her some more of her favorite perfume, Jasper was getting a new journal as he had told me he had already filled his last one up with his newest poems that he was going to allow me a sneak peak to, Esme was getting some new photo frames to hang Rosalie's hand painted works like she loved to do, Carlisle had gotten a new medical bag to carry all of those items in, Edward was getting concert passes to a show of his choice, and for Emmett…well I hadn't exactly found anything for him yet.

All in all, this season had put me in an exceptionally elated mood, something for which was a gift to everyone. Edward was especially glad to get a break for my constant sarcasm and teases.

Today it was just me here with Jasper, I had talked him into helping me get all of their old Christmas ornaments out from the attic and aiding me in putting the on the tree that Emmett had brought home the night before. I poked my head around the corner of the tree to get his attention, I was too short to place this one. "Hey Jasper," I said dangling a shimmery green one in front of my face, a sheepish smile played on my lips, "Can you give me a lift."

Jasper chuckled, coming around to get a grip on my feet. "Sure can do, kiddo. Is this the last one?" Jasper held me up effortlessly.

"Yep." I said as I had bit my lip in focus, standing on the edge of my toes to reach the branch I had desired for it to go on. "Just..a…little..higher.." Just like that, in an instant I had lost my footing and crashed to the floor, falling on top of the ornament that was in my hands.

"Mary, are you alright?" Jasper was by my side in a second, helping me get onto my back. It was then that the wave of smell overcame him. I had seen his eyes growing black in thirst, and just that easily, he lost control.


	18. Chapter Eighteen

I Write Sins, Not Tragedies

Chapter Eighteen: Fate Has A Way Of Showing His Ugly Face

"Jasper!" I managed to choke out in shock while he had sunk his teeth deep into my new with a sharp, stabbing pain. The look in his black eyes was wild and beyond reason. Never in my life had I ever felt as scared as in that moment. Even though I knew that my efforts would be in vain, I pleaded desperately, fighting the tears from leaking from my eyes. "Jasper, please stop. Please."

The only response that I had heard from him was a deep rabid growl, and I knew that this wasn't the Jasper I had grown to love anymore; this was the predator that was within him, hidden within all of the Cullen. This had been what Emmett was trying to protect me from.

Jasper closed his grasp on me tighter and I could feel the life being sucked away from me. The edges of my vision had gone dark and blurry and the way I was hearing my surroundings had gone distant. I had barely heard the front door slam open as Alice and Edward arrived home.

Edward sprinted forward so fast that I had only seen him appear above Jasper, tearing him away from where he had his mouth locked onto my neck. Edward's voice was sympathetic and filled with agony. "Oh no, Jasper, what have you done.."

Jasper was fighting hard again his brother, his eyes still locked onto me like a lion eyes his prey. There was no emotion that filled him now, it was only thirst that drove him now.

Alice had come over to me, lifting me up in her arms, carrying me out of Jasper's reach so that he could get a hold on himself. Alice's face was somber, and she looked as if she were about to cry; she didn't say a word to me, trying to get me out of the room as fast as she could.

It was only when she had laid me down in the bed that it really hit me. I had never felt pain like this before. My blood had turned to acid, my entire body screamed out in agony. I wanted to scream, I wanted to cry out, but I couldn't move. I didn't have control over my body anymore. As a sudden wave of it hit me, I bit down on my tongue too hard, causing more blood to pour into my mouth.

Alice leaned me over so I could spit it out, "I'm so sorry, Mary." Alice held my hand and kept the her cold skin against mine, trying anything to keep me comfortable. "I know it hurts." It was clear that she had no clue what to do and neither more knew what to say, she simply looked on in terror as the burning pain had reached my eyes.

I heard Edward's voice announce his approach. "Alice, go. Jasper needs you." There was no emotion in him, he was solemn and empty.

I felt her hand leave mine, but not before one last apologetic squeeze, telling me that she had left the room. I had felt a larger hand take her place, Edward's. I had felt sorry for him in those moments, sorry that he had to hear my thoughts, and sorry that he had to endure the pain along with me. However, selfish as it seemed, I was glad he stayed there with me, glad to not be alone.

Edward seemed just as unsure as Alice in what to do, simply quieting me down every time that I screamed, telling me that it would be over with soon. How soon was soon? It had only been minutes lying here and it had felt like an eternity.

_Kill me, Edward. _I thought to him, knowing he was tuned in. _Please, just kill me._

Edward gave me a tortured look, and I knew that he wasn't going to grant me my request. No one in this family was going to kill me, and I had felt pain at that. They loved me too much to end my pain, but not enough to stop it. Would no one show me any mercy.

I couldn't tell you what amount of time had passed before Carlisle and the other's had made it home, but I can tell you that it wasn't soon enough.

It was Carlisle that shared the bad news. "The venom is too far in her system, there is no way to reverse it." He spoke to Edward, Rosalie, and Emmett who loyally stayed by my bedside. I couldn't read the expressions on their faces, all of them were empty and solemn.

Rosalie rested herself down on the bed next to me, comforting my searing skin with her icy body. They had felt even colder to me now. She didn't say much to me, only petting my black curls with her pale hand absentmindedly. None of them spoke to me, and none of them spoke to each other.

I had tried to give Edward some relief, as he was the one who was suffering the most, hearing the agonizing thoughts that were shooting through my brain. I could see the pain each of them had caused and it made me feel guilty. I tried to keep my mind on pointless things like sights and sounds, but it was hard to ignore what was really happening to me.

I was becoming what I dreaded, I was becoming a vampire.

After what had felt like ages, I had noticed that the pain had started to fade away from my fingers and toes, and away from the outer edges of my body. However as it did so, the pain become more intense around my heart, it was telling me that I was nearing the end, nearing the point that my heard would cease to beat along with humanity. I would be dead.

At the last sprint of the transformation, there was a single stabbing pain that was more intense than all the others, and it was over. My heart stood still and everything was gone, all the pain and all the terror. It had disappeared with my now dead heart.

It was then that I heard the first voice in three days. Jasper was willed with torture and there was no disguising it in his tone as he requested for the three of them to leave the room. "I need a moment to speak to her, if you don't mind. Alone."

I felt the bed shift and Rosalie's weight leave it and I heard Edward sit up from the chair obediently. Emmett, though, didn't remove his hand from mine. Edward spoke firmly to him in warning. "Emmett.." There was a silence and I could simply picture the looks that were being shared between them. Eventually Emmett stood up, but there was a detectable reluctance to it.

I waited until I heard the door shut firmly and Edward announce to Carlisle, Esme, and Alice who were waiting anxiously below that I was awake and I had made it through okay.

When u had opened my eyes, I gasped. Everything was crystal clear, I could see ever tint of color and every particle that floated through the air around me. When I inhaled I watched as they entered and exited my mouth in a ballet.

Jasper gave an awkward chuckle. Startled, I wheeled around to look at him, taken aback by my new found speed. Jasper was so much more beautiful than I remembered now that I could really see him in all his glory. His golden hair seemed to have more of a sparkle to it now. In his eyes were the tiniest speckles of reddish tint.

There was a burning in the bottom of my throat now that I was trying to ignore. My mind was bouncing around in a million different directions and I wasn't sure when it would stop and stay on a steady thought.

Jasper took hold of my hand and sent me a wave of his emotion. There was no mistaking it; sorrow and guilt filled me just before he pulled it out and spoke. "Mary, I am so so soo sorry for this…I…I…"

Jasper was clearly at a loss for words. How exactly do you apologize for attacking someone and turning them into a vampire? I answered him by placing my other hand on his reassuringly. "Jasper, it's okay, I'm not mad at you. It was an accident, you didn't mean this."

"You didn't want this life, Mary, and its my fault…"

I held up a hand, "Shh! Not another word."

"Its true." Jasper persisted.

"What happened happened. There is no point in lulling around in guilt and blame." I answered firmly closing that door on him. "I'm not going to sit back and let you blame yourself for what was clearly fate's way of rearing his ugly head." With that being said, I shot him a reassuring smile and then wrapped my arms around him, pulling him into a hug.

I was genuinely surprised when he answered by returning it with a laugh. "I suppose this is a strange way to say 'Welcome to the Family'." We pulled apart and shared a laugh.

With all apologies and explanations behind us, Jasper helped me off the bed and led me to the door to head downstairs where everyone was waiting for me anxiously. I didn't bother to take my time, with my new super speed I darted in front of him and shot like a torpedo down the stairs. I had managed to stop myself just before I ran straight into the sofa in the family room.

Esme was the first to greet me, wrapped her arms around me in a tight affectionate hug with I gladly returned. "It is good to see that you are alright, Mary."

Carlisle patted me on the back, "Yes it is."

I had felt Alice's excited iron grasp attack me from the side, nearly knocking me to the ground. "What's cookin' good lookin'?" Alice laughed and turned me around, making me face the reflection in the mirror on the opposite wall.

I was amazed at what I saw. I barely looked like me anymore, I now had the same hard, white, marble skin as the rest of the Cullens. My hair was like cascading black silk, each curl carefully and perfectly crafted on my head. The only difference in my appearance and that of everyone else was that my eyes were solid black, with the slightest red edges. That was strange.

Edward caught my thoughts, explaining them with my favorite crooked smile. His mood was much lighter now, a lot better than I had seen him the last few days. "Those will change, Mary, as you adjust to our diet. It may take a few months." Edward came forward, placing a kiss on my hair; he spoke again when he pulled away. "I'm glad to see you're okay."

I smiled up at him.

Emmett ignored everyone else's mannerly and tactful greetings, hoisting me off the ground and crushing me into his arms. When he finally sat me back down on my feet, he was grinning. This had been the happiest I had ever seen him. Emmett placed his fingers under my chin, lifting my face up to meet his eyes, "You look absolutely lovely, Mary."

I blushed, or actually now, I did whatever it was that vampires do. Certainly no color rushed to my cheeks. I dejected my gaze, but then remembered someone else that was in the room. I turned around to look for my best friend, but Rosalie was hovering in the corner, her mood still very dim.

She seemed to only speak because she noticed my gaze on her, her voice was dull and empty. "I'm glad you came through okay, Mary." There was something in her voice, I noticed. Her tone seemed a little too forcefully polite.

With what she had to being said, she tore away from the room, stalking to hers upstairs away from us all. I watched her walk away, slightly hurt and offended. What the hell was her problem?

No one looked up, and no one looked at each other or me. I clearly was not the only one who noticed that there was something wrong about her. Edward was the first to bother explaining, bending down and whispering into my left ear reassuringly. "She's not mad at you, Mary. She just…isn't exactly comfortable with all this yet. Just give it some time, she'll get used to it."

"I hope." I mumbled back, my mood a little dimmed.

Emmett clutched my hand in distraction, speaking to me now as to pull my mind away from her. "We should get you fed, Mary." Emmett lifted me over his shoulder and I let out a little playful shriek. "Come on, I'll show you how it's done."


	19. Chapter Nineteen

I Write Sins, Not Tragedies

Chapter Nineteen: New Beginnings

"So," I asked for about the tenth time, "I have to go back to school?"

"Yes." Alice insisted, opened the door that led from the obnoxiously large garage into the Cullen home. My home. "Becoming a vampire isn't a valid excuse for an extended absence."

"I don't know," I pressed, a happy smile on my lips, "I would think that there is something in their books for that exception."

Alice laughed as we walked through the kitchen and into the family room. Edward was sitting at the piano, hitting the keys absentmindedly, not playing any real melodies. I took a seat on the bench next to him and began touching the keys at random simply to get on his nerves. Edward turned his face to me, smiling and ruffling my hair in good nature. "I take it the mall went well?"

"Excellent," Alice beamed from the couch proudly. "Mary did great; the smell didn't seem to overwhelm her like I had thought it was going to."

I didn't quite see it the same way she did. As soon as those doors opened, the aroma hit me like a train. Alice had a firm hold of my arm the entire trip and refused to let me walk around on my own. Clearly she wasn't a mind reader, but she was intuitive enough to know what schemes my mind had been concocting.

It wasn't something I was proud of, nor something I had been doing consciously, it was just…instinct. I didn't actually want to hurt anyone, it was just a part of my nature now, a part of who I was, it was my own inner demon and I didn't think I was quite as ready to be tempted like that as Alice thought I was.

Edward gave my hand a reassuring squeeze and whispered so as only I was able to hear him. "You'll be fine, Mary. We won't let anything happen."

I trusted him, even though I didn't really trust myself. I gave him a small smile and decided that now was a good time to change the subject. "Where's Rose?"

"She went out." Edward put shortly. He had known that Rose and I hadn't really been speaking these last few days, and that wasn't at all my fault. I honestly had tried to talk to her, but she was always so short with me. And now, she was hardly ever around.

"Oh," I answered stupidly, looking down mind empty.

"Emmett was looking for you, though, Mary." Jasper said pleasantly as he entered the room, sitting himself comfortable next to Alice. "He said he had a surprise for you, or something along those lines."

I smiled at him, some part of me was excited to hear that sort of news. "Where is he?"

"His room." Jasper said, motioning his head in that direction. Alice was giggling, clearing having trouble containing herself as she had probably already seen this coming.

I rolled my eyes and playfully stuck my tongue out at her as I left the room and headed for the stairs, eager to see what he had in store for me. I loved surprises. I didn't even bother knocking at his door as I skipped through the hallway, I simply barged in.

Emmett was lounging on the bed, flipping through a magazine as if he weren't up to something just milliseconds before I had made my entry. Emmett looked up at me and smiled slyly. "Hey."

I laughed and placed myself onto his bed as well, laying out and relaxing. I figured I might as well play along; he was going to tell me eventually. "Hey."

Emmett looked up at me from his magazine, his fingers tracing patterns on my arm. "How was the mall?"

I sighed, "You want me to be honest with you?" I waited for him to nod before continuing. "I honestly thought I wasn't going to make it."

Emmett brushed my hair back from my face affectionately. There was no reproach in his eyes. "That's normal, Mary. I'm not going to lie and say it gets easier, because it doesn't." Before my eyes could reveal the shock at his words, he continued, "But you will learn to ignore it. It just takes time."

By the time he had finished speaking to me, his hands ended up in mine. I surprised myself when I didn't pull them away. When I spoke I was more vulnerable than I had meant to put out. "I hope so." I sighed, allowing my body to relax into his soft white sheets.

After a moment, I could see the mischievous glint growing in his eyes in my peripherals. I knew that the big surprise was coming. I couldn't keep the excited smile from growing on my face in anticipation.

Emmett let a seductive growl escape his throat and he rolled over so that his entire body was less than an inch above my own, he was clearly testing the waters and pushing me a little too far for one day. You give an inch…

I raised my eyebrows skeptically. "Emmett?"

"Yeah," His voice was low and sultry in my ears; it would be a major lie if I were to tell you that the sound and the proximity didn't give me chills.

"What the hell are you doing?"

Emmett placed a gentle and innocent kiss on my cheek that lingered for a little longer than usual before he spoke again, His body still didn't leave mine. "Take a look around, Mary. Notice anything new?"

I found it a little hard to focus on anything, to be honest, while he had me in this position. Actually, my mind did stray away to quite a few things, but none that I was willing to admit to as I had clearly heard Edward give a few coughs from downstairs to remind me that he and I were not alone.

_Eavesdropper, _I directed my thought down to the invasive company below and heard his snicker a little bit.

Emmett heard it to and grinned teasingly, "Mind running places?"

If I could have blushed, I would have, but I honestly didn't really care. Please, like Emmett didn't already know that I was thinking about that? That was the whole point of him putting on this little show.

It was then that I finally noticed it. The closet door was ajar slightly and I caught a glimpse of the yellow floral sundress that Alice had bought me a few weeks back. "Emmett?"

Emmett's smile broadened, "Yeah?"

"Why are my clothes in you closest?"

"Because," Emmett said rolling back over off of me, which probably was for his own protection. "You're moving in here with me."

I wanted to blow up in shock, but I knew that was what he had been expecting. Therefore, I simply shrugged and stood back up off the bed, "Alright." I walked over to his bookshelf where I had just noticed my collection of books had been stored just the same way I had kept them in my room. I selected one and came back over to the bed.

I hadn't been blind to the dumbstruck look that Emmett had been giving me as his mouth hung open stupidly. Being the smartass that I was, I shot him the same line that my dearest Edward had given me upon my arrival here. I didn't even tear my gaze from the blurring words on the page, and my voice didn't show my excited emotions, "Close your mouth, Emmett, you'll catch flies."

Once again, I heard Edward's laugh ring out from below.

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

Emmett had grown sick of all of us cramming into Edward's car for school, and I could see why. I didn't quite like it either. So when Emmett suggested that he and I leave a little early in his Jeep for our first day back from winter break, I didn't protest.

Actually, I had axed a lot of my protesting lately.

I had worn sunglasses today, even though there was no sun to be seen through the thick gray clouds that covered the sky. I was just hoping it would make the stark difference in my appearance that much less noticeable. Emmett plainly pointed out that it wasn't going to make a difference, putting a damper on my mood.

We pulled into the parking spot, taking the place that Edward's silver Volvo usually occupied. Emmett would hear his complaints later, but didn't seem to care. Everyone was already staring at the bright red monster that towered over all the other cars.

I took an unneeded nervous breath as Emmett turned the machine off, not looking forward to climbing out into the sea of whispering eyes. Emmett grabbed my hand reassuringly. "It is going to be alright, Mary."

"Yeah, sure." I muttered bitterly, not really in the mood for his constant stream of affection. "You're not the one who turned supermodel over a week's period."

"It could happen," Emmett shrugged. He wasn't taking my sour mood to heart, which I was glad for. It wasn't his fault and I didn't mean to offend him. Emmett beamed at me, "You were already so beautiful in the first place."

"Sure." I scoffed, throwing the passenger side door open. "Let's get this over with."

Emmett held up a hand, his face serious, telling me to wait. I watched as he exited the car first, and then went around so that he was by my side, his face playful again. His explanation was simple. "I have to be a gentleman."

I couldn't help but smile as he gingerly helped me out onto the ground like he used to have to when I was still human. "Always." Once my feet were firmly on the asphalt, Emmett's eyes appraised me. I watched as his frowned. I spoke with a little edge of insult. "What?"

Emmett's hands carefully tore the sunglasses away from my eyes, tossing them back into the passenger seat. My red eyes had been temporarily masked by contact lenses. There was no real way to explain a change in eye color, especially one that wasn't naturally occurring. As soon as everyone could get a clear look at me, I heard the swarm of whispers start. I dejected my gaze to my feet out of embarrassment at the attention.

In front of everyone and plainly for all of our onlookers to see, Emmett placed his large hands gently around my face and lifted so as to place a tender kiss on my cheek, his stony lips trailing from place to place along my cheekbone. The whispers grew but the swirling in my head at his touch allowed me to ignore it. Emmett spoke into my skin reassuringly. "I hate to see you hide your beautiful face, Mary."

I wanted to speak, but I couldn't muster the strength. My emotions sank a little when Emmett released my face and pulled away. My body longed for his touch again. As his hulking figure moved, allowing my to see my surroundings, it was clear why his had tore himself from me.

Edward's shiny silver Volvo had pulled up and Edward's swears said that he wasn't too happy of Emmett's parking place. Emmett grinned and shot me a wink. Altercation was what Emmett lived for, even if it were mere sibling rivalry and parking wars.

Edward bitterly took a spot a few places down and walked over to where Emmett and I were standing coolly. Like a child, he gave Emmett the cold shoulder, which only gave Emmett and even better high, "You ought to hear what everyone is thinking, Mary." Edward spoke to me with a polite, teasing smile, confirming my fears.

"I don't envy you that, Edward." I returned his smile jokingly as he stole me away from Emmett and led me to English a little early.

I was bored. Really bored. And being a vampire made it even harder to focus on things, especially like school that didn't interest me at all. Instead I took a liking to questioning Edward. "How come you don't have a girlfriend?"

I don't know why that question came into my head, but it came out of my mouth before I could think about manners. Edward didn't seem to mind. "I don't know. I just haven't met the right girl, I guess."

"Do you think you ever will?"

"No."

"No one good enough."

Edward laughed, "That isn't it, Mary. I thought you knew me better than that."

I shrugged, practically begging for more of an explanation.

"It is just hard for me," Edward sighed, lowering his voice more so that only I could hear him. "When you are always in people's heads…it's different. All social manners and pretenses….you see everyone for who they really are…not who they want to be."

I suppose it made since. "And sometimes they don't mean to be who they are in their head. Sometimes they are honestly good people on the outside…but on the inside…"

"They aren't. With me, people's inner demons aren't so inner… I have to deal with people; the good, the bad, and the ugly." Edward seemed sad, empty. It was then that I honestly understood how lonely his talent had made him. I felt sorry for him and what he had to go through.

I frowned and I felt awkward asking him anymore questions. I had pried enough. Edward chuckled a little and kissed my hair understandingly. "You aren't so bad, though, Mary."

I looked up at him curiously. "What do you mean?"

Edward shrugged nonchalantly. "You pretty much say and do everything you think anyways."

I shrugged too, knowing all too well how true that was.

Once the bell had rung, I had expected Rosalie to be waiting for me just like every other day. It would be a lie to say that I wasn't slightly offended when she was nowhere in sight. Edward pulled me into a hug as he cautioned me. "Be careful, Mary, she doesn't mean anything by it."

Sure enough, Rosalie was sitting in class at her normal seat. I stalked over, trying my best to pretend that nothing was wrong. I sat my stuff down and pulled out my normal chair, speaking politely. "Where were you?"

Rosalie grunted, when she realized that it wasn't a good enough answer for me she sighed haughtily and responded. "I figured you knew the way by now." After she spoke she turned her attention back to whatever she was doing.

That was it; I had felt my anger boil like acid inside of me, and it wasn't helping that everyone else had been eyeing me all day. I slammed my fist on the table, snapping the legs in half and watching as it collapsed beneath her at the force. Rosalie looked up seething.

I wasn't having any of her attitude. "What the hell is your problem, Rose?"

When Rosalie answered she held her nose up snottily. "I don't know what you are talking about."

"The hell you don't! You've been nothing but a bitch to me ever since last week!" I was shouting now and people had gathered around nosily to watch. Rosalie didn't answer.

"I'm done with it, Rose!" I continued, gathering my things. "Whenever you want to get off your snotty horse and start treating people like they are worth your time, come find me." I didn't even bother to look back as I stormed out. I was satisfied with what I had done and glad that she was clearly mulling it over a bit.

I stormed outside, and onto the football field, tossing my body onto the wet grass, blowing off some steam. It was a few minutes before I heard a familiar voice ring out from behind me. "Getting some eye candy?"

"Totally." I glanced back at Emmett and patted the patch of grass beside me, inviting him to sit. "Care to join in?"

Emmett took the invite eagerly and relaxed. After a few moments of eyeing the football team he spoke, pointing to one of them. "He's kind of hot."

I shrugged. "I don't go for blondes."

"What about him." Emmett pointed to another, playing along.

"He isn't beefy enough."

I could tell Emmett was smiling now, he pointed to himself. "Well what about this guy?"

I grinned, giving in. "Perfect."

Emmett smiled, pulling me into his chest. "I love you, Mary."

I don't know why, but I was feeling especially generous with him today. I spoke the words that had been weighing heavy on my mind for a while now. "I love you too."


	20. Chapter Twenty

I Write Sins, Not Tragedies

Chapter Twenty: Forgiveness and Mistakes

Rosalie cleared her throat, not meeting my eyes as she approached the lunch table. "Mary, may I have a word with you…in private?"

I was somewhat surprised, but could have easily predicted what was coming. I stood up from my chair and followed her over to an empty table. "Sure thing."

Sitting down she sighed, playing with her hands anxiously. It was a few moments before she spoke to me. "Mary, I'm sorry for the way I have been acting lately. I assure you it isn't anything personal, and I didn't mean to offend you." She spoke the words very fast, clearly wanting to get that over with. Rosalie was never the kind of girl to admit when she had been wrong.

Though, I was not going to accept such a short formal apology. I wanted an explanation and I was sure that I deserved one. "If it wasn't personal, what is it?" My tone was accidentally a little rude, feeling my anger rise as I had remembered just how much she had been pissing me off lately.

Rosalie sighed, pondering the thought. "I don't really know, Mary." Rosalie explained after a moment. "I know that sounds stupid and superficial, but I really just don't know. I would like to tell you it's because you're like this now and you're _happy_; but that isn't it. I think…" Rosalie paused, gathering the words. Finally she looked up at me, her yellow eyes liquid and sincere. "I think it's because I'm grieving for you, Mary, for everything you've lost."

I shook my head, getting ready to protest, but she spoke again stopping me. "Maybe it hasn't quite sunk in for you yet, but you don't realize exactly what has been taken from you. I have been through this, Mary; I know the consequences of what has been taken from you."

I didn't quite know what to say to her; clearly her reasoning was a little different than what I had pictured it being. I hadn't planned out a witty remark for this. Looking up at her, I understood and I being totally honest with my apology despite all the anger I had been feeling towards her. "I'm sorry too, Rosalie. That I yelled at you in front of everyone."

Rosalie held up her hand, stopping me right there. "I shouldn't have let it get that far. I deserved to be embarrassed. You whipped me back to reality." Rosalie finished with a smile and stood up, signaling that everything was behind us now.

It honestly felt good, knowing that everything with her had been solved and was going to return to normal. On my stride towards our familiar table, however, I was stopped by the hyena Jessica Stanley, who greeted me with her familiarly fake smile. "Mary, just the girl I was looking to talk to!"

"Oh. Hi." I answered her plainly, not even bothering to smile.

Jessica giggled and appraised my newly vampiric body green eyed with envy. "Look at you, you gorgeous fox!"

I gave a halfhearted laugh, and shrugged, answering her cryptic question with the obvious. "Alice and Rosalie got to me over break, what can I say?"

"Well then," Jessica teased with another annoying giggle, "I'd sure like to let Alice and Rosalie get to me, hun. Do you have any idea how many guys are talking about you?"

The look on my face must have been horrific because Jessica put her hand on my arm reassuringly. "Nothing bad I can assure you that much."

I gave a very short laugh at the girl, "Right. I'm…I'm gonna go eat, then."

I didn't wait for her to answer before I took off towards my family with a very annoyed look on my face. "Easy there, tiger." Jasper chuckled as I took my seat, clearly feeling the mix of emotions that had been radiating off of me.

Emmett gave my hand a reassuring squeeze.

I didn't know why, but I suddenly felt that with all this new attention and changes in Emmett and mine's relationship, that I just wanted to be alone for a while. "Guys … I'm gonna head home. Emmett, do you mind if I take the Jeep?"

Emmett shook his head, looking a little concerned at my sudden down spiral of a mood. "No, not at all. What's the matter?"

I smiled a little at him, in a feeble attempt to reassure his worries, "Nothing. I'm just…I don't know. I'm fine, though."

Knowing that there was no point in fighting it with me, Emmett dove his hands into his pockets and tossed me the keys. Before I headed off for the parking lot, Emmett spoke out to me. "Be careful with my baby, baby."

I couldn't help but smile a little at his humor. Emmett always had something to say to cheer me up. I found his monster of a Jeep with ease, with a lot of effort in pulling myself in as I was shorter than the towering tires, and started it up. I didn't know where I was going, but I just needed to be somewhere. Somewhere alone.

Much of Forks was highway, and much was the same on the way towards the Cullen home. With my new found craving for speed, I had arrived in less than ten minutes. I didn't bother going in to announce my arrival to Esme, she no doubt heard me pull in. Instead I headed for the woods; I had grown thirsty being around the smell of blood all day.

I ran, not knowing my direction, I had just wanted to be far away from it all, to distance myself from the world as it were. I didn't want people, I didn't want family, I didn't even want Emmett at the moment. I just wanted me.

It was in this moment that I feel like I had begun the grieving process, and I had really begun to miss my old self. I had felt that longing for humanity hit me full force, just like Rosalie had said and I had felt a burning hatred towards what I was.

However I couldn't bring myself to hold a grudge towards Jasper, my beloved brother. Jasper had done enough of the hating upon himself, and being honest, I loved him too much to even think of being angry with him. While it had taken a while for Jasper and I to grow close, our blooming friendship had been great, and to say I enjoyed his company was an understatement.

No, I couldn't blame Jasper.

I could only blame myself.

It was me who crashed that car.

It was me who killed my mother.

It was me that caused Emmett to abandon his wonderful family.

It was me who intruded on them.

It was me who crashed onto the glass ornament.

And it was me who chose my own fate.

It all started with a stupid CD.

Perhaps my thoughts were getting away from me too fast, or perhaps the smell had hit me when I was most vulnerable to it. All I knew was there was now going to be a murder added to my pitiful mistake list as I was suddenly beside myself, rushing towards the smell of that sudden luscious human blood.


	21. Chapter TwentyOne

I Write Sins, Not Tragedies

Chapter Twenty-One: Decision

"Mary?" The voice could barely be heard through my ears. I was standing there, frozen and still. This man was young, innocent. Dead. I had killed him and it was his blood that had covered my ivory shirt and painted my pale skin.

"Oh, Mary." The voice was a sigh, echoing my emotions. I could barely recognize Edward's soothing tone. I slowly turned around, my eyes filled with remorse and terror. I hadn't even realized I had done it before it had been too late.

If I could have cried, I would have been sobbing.

Edward looked terrified too, probably at my appearance. I had been sloppy in my actions. Little flashes of the event were coming into my mind, he had fought back, he had wanted to live. I had felt a sick lump growing in my throat. I had taken my first life.

Edward approached me slowly, looking at the corpse that littered the ground.

My breath hitched with the tears that wouldn't spill.

I saw as Emmett appeared in the distance, his eyes wide with fear and sorrow as he looked at the pain that filled my bright crimson eyes. Slowly he walked towards me and enclosed me in his arms cautiously. The only reason he didn't speak was because he didn't know the words to say.

"I-I-I" My words were lost and hysterical.

"Shhhh, it's okay." Emmett quieted me softly. "It will be okay."

"I didn't mean to..." My voice was shrill and distant.

"Shhh, I know, I know."

Edward interrupted him, "Emmett, get her back home. I have to deal with this."

I was out of myself as Emmett led me away, holding me upwards in his arms. I wasn't seeing anything or hearing anything. I was numb, unbelieving of what I have just done. My only notice that I had arrived back home was the sheets and soft bed underneath me.

Emmett had laid himself next to me, but I rolled over and faced away from him, unable to look him in the eyes. The guilt and that terrible remorse were unbearable.

Emmett sighed after a moment or so had passed, placing a kiss on my head. "I'll leave you alone for a moment, Mary; if that's what you'd like."

I feebly found the strength to nod, and willingly he left, closing the door behind him.

I believe a day or so had passed and no one bothered to disturb me. I had heard them mention me below, but my mind couldn't fit the words into sentences that would stick into my mind. I never wanted to leave the house, I never wanted to risk being around people.

I hadn't realized Jasper had entered the room until he was seated in the leather armchair in front of me, thinking of what to say. If anyone would be able to make me feel even a sliver bit better, it would have been him.

"I know how hard it is, Mary." Jasper finally spoke, finding the words, "I didn't have quite the same . . . upbringing as my adopted siblings here. My beginning was something else entirely." His voice turned hard as he finished.

"Before I tell you my story," Jasper said, "you must understand that there are places in our world, Mary, where the life span of the never-aging is measured in weeks, and not centuries."

"To really understand why, you have to look at the world from a different perspective. You have to imagine the way it looks to the powerful, the greedy . . . the perpetually thirsty.

"You see, there are places in this world that are more desirable to us than others. Places where we can be less restrained, and still avoid detection.

"Picture, for instance, a map of the western hemisphere. Picture on it every human life as a small red dot. The thicker the red, the more easily we — well, those who exist this way — can feed without attracting notice."

"Not that the covens in the South care much for what the humans notice or do not. It's the Volturi that keep them in check. They are the only ones the southern covens fear. If not for the Volturi, the rest of us would be quickly exposed."

"What's the Volturi?" I shook my head, uncomprehending. I barely recognized my own voice, as I hadn't used it in almost a week.

Jasper chuckled, probably glad that I had actually spoken to him, "Right. Forgot we haven't told you that yet. The Volturi are basically the royalty of our kind, Mary. They make the rules, we follow the rules, but most importantly: they enforce the rules."

"The North is, by comparison, very civilized. Mostly we are nomads here who enjoy the day as well as the night, who allow humans to interact with us unsuspectingly — anonymity is important to us all.

"It's a different world in the South. The immortals there come out only at night. They spend the day plotting their next move, or anticipating their enemy's. Because it has been war in the South, constant war for centuries, with never one moment of truce. The covens there barely note the existence of humans, except as soldiers notice a herd of cows by the wayside — food for the taking. They only hide from the notice of the herd because of the Volturi."

"But what are they fighting for?" I asked.

"You see, it occurred to someone once that, if he were the only vampire in, let's say Mexico City, well then, he could feed every night, twice, three times, and no one would ever notice. He plotted ways to get rid of the competition.

"Others had the same idea. Some came up with more effective tactics than others.

"But the most effective tactic was invented by a fairly young vampire named Benito. The first anyone ever heard of him, he came down from somewhere north of Dallas and massacred the two small covens that shared the area near Houston. Two nights later, he took on the much stronger clan of allies that claimed Monterrey in northern Mexico. Again, he won."

"How did he win?" I asked with wary curiosity.

"Benito had created an army of newborn vampires. He was the first one to think of it, and, in the beginning, he was unstoppable. Very young vampires are volatile, wild, and almost impossible to control.

One newborn can be reasoned with, taught to restrain himself, but ten, fifteen together are a nightmare.

They'll turn on each other as easily as on the enemy you point them at. Benito had to keep making more as they fought amongst themselves, and as the covens he decimated took more than half his force down before they lost.

"You see, though newborns are dangerous, they are still possible to defeat if you know what you're doing. They're incredibly powerful physically, for the first year or so, and if they're allowed to bring strength to bear they can crush an older vampire with ease. But they are slaves to their instincts, and thus predictable. Usually, they have no skill in fighting, only muscle and ferocity. And in this case, overwhelming numbers."

"The vampires in southern Mexico realized what was coming for them, and they did the only thing they could think of to counteract Benito. They made armies of their own. . . .

"All hell broke loose — and I mean that more literally than you can possibly imagine. We immortals have our histories, too, and this particular war will never be forgotten. Of course, it was not a good time to be human in Mexico, either."

I shuddered.

"When the body count reached epidemic proportions — in fact, your histories blame a disease for the population slump — the Volturi finally stepped in. The entire guard came together and sought out every newborn in the bottom half of North America. Benito was entrenched in Puebla, building his army as quickly as he could in order to take on the prize — Mexico City. The Volturi started with him, and then moved on to the rest.

"Anyone who was found with the newborns was executed immediately, and, since everyone was trying to protect themselves from Benito, Mexico was emptied of vampires for a time.

"The Volturi were cleaning house for almost a year. This was another chapter of our history that will always be remembered, though there were very few witnesses left to speak of what it was like. I spoke to someone once who had, from a distance, watched what happened when they visited Culiacán."

Jasper shuddered. I realized that I had never before seen him either afraid or horrified. This was a first.

"It was enough that the fever for conquest did not spread from the South. The rest of the world stayed sane. We owe the Volturi for our present way of life.

"But when the Volturi went back to Italy, the survivors were quick to stake their claims in the South.

"It didn't take long before covens began to dispute again. There was a lot of bad blood, if you'll forgive the expression. Vendettas abounded. The idea of newborns was already there, and some were not able to resist. However, the Volturi had not been forgotten, and the southern covens were more careful this time. The newborns were selected from the human pool with more care, and given more training. They were used circumspectly, and the humans remained, for the most part, oblivious. Their creators gave the Volturi no reason to return.

"The wars resumed, but on a smaller scale. Every now and then, someone would go too far, speculation would begin in the human newspapers, and the Volturi would return and clean out the city. But they let the others, the careful ones, continue. . . ."

Jasper was staring off into space.

"That's how you were changed." My realization was a whisper.

"Yes," he agreed. "When I was human, I lived in Houston, Texas. I was almost seventeen years old when I joined the Confederate Army in 1861. I lied to the recruiters and told them I was twenty. I was tall enough to get away with it.

"My military career was short-lived, but very promising. People always . . . liked me, listened to what I had to say. My father said it was charisma. Of course, now I know it was probably something more. But, whatever the reason, I was promoted quickly through the ranks, over older, more experienced men. The Confederate Army was new and scrambling to organize itself, so that provided opportunities, as well. By the first battle of Galveston — well, it was more of a skirmish, really — I was the youngest major in Texas, not even acknowledging my real age.

"I was placed in charge of evacuating the women and children from the city when the Union's mortar boats reached the harbor. It took a day to prepare them, and then I left with the first column of civilians to convey them to Houston.

"I remember that one night very clearly.

"We reached the city after dark. I stayed only long enough to make sure the entire party was safely situated. As soon as that was done, I got myself a fresh horse, and I headed back to Galveston. There wasn't time to rest.

"Just a mile outside the city, I found three women on foot. I assumed they were stragglers and dismounted at once to offer them my aid. But, when I could see their faces in the dim light of the moon, I was stunned into silence. They were, without question, the three most beautiful women I had ever seen.

"They had such pale skin, I remember marveling at it. Even the little black-haired girl, whose features were clearly Mexican, was porcelain in the moonlight. They seemed young, all of them, still young enough to be called girls. I knew they were not lost members of our party. I would have remembered seeing these three.

"'He's speechless,' the tallest girl said in a lovely, delicate voice — it was like wind chimes. She had fair hair, and her skin was snow white.

"The other was blonder still, her skin just as chalky. Her face was like an angel's. She leaned toward me with half-closed eyes and inhaled deeply.

"'Mmm,' she sighed. 'Lovely.'

"The small one, the tiny brunette, put her hand on the girl's arm and spoke quickly. Her voice was too soft and musical to be sharp, but that seemed to be the way she intended it.

"'Concentrate, Nettie,' she said.

"I'd always had a good sense of how people related to each other, and it was immediately clear that the brunette was somehow in charge of the others. If they'd been military, I would have said that she outranked them.

"'He looks right — young, strong, an officer. . . . ' The brunette paused, and I tried unsuccessfully to speak. 'And there's something more . . . do you sense it?' she asked the other two. 'He's . . . compelling.'

"'Oh, yes,' Nettie quickly agreed, leaning toward me again.

"'Patience,' the brunette cautioned her. 'I want to keep this one.'

"Nettie frowned; she seemed annoyed.

"'You'd better do it, Maria,' the taller blonde spoke again. 'If he's important to you. I kill them twice as often as I keep them.'

"'Yes, I'll do it,' Maria agreed. 'I really do like this one. Take Nettie away, will you? I don't want to have to protect my back while I'm trying to focus.'

"My hair was standing up on the back of my neck, though I didn't understand the meaning of anything the beautiful creatures were saying. My instincts told me that there was danger, that the angel had meant it when she spoke of killing, but my judgment overruled my instincts. I had not been taught to fear women, but to protect them.

"'Let's hunt,' Nettie agreed enthusiastically, reaching for the tall girl's hand. They wheeled — they were so graceful! — and sprinted toward the city. They seemed to almost take flight, they were so fast — their white dresses blew out behind them like wings. I blinked in amazement, and they were gone.

"I turned to stare at Maria, who was watching me curiously.

"I'd never been superstitious in my life. Until that second, I'd never believed in ghosts or any other such nonsense. Suddenly, I was unsure.

"'What is your name, soldier?' Maria asked me.

"'Major Jasper Whitlock, ma'am,' I stammered, unable to be impolite to a female, even if she was a ghost.

"'I truly hope you survive, Jasper,' she said in her gentle voice. 'I have a good feeling about you.'

"She took a step closer, and inclined her head as if she were going to kiss me. I stood frozen in place, though my instincts were screaming at me to run."

Jasper paused, his face thoughtful. "A few days later," he finally said, and I wasn't sure if he had edited his story for my sake or because he was responding to the tension that even I could feel exuding from Edward, "I was introduced to my new life.

"Their names were Maria, Nettie, and Lucy. They hadn't been together long — Maria had rounded up the other two — all three were survivors of recently lost battles. Theirs was a partnership of convenience. Maria wanted revenge, and she wanted her territories back. The others were eager to increase their . . . herd lands, I suppose you could say. They were putting together an army, and going about it more carefully than was usual. It was Maria's idea. She wanted a superior army, so she sought out specific humans who had potential. Then she gave us much more attention, more training than anyone else had bothered with. She taught us to fight, and she taught us to be invisible to the humans. When we did well, we were rewarded. . . ."

He paused, editing again. "She was in a hurry, though. Maria knew that the massive strength of the newborn began to wane around the year mark, and she wanted to act while we were strong.

"There were six of us when I joined Maria's band. She added four more within a fortnight. We were all male — Maria wanted soldiers — and that made it slightly more difficult to keep from fighting amongst ourselves. I fought my first battles against my new comrades in arms. I was quicker than the others, better at combat. Maria was pleased with me, though put out that she had to keep replacing the ones I destroyed. I was rewarded often, and that made me stronger.

"Maria was a good judge of character. She decided to put me in charge of the others — as if I were being promoted. It suited my nature exactly. The casualties went down dramatically, and our numbers swelled to hover around twenty.

"This was considerable for the cautious times we lived in. My ability, as yet undefined, to control the emotional atmosphere around me was vitally effective. We soon began to work together in a way that newborn vampires had never cooperated before. Even Maria, Nettie, and Lucy were able to work together more easily.

"Maria grew quite fond of me — she began to depend upon me. And, in some ways, I worshipped the ground she walked on. I had no idea that any other life was possible. Maria told us this was the way things were, and we believed.

"She asked me to tell her when my brothers and I were ready to fight, and I was eager to prove myself. I pulled together an army of twenty-three in the end — twenty-three unbelievably strong new vampires, organized and skilled as no others before. Maria was ecstatic.

"We crept down toward Monterrey, her former home, and she unleashed us on her enemies. They had only nine newborns at the time, and a pair of older vampires controlling them. We took them down more easily than Maria could believe, losing only four in the process. It was an unheard-of margin of victory.

"And we were well trained. We did it without attracting notice. The city changed hands without any human being aware.

"Success made Maria greedy. It wasn't long before she began to eye other cities. That first year, she extended her control to cover most of Texas and northern Mexico. Then the others came from the South to dislodge her."

He brushed two fingers along the faint pattern of scars on his arm.

"The fighting was intense. Many began to worry that the Volturi would return. Of the original twenty-three, I was the only one to survive the first eighteen months. We both won and lost. Nettie and

Lucy turned on Maria eventually — but that one we won.

"Maria and I were able to hold on to Monterrey. It quieted a little, though the wars continued. The idea of conquest was dying out; it was mostly vengeance and feuding now. So many had lost their partners, and that is something our kind does not forgive. . . .

"Maria and I always kept a dozen or so newborns ready. They meant little to us — they were pawns, they were disposable. When they outgrew their usefulness, we did dispose of them. My life continued in the same violent pattern and the years passed. I was sick of it all for a very long time before anything changed . . .

"Decades later, I developed a friendship with a newborn who'd remained useful and survived his first three years, against the odds. His name was Peter. I liked Peter; he was . . . civilized — I suppose that's the right word. He didn't enjoy the fight, though he was good at it.

"He was assigned to deal with the newborns — babysit them, you could say. It was a full-time job.

"And then it was time to purge again. The newborns were outgrowing their strength; they were due to be replaced. Peter was supposed to help me dispose of them. We took them aside individually, you see, one by one . . . It was always a very long night. This time, he tried to convince me that a few had potential, but Maria had instructed that we get rid of them all. I told him no.

"We were about halfway through, and I could feel that it was taking a great toll on Peter. I was trying to decide whether or not I should send him away and finish up myself as I called out the next victim. To my surprise, he was suddenly angry, furious. I braced for whatever his mood might foreshadow — he was a good fighter, but he was never a match for me.

"The newborn I'd summoned was a female, just past her year mark. Her name was Charlotte. His feelings changed when she came into view; they gave him away. He yelled for her to run, and he bolted after her. I could have pursued them, but I didn't. I felt . . . averse to destroying him.

"Maria was irritated with me for that . . .

"Five years later, Peter snuck back for me. He picked a good day to arrive.

"Maria was mystified by my ever-deteriorating frame of mind. She'd never felt a moment's depression, and I wondered why I was different. I began to notice a change in her emotions when she was near me — sometimes there was fear . . . and malice — the same feelings that had given me advance warning when Nettie and Lucy struck. I was preparing myself to destroy my only ally, the core of my existence, when Peter returned.

"Peter told me about his new life with Charlotte, told me about options I'd never dreamed I had. In five years, they'd never had a fight, though they'd met many others in the north. Others who could co-exist without the constant mayhem.

"In one conversation, he had me convinced. I was ready to go, and somewhat relieved I wouldn't have to kill Maria. I'd been her companion for as many years as Carlisle and Edward have been together, yet the bond between us was nowhere near as strong. When you live for the fight, for the blood, the relationships you form are tenuous and easily broken. I walked away without a backward glance.

"I traveled with Peter and Charlotte for a few years, getting the feel of this new, more peaceful world. But the depression didn't fade. I didn't understand what was wrong with me, until Peter noticed that it was always worse after I'd hunted.

"I contemplated that. In so many years of slaughter and carnage, I'd lost nearly all of my humanity. I was undeniably a nightmare, a monster of the grisliest kind. Yet each time I found another human victim, I would feel a faint prick of remembrance for that other life. Watching their eyes widen in wonder at my beauty, I could see Maria and the others in my head, what they had looked like to me the last night that I was Jasper Whitlock. It was stronger for me — this borrowed memory — than it was for anyone else, because I could feel everything my prey was feeling. And I lived their emotions as I killed them.

"You've experienced the way I can manipulate the emotions around myself, Mary, but I wonder if you realize how the feelings in a room affect me . I live every day in a climate of emotion. For the first century of my life, I lived in a world of bloodthirsty vengeance. Hate was my constant companion. It eased some when I left Maria, but I still had to feel the horror and fear of my prey.

"It began to be too much.

"The depression got worse, and I wandered away from Peter and Charlotte. Civilized as they were, they didn't feel the same aversion I was beginning to feel. They only wanted peace from the fight. I was so wearied by killing — killing anyone, even mere humans.

"Yet I had to keep killing. What choice did I have? I tried to kill less often, but I would get too thirsty and I would give in. After a century of instant gratification, I found self-discipline . . . challenging. I still haven't perfected that."

Jasper was lost in the story, as was I. It surprised me when his desolate expression smoothed into a peaceful smile.

"I was in Philadelphia. There was a storm, and I was out during the day — something I was not completely comfortable with yet. I knew standing in the rain would attract attention, so I ducked into a little half-empty diner. My eyes were dark enough that no one would notice them, though this meant I was thirsty, and that worried me a little.

"She was there — expecting me, naturally." He chuckled once. "She hopped down from the high stool at the counter as soon as I walked in and came directly toward me.

"It shocked me. I was not sure if she meant to attack. That's the only interpretation of her behavior my past had to offer. But she was smiling. And the emotions that were emanating from her were like nothing I'd ever felt before.

"'You've kept me waiting a long time,' she said."

I didn't realize Alice had come into the room to join us, I jumped at her voice.

"And you ducked your head, like a good Southern gentleman, and said, 'I'm sorry, ma'am.'" Alice laughed at the memory.

Jasper smiled down at her. "You held out your hand, and I took it without stopping to make sense of what I was doing. For the first time in almost a century, I felt hope."

Jasper took Alice's hand as he spoke.

Alice grinned. "I was just relieved. I thought you were never going to show up."

They smiled at each other for a long moment, and then Jasper looked back to me, the soft expression lingering.

"Alice told me what she'd seen of Carlisle and his family. I could hardly believe that such an existence was possible. But Alice made me optimistic. So we went to find them."

"Scared the hell out of them, too," Edward said, rolling his eyes at Jasper before turning to me to explain. "Emmett and I were away hunting. Jasper shows up, covered in battle scars, towing this little freak" — he nudged Alice playfully — "who greets them all by name, knows everything about them, and wants to know which room she can move into."

Alice and Jasper laughed in harmony, soprano and bass.

"When I got home, all my things were in the garage," Edward too had joined us.

Alice shrugged. "Your room had the best view."

They all laughed together now.

"That's a nice story," I said.

Three pairs of eyes questioned my sanity.

"I mean the last part," I defended myself. "The happy ending with Alice."

"Alice has made all the difference," Jasper agreed. "This is a climate I enjoy."

I sighed, and I was glad that everyone would now obediently obey my one demand. "I'm not going back to school…I don't want to be around people….I can't right now."

Edward smiled affectionately and moved a strand of my black hair back behind my ears in ready agreement. "You can stay back as long as you'd like, Mary. There is no rush."


	22. Chapter TwentyOne and a Half

I stared down at my packed suitcase, determined to keep myself strong mentally. I knew that I needed time, but what I didn't know was how Emmett was going to take my departure. Naturally Alice had seen it coming, and Edward had known my decision as soon as I had thought it. However they respected my wishes when I had asked them to keep it a secret from everyone else.

I didn't know where I was going to go. Being honest with myself, I realized that I had nowhere to go. Where ever I would be, I would be alone. Alice promised that no matter how worried she got, she wouldn't watch after my decisions. I wanted to be alone.

It may have seemed little, one little slip up, one little murder. To me it didn't matter, it was murder none the less, and as of right now, I didn't feel quite worthy of living with the Cullen family and all their glory. I needed a time to my own.

Taking one reassuring breath, I hoisted my suitcase into my arms, and headed down the stairs towards the towering mahogany door. It was something I had to do.

**Authors Note: **_A little bit of a teaser, eh? Well, I received a message from a fan who is going to remain unnamed who said my story has turned into somwhat of a joke and it is getting worse and worse with each chapter. So, I've got this wild idea to go forward in my story that you guys are going to either love or hate. Let's see how this goes? Let me know what you think, drop me some ideas, or even some words of encouragement? Please?_


	23. Chapter Twenty Two

I Write Sins, Not Tragedies

Chapter Twenty-Two: Goodbyes and Departures

_Emmett,_

_ By the time you find this letter, I will be long gone. _

_ It is nothing you have done, and there is nothing you could have done to have changed my mind. This is something that I need to do for myself before I come back and be with you once more. I never lied to you, Em, and especially not when I had said that I loved you. I do._

_ Please don't be upset with me, Emmett, I honestly can't deal with that right now. I just want you to be happy and to continue on with everything as you had before I came into your life. I promise you that I will come back and be with you, and I'll be better than before._

_ I just need some space._

_ I love you, darling,_

_ Mary._

I stared down at my packed suitcase, determined to keep myself strong mentally. I knew that I needed time, but what I didn't know was how Emmett was going to take my departure. Naturally Alice had seen it coming, and Edward had known my decision as soon as I had thought it. However they respected my wishes when I had asked them to keep it a secret from everyone else.

I didn't know where I was going to go. Being honest with myself, I realized that I had nowhere to go. Where ever I would be, I would be alone. Alice promised that no matter how worried she got, she wouldn't watch after my decisions. I wanted to be alone.

It may have seemed little, one little slip up, one little murder. To me it didn't matter, it was murder none the less, and as of right now, I didn't feel quite worthy of living with the Cullen family and all their glory. I needed a time to my own.

Taking one reassuring breath, I hoisted my suitcase into my arms, and headed down the stairs towards the towering mahogany door. It was something I had to do.

There was no need for a car; I had the speed necessary to get away from here without needing to resort to grand theft auto. After all, I didn't need a record. All I needed to do was to get away from here before Emmett got home from school.

Before I had reached the end of the drive, however, Esme had caught up with me. She knew that it was pointless to try to get me to change my mind, so I was glad that she didn't bother. Instead her topaz pools met my crimson ones and she took hold of my hand. "Mary. Please. Be careful."

There was emotion in her voice, lots of concern for me. And it sent an electric shock to my heart. I knew that my words were a lie, as I couldn't give any of the Cullen's any sort of promise as to a safe return, or if I was returning at all. I had to force the words out. "I will."

As soon as the lie had come across my lips, the expected weight of guilt hit me like a bus. I hated lying, especially to someone as kind and genuine as Esme. However with everything that has happened in my life, and so incredibly quickly, I need some time to clear my mind. Whatever it was that that actually entitled, and how long it was actually going to take me, wasn't something that I had actually given an extraneous train of thought to.

One of the things that I have loved the most about my adoptive mother was her ability to give us our own independence, and not give us too much hell, no matter how much of it we actually put her through. I could tell she wasn't exactly favoring my idea for leaving, but she simply convinced herself with one final affectionate hug, to allow me to go off on my own, but not before handing me an envelope with my name elegantly scrawled on the front.

I waited until she was out of sight before I gentle tore open the edges, pulling out a neat piece of paper and a brief explanation written out. It was their one request of me.:

_Mary,_

_ We know that trying to stop you would be useless, you aren't usually one to follow the typical advice and are far too determined to change your mind once it has been made up, there is no changing it. However, we do ask that you do give us one request._

_ There are a group of vampires that I have grown familiar with over the centuries, and while they are not exactly our sort nor do they agree with our ways, they have agreed to give you a home for as long as you wish to be on your own._

_ I do believe that you will learn a lot with these people. Not only about our kind, our laws, and all of our secrets; but also about yourself and your goals._

_ Of course, if you happen to have changed your mind completely, you are always welcome to come back whenever you'd like. We love you, Mary, all of us do._

_Please take care,_

_Carlisle._

I smiled at the note, and folded it back up, placing it safely in my pants pocket. At least Carlisle understood what I had truly needed, and worked it out so that I would have somewhere safe to go. Of course I was going to take him up on his one request, after all, it must have taken quite a bit of time and effort for him to convince someone to take in a stranger.

I had almost ignored the envelope, until another thing caught my eye. Upon examining the contents further, I noticed a plane ticket and a paper explaining to me of what I was supposed to do when I landed in…._Italy!_

What the cuss! Was Carlisle really sending me for a stay with the Volturi? The vampire royalty of our kind were going to take me in to live with them? How the hell did Carlisle know them, and let alone know them well enough to have them do him a favor.

What else did I not know about this man?

After I had gotten over my initial shock and surprise, I turned my heels toward the airport, noticing that my time before Emmett would pull up the drive would be limited, and prepared myself for my departure.


	24. Chapter Twenty Three

I Write Sins, Not Tragedies

Chapter Twenty-Three: Tides

"What can I get you to drink Miss?" The flight attendant's female voice rand in through my ears; I opened my eyes from their rest and eyed her. She was fairly attractive for a human, though with my vampire eyes I was better able to see her flaws. Wrinkles around her blue eyes were beginning to show her age, and there were slight discolorations due to her sun exposure; her hair was an unnatural blonde color and the root regrowth was getting under my skin.

"Water, please." I decided to keep it simple; after all, I didn't even plan to touch the drink, only ordering it for the purpose of keeping up with the pretense. After a twenty-five hour flight, humans would get thirsty. It was almost too easy to forget what it really had been like, being human.

The woman smiled at me, a cheeky grin that highlighted the lines around her eyes. "Sure thing, sweetie." After she poured me out some water she spoke again. "Do you model or something? You really are the prettiest thing I've ever seen."

I smiled awkwardly at her compliment. I was never one for flattering attention. "Err…no, I don't. But thank you."

The lady smiled and nodded and drove her trolley down the aisle, serving other passengers. I leaned my chair back once more and rested my head against the pillow I had purchased, closing my eyes and enjoying the music Edward had selectively added to my Ipod.

And then the pain came as soon as I had thought of my brother and my best friend. I sure did already miss his company.

I tried to force away any thoughts and memories of the Cullens as we sored through the air. I really didn't want to be tempted to leap from the plane and run back home. That would have been too conspicuous. Silently I reminded myself that it was me who had made the decision to leave, and it was me who was going to stick to my guns.

And then I thought of my life size teddy bear, Emmett Cullen and I felt my heart sink slightly deeper. No doubt he had found my note and I had wondered how he was taking it. My normally good natured, always guesting boyfriend rarely took anything as offence. Did that change?

I took a deep unneeded breath in order to steady myself and my emotions. "Just relax, Mary." I whispered quietly to no one. "Just breathe."

Instead I took to thinking of the mystery that was about to unfold before me. Who were the Volturi? I had heard Jasper mention them to me about two weeks either, but he didn't go into any real detail except for that they were basically the vampire royal family.

Carlisle had left me very little clues in his farewell note. The only mentionable thing was that they 'are not like us'. What exactly did that mean? Carlisle also said they were people who could teach me a lot about myself. Puzzling.

I must have really been thinking for a long time, because the tedious flight seemed merely minutes long. Before I had known it, I was stepping off the plane and into the beautiful rolling hills and vineyard valleys of Italy.

While I was taking in what little I was able to see, I could tell from my peripherals that I was being approached by someone. I only noted her appearance after she had spoken to me, her words were not a question. "Mary Cullen?"

I was almost shocked, it was the first time anyone had actually addressed me by my married name instead of referring to me as Mary Renner or Mary Hale. I stared at the girl, who was fairly young—perhaps sixteen years old—and noted that she too was a vampire. Her hair was straight and brown, worn about her shoulders and her eyes were a bright crimson like my own. "Yes?"

The girl nodded in greeting and began leading the way to a black car. "My name is Jane, I was sent to retrieve you from your arrival. I trust your flight was pleasant?"

It wasn't concern in her voice, nor curiosity. Just manners. "Er…yeah, I suppose."

Jane nodded again and continued on. She gave me the impression that she was the no nonsense kind of woman, and I admired that. It was a change. "Aro and the others are anxious to meet you. Before you arrive there to a shock, however, I have been asked to inform you about my coven and our special talents. Aro can see every thought that has ever crossed your mind, simply by a single touch. Demetri is a lethal and deadly tracker. My brother Alec is able to numb and block out your physical feelings, while I am able to cause tortuous pain."

I was somewhat shocked at how matter of fact she said it all. She was very business-like. "Oh, well…that sounds…handy?"

Once again, Jane gave a short nod. It was silent after that. After a while had passed and the rain had begun to pick up she spoke again. "We're here." Jane stated as she, after passing an impressive gate, drove up the driveway of a medieval castle. And not a small one, either - one thing I had to give the Volturi; they certainly had style.

It really surprised me that Carlisle let me live with non-vegetarian vampires; he must either really trust me to uphold myself or want to get rid of me. I think the last option was out. So what did the Volturi have that made Carlisle so trusting? Jane was cool, but not necessarily a woman I would consider one of principles. But what had Carlisle said? The Volturi were the kind of people I would need now.


	25. Chapter Twenty Four

I Write Sins, Not Tragedies

Chapter Twenty-Four: Shocker

"I believe," said Aro clasping his hands together thoughtfully in front of his handsome face. "That you may be what I like to call, and intupath." Aro was the leader of the Volturi coven, the head honcho, the el numero uno, the king. Whatever you would wish to refer to him as. Aro was in his mid to late twenties and was incredibly handsome.

"A what?" I asked him suddenly.

Aro took a breath and began to pace around in front of me. I was quite curious after I had been summoned by him suddenly after spending a little over a year with the coven, I had expected whatever it was to have been bad. Aro placed a hand on my shoulder before he spoke again, trying to be inconspicuous about gathering my thoughts. "You have spent a long while among the Cullen family and you have no doubt witnessed what they are able to do."

"Of course," I began, "Jasper can decipher and control emotions, Alice can see the future, and Edward can read minds. Pardon me, sir, but I don't exactly see how any of that applies to me as I can do neither."

Aro patiently directed me to an open chair in his office, setting me down and speaking kindly. "Of course, my dear, you are looking at it entirely wrong. A vampire's ability does not manifest itself in the same way other's do, meaning no two vampires will ever have the same exact talent. What you can do, Mary, is not as strong or as intense as what your siblings can do, but instead a dulled mixture of all three."

"I don't think I completely understand, sir." I admitted stupidly.

Aro paused for a minute, thinking of a better way to word his previous statement. "Mary, have you ever had that feeling, a feeling that something terrible or incredible is about to happen?"

"Yes," I answered.

"What about this; have you ever been able to look at someone and just know what it is they are thinking or feeling, maybe even absorb or decipher their intentions?" Aro's glazed over crimson eyes were alight with insight and excitement.

"Yes, but sir, it is never perfectly,"

"Perfectly clear?" Aro finished knowledgably. "It's more like a very potent intuition then?"

"Exactly." I finished.

Aro smiled; clearly I had made his point for him. "Exactly."

Aro stood up and moved around towards me, taking hold of one of my hands and staring into my now yellow eyes. Here was the one place I wasn't ever really tempted to stray from the diet I had always been taught, and none of the Volturi ever pressured me into giving into their ways. I was glad for that.

"My dear," Aro began softly. "You have been with us for over a year already, I would like to offer you a more…permanent arrangement here among us. If you would like that of course."

I knew immediately what my choice was, without even having to think it. For in the exact moment the offer had exited his lips, Emmett's broad face split across my mind. "That is very kind of you, Aro, but I have already made promises about my return that I intend to keep."

Aro released my hand and waved his dismissively. "Of course, of course. I understand completely. However, my offer will always stand, you are welcome here as long as you would like to be and you may, of course, return back to America whenever you wish."

"That you, sir." I said as I stood up from my chair and headed for the large mahogany door. "Is that all you have summoned to speak to me about?"

"Yes, Mary." Aro finished, opening the door and holding it for me. "You may go back to your activities."

I danced up the stone steps and towards my room. It may seem weird to everyone around me, but I had actually grown fond of this place and the people here. They were not at all entirely disgusting as people had made them out to be.

Sure they could be cruel and harsh, but someone has to enforce the rules, and naturally that makes that person or people fairly unpopular. However, they do it because they have to. If no one kept hold to the rules and the punishments, vampires would wreak havoc on mankind like hell.

Aro was very patient and compassionate; he simple showed it in a different way than Carlisle had. Aro had an enthusiasm about absolutely everything in life, or death, which you would have expected would have worn off after the centuries he had spent here.

Caius had a very rough exterior, but once you had gotten on his good side, he seemed to be a lot like Edward had been. Caius was very smart and very artistic, and deep down, even though he absolutely wouldn't admit it to anyone and hates to show it, he was very kind.

Marcus was quiet and shy, but his mind was full of knowledge and compassion beyond that of anyone that I have ever known. Marcus has got to be single handedly the most gentle and self-sacrificing man that I have ever gotten to know.

And then there were the others; Jane, Demetri, Felix, Alec, and Heidi. Each of them were so entirely different from one another, and yet they still meshed together perfectly, like a family. While the Volturi were not quite as functional as the Cullens were, they still counted as a family because they truly did care for each other.

And even more strange, they had grown to care for me.

Only now did I really understand why Carlisle had sent me here of all places, because he had said that these were the kind of people I would need to get to know in order to discover a lot about myself. He had been very right in his assumption. This family was the other side of me, the side that I had always been afraid to embrace.

While the Cullen family was always good and kind and sweet, there had always been something missing for me that since of belonging and purpose, power even. I had always felt like the odd one out. It was different for me here, the Volturi had always given me a job and I had always had something to do. It felt good knowing that I was actually doing something productive and not merely existing.

I was lost in my thoughts when someone caught my hand and began pulling me down the steps and towards the main trial room. Caius. "Where are we going?"

"Mary, you aren't going to want to miss this." Caius said plainly, "In fact, I think that you'd be excited to see your dearest brother. Edward, I believe his name is."

"Edwards's here?" I asked, suddenly cheery. I wondered if his appearance would have changed any, but then again probably not.

"Don't sound too please, Mary," Caius warned, "He has come to us for a reason."

"What's that?" I asked. Had Edward been sent to come here and get me, to take me back where I had come from. Maybe the Cullens were moving again and he was assuring that I wouldn't get lost if I had decided to come back to Forks and find and empty house.

"He's is coming to ask for death."


	26. Chapter Twenty Five

I Write Sins, Not Tragedies

Chapter Twenty-Five: Choices

"It is so good," Aro began drawlingly as we had all gathered in the grand hall. I was too afraid to look up into the suicidal eyes of my brother, terrified of what I would behold, "To be honored with the company of another member of the Cullen family."

It was then that I tore my gaze to the vampire in the center of the audience. The Edward standing there was hardly recognizable. The Edward I had grown used to seeing had a glow about him, an aura of simply joy mixed with a mocking arrogance that I had grown to adore, and those golden eyes had always been lit up with a tender smoldering.

This man standing before me was not my Edward at all. Of course, he had his hair and his face, but he was empty, there was no emotion before him. The once familiar golden eyes had turned black and the dark circles below them had made him look one hundred and seventeen years old physically. Edward didn't even bother to look over in my direction, and I highly doubted he even possessed the energy to do so if he had really wanted to.

Looking at him broke my heart. I couldn't even fathom what had brought him to this point.

"So, my boy, what have you summoned us for?" Aro finished.

Edward took a moment to answer, and when he finally had, his voice was no longer velvety smooth, but hoarse and croaking. "I have come to ask a favor of you."

"And that would be?" Caius spoke up, an irritated and annoyed twinge to his silky words, "We haven't got all day, Mr. Cullen. Please, get to the point."

"Death." Edward croaked, "I wish for you to kill me."

I couldn't stop myself from reacting to his words. It was one thing to hear it as a rumor from Caius as he drug me down here, but another to hear him admit it himself. I let out an audible gasp that was mutually ignored throughout the room as Aro answered him.

Lips pursed in thought, he spoke, "My dearest boy, it may not be my business to ask of you, but why is it that you come asking for punishment when no rules have been broken."

Edward said nothing.

Aro extended a hand and motioned him forward, it was clear that it was not a negotiable request. "Come here, my boy, give me your hand, share with me your thoughts."

Edward lanked forward, his movement clumsy. Aro met him halfway, whether it was out of eagerness or pity, I couldn't tell. Edward willingly placed his hand into Aro's and awaited his reaction. After Aro was finished peering into his mind, he released Edward's hand and his expression was thoughtful.

Aro moved back to his chair, and rested his old head inside of his hand before he spoke airily. "To be young and to feel love's keen sting."

Love! What had Aro seen inside my brother's mind that would make him give such a peculiar comment. Edward hadn't had anyone in his life, and even if he had, I couldn't see who could have broken his heart to the point of him wanting death.

What about Carlisle and Esme? Was Edward even thinking of what his death would do to them, after all these years that they had loved and nurtured him. Not to mention how Alice, Rosalie, Jasper, and Emmett would react. If I loved Edward so dearly after only a few months of knowing him, how much more so would his death affect the siblings he had known for decades?

"Well?" Caius pressed his brother. "What are we going to do with him?"

Aro tapped a finger against his chin in thought, it riveted me, it seemed like such a human thing to do. "While the death of this boy would be such a terrible waste, he seems to have already made up his mind. If we do not give it to him now, he will certain seek our wrath in order to achieve it."

"Then wish granted?" Caius clarified, standing up in preparation for the deed.

There was no standing back now. I knew that as soon as Aro spoke the word, Edward would cease to exist. I stepped forward from the side lines in panic. "NO!"

Aro and Caius both had the same expression of shock, and in that moment it was clear to me the resemblance between the two. "Mary?" Aro gave me permission to speak.

"Don't you dare give this to him!" I half shouted. I had moved so that I was planted firmly between Edward and Caius. "Don't you dare kill him!"

"Mary," Caius tried to move me out of the way, pulling on my hand carefully. "Edward has chosen his fate."

"He's stupid!" I retorted desperately, I could feel the stinging of tears in my eyes even though I knew they would never manifest. "He doesn't know what he wants! He doesn't know what he's asking for!"

"Mary." Edward's voice was a pleading whisper. "Move out of the way."

I wheeled on him, "Absolutely not!"

Aro spoke up now, he had been watching my reaction carefully. His voice was calm, "It has been decided, Mary. Now please, Mary, move out of the way."

I was only half aware of what I was saying. "I'll stay."

Aro's response mimicked all the other's in the room. A silent question played in his crimson eyes and he sized up my offer.

"Keep him alive," I began, this time more convincingly. "And I will stay here with you…and never return back to the Cullens."

There was dead silence across the entire room that was only broken after a fair amount of time when Edward spoke into my ear. "Mary…what are you doing…do you have any idea…do you know what you are agreeing to?"

I ground my teeth stubbornly and turned my gaze back to Aro. It didn't matter what I was getting myself into, or what I was giving up, I wasn't going to sit back and watch him get killed. Not without trying everything first.

Aro was giving my offer careful consideration, sizing up his options strategically. Finally, with a final pursing of his lips. "We, my dear, have a deal."


	27. Chapter Twenty Six

I Write Sins, Not Tragedies

Chapter Twenty-Six: Déjà vu

And that was that. Edward left alive, angry and bitter, but alive. And I stayed back, accepting the fate that I had chosen for myself, chosen in order to save someone else that I loved. I couldn't bring myself to regret my choice, but I sure as hell was pissed off when Edward had come back because he had, of course, decided to go and provoke the Volturi even after I had just given up everything to save his ass.

But I was glad to have gotten the chance to see Alice, at least, and also to meet the girl who had caused my brother so much incredible pain. I was so amazed when I had laid eyes on her and discovered that she was completely human. It was such a shock to me.

Even bigger of a shock was that Aro let them leave alive, most likely because he was in such a giddy mood that he had already gotten a new member into his clan. Permanently. While I loved the Volturi and I enjoyed their company, as soon as I had made my deal I had felt as if a part of me had died, died and left me empty.

While everyone else was overjoyed that I had agreed to become a member of their group, I couldn't bring myself to match their enthusiasm. Now I knew that there was no more Carlisle, no more Esme or Edward, no more Jasper, Rosalie, and Alice. More heartbreaking that all, there was no more Emmett.

I had broken the one promise I had made to him. The promise to return home.

Laying here in these silk sheets, wishing they would somehow morph into the white cotton ones that I had gotten so used to being wrapped in, Emmett was all I was able to think about. That dreary rain that leaked outside the windows matched my sullen mood.

What had I agreed to? What had I just gotten myself into?

Hell.

I knew that I didn't want to be here anymore, and most certainly not for the rest of eternity. However I also knew Aro and the other's enough to know that once you make a deal with them, there is no going back on your word. I was stuck.

How was everyone back home going to take this? How would they react to me leaving them without even a goodbye? How would Emmett react? Would he have moved on? The idea of him being with anyone else produced a ripping feeling through my chest.

I wanted him for myself, I was selfish like that. But then again, when life hands you a dream beyond anything you could have every imagined, it is unreasonable to grieve when it comes to an end. And mine had ended. This was no longer a dream, it had turned into a nightmare.

Below me in the corridors, there was an angry pounding. Probably Caius pitching another fit about something or Felix and Demetri engaging in another pointless wrestling match. Whatever it had been, I didn't care. I no longer cared about anything.

Louder and louder and louder. The pounding fit was growing closer to me, and growing its grasp on my curiosity. Words and muffled arguments were being mixed in, and the sound was only distantly familiar. I had only recognized the face of Emmett Cullen when he broke down the door to my room and that blinding light behind him.

"Mary." Emmett spoke, it was a breath.

"Mary." The voice was beginning to morph, it was no longer in Emmett's masculine tone, but something in between.

As the white light swallowed up my dearest Emmett completely from my vision I was brought back to reality. The voice was a shout, high a female, and with a tug I lifted my head and removed myself from my trance. "MARY! LOOK OUT!"

Where the hell was I?

I was starting at a rainy road, and turning my attention to what I had held inside my hand, it was a CD. I had been on the floor of the car trying to fetch it after it missed my grasp. I turned my head to the passenger side of the car, and met the terrified eyes of my mother as she turned back to watch the semi-truck that had barely missed us speed by in the opposite direction.

Everything I had believed to have happened to me; the death of my mother, living with the Cullen family, becoming a vampire, joining the Volturi. _I had only seen my life flashing before my eyes. _None of what I had believed to be my reality had actually ever happened at all.

Instead I was back where I had started my story, sitting in that car with my mother (still very much alive and real) on our was to our Los Angeles vacation. I was given a second chance at life, a chance to start over.

Actual tears welled in my eyes and ran down my cheeks as I slammed on my breaks and threw off my seatbelt, wrapping my arms around my mother. "Mom. Mom, you're alright. Y-you're alive." I was stumbling over my words, I couldn't get them out fast enough, my mind couldn't understand any of it. "I-I love you, mom…I love you.."

My mom returned the hug awkwardly, shocked by my odd behavior. "I-I love you too, honey. What's wrong? What's gotten into you?"

I couldn't let go of her, and I couldn't stop crying. She had died, or at least I had believed she had for so long. And now I discovered that nothing I had believed to have lived through the last few years hadn't happened at all, it was merely my life flashing before me in the close proximity to the death I had nearly faced.

My mother was here, alive, and I was human. I was still Mary Renner. I was my old me again.

I was crying so hard that I was shaking and my mom pulled away, concern for my sanity leaking through her eyes. "Maybe, I should drive, sweetie."

"No." I insisted, my mind wrapping back into reality. "No. No. I'm fine, I'm fine." I paused, thinking on whether or not I knew exactly how to get where I knew that I needed to go. "I just...we have to take a little detour first..."

There was only one thing I would have changed about my old life, there was only one thing I didn't regret, and only one thing I needed to make right, even though I had never technically gone wrong in the first place. I knew that any life I would live would never be complete without my Emmett.

My mother was confused. "Where…where are we going."

I made a safe U turn before answering her. "You'll see."

I had made a few wrong turns along the way, but eventually I made it. My mother had tried to ask me a few more times where we were going or whether or not I had lost my mind, but eventually she had shut up and taken to watching my carefully instead.

Eventually I had pulled into the long familiar drive of the Portland home of those strange people that I had grown to love, though only in that brief moment for what I had believed to be forever. I didn't even hesitate as I approached the large home.

He was standing in the garage, working over his Jeep. It was clear that it was freshly washed. My voice was thick with tears and nervousness as I approached him. "Emmett.."

He looked up to me, "Can I help you, miss?"

I simply stared at him and took him all in, he was exactly as I had seen him. Tall, muscular, dimpled. Perfect. I couldn't stop the tears from running down my cheeks as I had swallowed the urge to apologize, reminding myself that this man didn't know me yet.

My mother yelled back at me from the car, confused. "Mary? What the hell are you doing? Who is he?"

There was the sound of small, excited footsteps and a voice from behind me nearly scared me out of my skin. I allowed the tears to fall once her words sunk in. Alice. "We've been waiting for you, Mary."

I grinned at her, but failed. I was crying like a pathetic baby. And in this moment, I didn't care because honestly, that is exactly what I was. Alice reassured me by wrapping one of her arms around my waist and steadied my shaking form. Edward appeared at the garage door and smiled his crooked smile at me, clearly he had understood what I had just lived through.

I had showed him everything in my mind. Of what I had seen, of what I had felt. And even though only a second of my life had really gone by, in my heart it was so much more. I had felt as if I had really lived it all. Edward stalked forward, his movements gradual and moved to match Alice at my other side.

"She really hasn't shut up about you," Edward said, clearly speaking of Alice's visions. "It's about time you finally got here."

Alice sent Emmett a meaningful gaze as her arm around my waist tightened affectionately. "Emmett, this is the girl I've been telling you about. This is Mary."

Alice must have mentioned me a few times, or likely more than that, because Emmett's golden eyes turned soft as he took me in once more. I couldn't contain myself any longer. I moved towards him, wrapped my arms around his tall neck, my feet no longer on the floor and pressed my lips to his in that passionate way that I had so badly craved to in all the months I had believed to have known him.

It may have been crazy, and it may have been strange. But even though I had only honestly had a glimpse of what could have been in my near death, but inside of his kiss I knew that I was home, and this was where I was going to stay.


	28. The End

"Auntie Mary," Nessie said cautiously as she knocked on the door to my room, she peaked her bronze ringlets around the corner. "May Jake and I come in?"

I smiled up at her, I patted the side of my bed so that she knew she could sit down and join me. "Of course, sweetie."

Her chocolate eyes were empty while she had attempted a grin. She was grieving and trying not to let me see it. Renesmee was always so strong, much like her father. "How are you feeling?"

I smiled back a her, trying to be reassuring. "Healthy as a horse."

I could see the tears start to form in her typically joyful eyes and she tried to push them back with a small laugh. Her young and glowing cream colored hand took hold of mine, reminding me of what I once was. Renesmee and I didn't exactly know what to say to each other. Neither of us were good at goodbyes.

Jake cleared his throat. "Are you scared?"

"Of dying?" I asked, "Nah. Not a bit. It's natural."

I felt Renesmee gently squeeze my hand and I didn't miss the tear that had escaped. I had loved this child, I had watched her grow inside her mother's stomach, I had watched her grow up so miraculously, I had watched as she fell in love and got married. I had gone from being called her sister, to her aunt, and eventually being introduced as her grandmother.

"Don't cry, Nessie." I sat my fragile withered form up and wrapped my grey and wrinkled arms around her. "Shh, Ness, don't cry."

"I love you, Mary." Nessie spoke through her tears. "I-I'm going to miss you so much."

Renesmee had never been subjected to watching death, or age, except from her grandfather who had died twenty years ago. Everyone else in her life would continue on with her forever, and I think that she had somewhat expected me to as well.

But I wasn't going to. Carlisle had said he doubted I was going to survive through the night. This was my end, and I had lived my life so well and haven't missed out on anything at all.

I had married the man that I had loved so truly. I had spent a lifetime with my mother, who had died at the age of ninety-three. I had spent all the time in the world with the family I had loved, and survived all the drama that it came with.

There was nothing I regretted in my life, and especially not my choice to remain human through it all. There were times that I had given thought to giving in and joining their life, but I knew that it was not something that I was meant to do.

And as the years wore on, it led me here. To the day I was to die.

"I love you, Nessie." I said finally. "I have always loved you, and I always will."

I allowed her to rest her head on me until she finally calmed down and her tears stopped flowing, which Edward and Bella had timed excellently with their arrival inside the room to join us. Jacob and Nessie exited, allowing them to say their goodbyes in private.

Laying eyes on Edward nearly made me burst into tears. Edward had always been my best friend and my most trusted and admired companion. I had wanted to extend my time with him and re-live all of those precious moments that the two of us had shared together. I loved my brother, dearly.

Edward smiled sadly and walked around, placing a kiss on top of my gray hair and taking my fragile hand in his. Bella had carefully wiped a tear from my gray cheek, allowing me some dignity. My decision to stay human, to ultimately die, was something she could have never understood. But it was something that she had respected me for.

"You can still change your mind, Louie." Edward said, the hope still slightly in his voice. "You can still chose to stay with us."

I laughed a little. "No thank you, Edward. I don't want to stay a hundred and eleven years old for the rest of eternity. Carlisle had kept me alive entirely too long."

Edward swallowed the tears he wouldn't shed. "We'll miss you. More than you know."

I smiled a little, sadness shining through. "This is the way it's supposed to be."

Bella, always awkward to show her feelings, spoke up this time. "I-I-I don't know what we are going to do without you, Mary. I never-we-I never pictured this."

I patted her leg, stopping her from jumbling her words any more. "I know, Bella, believe me. I never really pictured my death either, it feels like my life has flown by."

"It has." Edward said. "Especially for us."

I gave Edward's hand another squeeze, knowing that this was the last time that he and I were ever going to talk. I really wished that I had something better to say to him, but I was honestly just too weak to pour my heart out.

Carlisle and Esme were by my side next, and both carefully took my body into a hug. I had already said my goodbyes to them, the people I had always considered my parents, even though everyone else now saw me are theirs.

There was another knock at the door, and Rosalie's voice rang in. "May I have a moment alone with her? Please." Slowly, everyone gave me one final hug and sullenly walked out of the room while Rosalie waited on the other side, arms at her side and looking at her feet.

Once we were alone, she spoke up. "I know I've spent your entire life preaching about how much I hated the idea of you becoming a vampire and giving it all up. I-I know that.." Rosalie was having trouble not choking in her grief, "I know…that now that you're sitting here about to…about to die."

It was silent for a long moment while she gathered her thoughts. Instead of talking immediately, before I could blink I was wrapped in a tight hug. Her voice was thick in my ear. "Mary, I love you and I cannot tell you how…proud I am of you. You've stuck to your guns all these years and I can't imagine how hard it must have been looking into that mirror as you grew older and older and watching Emmett and all of us stay like this.

"I can't imagine what was going through your head as you realized that you were ultimately going to die and leave us all. I can't imagine the pain you've gone through, that inner torment. You, Mary, are so much stronger than anyone gives you credit for. I don't think you know how much I am going to miss you."

Rosalie pulled away, her yellow eyes liquid with emotion. I could tell from the warmth on my cheek that mine were wet with tears. I had always admired Rosalie, and now it was her giving me praise. One again she spoke, her cold hand in mine. "I wish there were some other way for you to stay with us forever, I really do."

I spoke up once I had found my voice. "I know, Rose, so do I."

I didn't notice that Jasper and Alice had made their way in while I was buried in Rose's golden locks of hair. Alice smiled at me and Jasper nodded solemnly, clearly he was taking in the emotions that were radiating through the house. I felt sorry for him.

Alice's voice was unusually sad. "We just came to make sure that we got a chance to say goodbye, Mary."

I nodded and Alice leapt up to give me an affectionate hug. "I love you Mary, I just wish you hadn't been so damn stubborn through all these years." I could tell her reprimanding was simply her way of showing grief.

Jasper had taken me into his arms once she had let go. "I'm going to miss you, Lou."

My voice was still thick with tears. "I'll miss you all too. So, so much."

Alice tugged Jasper and Rosalie to gather their attention. "Guys, let's give them a moment." It was her signal that Emmett had finally mustered his emotions into coming in to see his wife on her death bed.

He waited until they were gone before he walked in slowly and sat on the foot of my bed. I smiled at him and wiped away a few of the remaining tears. "Hey."

Emmett took my hand and rubbed the top softly. "Mary…" His voice was a somber whisper.

"It's okay, Em," I insisted, "I'm okay."

Emmett knew better. "No you aren't, I can see it."

I smiled sadly and sighed, leaning my head onto his shoulder. "Oh, Emmett."

"I don't know what I am going to do without you, Mary." Emmett began, "I really don't." There was a pause before he continued. "I had never saw myself falling in love with anyone, and then you came waltzing into my garage that day a totally emotional wreck and as soon as Alice had told me your name, that you were the girl who she had told us all about for decades.

"And Edward, who recognized you straight away as the girl from Alice's many visions and who had read your thoughts and seen what you had believed to have lived for so long, that you were already in love of me simply by what you saw when your life flashed before you.

"And when we got married and spent those months in Paris as our honeymoon and I had taught you to speak French, despite your every protests. And those moments you spent with Nessie and watching her grow up, knowing that I had deprived you of being a mother."

I had opened my mouth to protest, but he continued. "But then I realized that you chose to stay with me, you chose to give up so much just because you loved me."

"I still do, Emmett." I said, "I always will."

Emmett placed his cool lips to mine gently before he spoke again. "I can't tell you what it did to me as I watched you grow old, and watched you grow weaker with every passing year. It killed me, knowing that I was eventually going to lose you, that we would eventually be here."

"This is where life is supposed to end, Emmett. I am happy with the life you've given me." I answered him firmly. "There isn't anything I would have done differently."

"Well there is something I would have." Emmett said darkly.

"Don't pity the dead, Emmett, pity the living." I began, "And most of all pity those who have lived without love. There is nothing to fear about dying, it is only the next adventure."

"You're trying to be brave." Emmett answered.

"No." I continued, "I've just come to terms with humanity."

"You're too stubborn for your own good."

"Are we going to spend our last moments together arguing about my choices?" I asked. "Because that isn't exactly the way I want to go out of this world."

Emmett sighed and laid down next to me, giving in. His large hands gently caressed my gray cloud of hair and his yellow eyes beamed into my green ones. I could visibly see the sadness leak into his gaze as he fully realized exactly where this night was going to end.

Seeing his sadness, mine too overwhelmed me, the tears had made their stray down my wrinkled cheeks and my lips trembled. Slowly Emmett steadied them with his own, and I had wondered if it were at all weird for him to be kissing me now as an old woman.

Emmett could see past all the pretenses, all the bravery, and straight into my soul. I was really afraid, but not of death, I was afraid of leaving him and leaving everyone behind.

Slowly I allowed myself to relax into his embrace with a few final sobs. This was it, and I could feel death starting to pull me under, it was a heavy sinking feeling. Sensing those last moments, I opened my mouth to speak my final four words to my husband. "I love you, Emmett."

The End


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